The Year Untold
by feedthecat
Summary: Sequel to Road Trip, which is another fic that I have written. This is a story composed of snippets of time counting down between the last day of the trip and the epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hi! I'm back. From an extremely long hiatus. (Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.) I've been preoccupied with several things even after my exams, but I've finally settled down and found the time to write. As said in the description, this is a sequel to ****_Road Trip_****, a fic I've written a few months ago. Please enjoy and review! :)**

* * *

It was, as they all say, love at first sight… _not_. No. It was not love at first sight. In fact, it was so far from it that the chances of Ted hating his job as an architect would have been deemed higher. And as everybody knows, Ted really loves his job.

* * *

**Three hundred days before**

"Hey, I'm so sorry I'm late." Robin rushed into Barney's apartment in a hurry. She flicked off her shoes, set her bag onto the couch and joined him in the open kitchen where he was brewing a coffee. "I told Ted I was going back to the office to gather some articles for tomorrow's broadcast and he spun off into this long story of something he read on the newspaper. Don't remember much but it was about health care, I think." She spoke quickly, trying to catch her breath. At last, her voice tuned down into a murmur as they locked lips nearly instantly after she was done talking.

They kissed for a while, putting everything off their minds until he broke it off gently. Nodding to his cup of coffee, he asked her if she wanted any and she politely rejected his offer.

"Can't. Early shift at 5 tomorrow morning doing a live broadcast. Need to be able to sleep tonight." She pulled a face, torn.

"So you're not staying over? Last week had been great. Plus it's nearly 9. After we're done it'd be 10 at the earliest... I know you can handle being on your own - and I respect that - but a girl being alone out in New York City isn't very safe." He responded immediately out of concern, and she smiled.

It was weird for Robin, seeing this side of Barney. The caring, nurturing side she didn't know had ever existed. Just like everyone else, she was used to seeing the bold and brash version, and she had to admit that she felt special for being let into his inner circle and being revealed his true personality.

As for Barney... something had definitely been happening to his emotions lately. A mere two weeks ago, they had been on the road trip together, and having discovered the good side of each other, they had made a pact on a secret relationship, agreeing that they would pretty much make the most awesome pairing out of the gang anyway - they might as well go for it. And since then, they had been sneaking in and out, lying excessively to their friends about their whereabouts and doing all sorts of dangerously exciting things.

He realised that he cared for her and had a desire to make sure she was safe. He had done some self exploration mentally but he didn't understand why his heart chose her. But he guessed it didn't matter. He had felt like his emotional growth taking place - and although he would never admit such a thing out loud as he preferred to be thought of as a cool and laidback person, he was content with it.

"Nah, I really can't. I'll be fine, and I promise to check in with you when I get home so you know I've not been kidnapped." She shrugged, persisting, and he didn't try to argue. It had been a peaceful two weeks when the two of them were alone. No arguments - verbal of physical - at all had sprouted and they were very happy with it. Though obviously, so early into a relationship, it was always just the 'honeymoon period' - the period that was all about expressing the feelings that had been suppressed for a while now. It usually only lasted for one or two months before the real struggles appear and the cracks began to show, but not being experts at dating, they were never seeing anything coming. The two were just happy to be seeing each other and calling it dating.

* * *

**Two hundred and ninety-five days before**

"I'm exhausted," Lily groaned as she sat down on one side of the booth with a beer, beside Marshall and facing Ted. "This kid at my kindergarten class today was just _awful_. It was nap time but he was high as a kite, running around disturbing everyone. It took me twenty minutes to calm him down, and that was twenty minutes off my own nap time."

"Aw, Lily. I know how you feel about your naps. I can sort out the laundry tonight and you can go to bed early." Marshall, like usual, replied lovingly, to which she responded with an extended 'aw' and they both exchanged a kiss on the lips.

"Look at you two, being all lovey dovey… that's exactly what I want in my life. I've been wanting it for so long, and I know you're my best friends and I'm not supposed to say this, but I guess I get kind of jealous sometimes." Ted sighed, focusing on spinning his empty bottle on the table. "I mean, it would be nice to have the kind of love you guys share, with someone."

"Well, we shared a toothbrush once, so I guess you're a part of us in a way," Marshall stated, giving a casual shrug before taking a sip of Lily's beer.

"Yeah…" Ted lingered, visually cringing. "That's not something I'd like to be constantly reminded of."

"It doesn't matter, Ted. You will find the girl you want to marry soon. We all go at different paces." Lily reassured him, but even though he knew there was some truth in what she had just said, he knew she was just being kind.

"Thanks, Lil. But I highly doubt it, because…" he trailed off, biting his lip. He wasn't sure if he should say this, but he went for it anyway. "What if I was meant to be with Robin after all? Not like we're not fine with friends, I mean. Because we are." He added, pausing for a reaction from his friends.

"No, Ted. Stop." That was Marshall.

"You're not allowed to think about that anymore." Lily nodded, agreeing with her husband. "You guys wanted different things in life - it's very clear you never would have worked out anyway. Yeah, you dated, and kudos to you for landing a solid 10 when you're a mere 6 - that was a 4 point swing nicely done. But that was nearly a year and a half ago. I can only imagine things being more complicated if you were to bring it up again now."

"But I just thought-"

"No." Lily objected firmly, before softening. "Don't do this to yourself and don't do this to her. It's not going to come through. It's _never_ going to come through. I know this sounds harsh, but I just need to be honest with you right now before you blindly stumble into this whole thing again and hurt everyone."

"Fine," Ted mumbled in a low voice. "But it was just a thought that I happened to be… thinking about. The thought's gone now. I promise you."

"Good. Don't ever think about that again."

Ted nodded, pretending to agree with Lily. He could not just _stop thinking about it. _What kind of advice was that? He knew Lily and Marshall wanted the best for him, and he knew that there was a very high chance pursuing Robin again would be a big mistake... but still, he had to start somewhere if he wanted to get anywhere. He had to try again. He just had to. _Just one more good fling_, he thought, keeping to himself, _and if it doesn't work out, I'm never going to try again._

* * *

**Two hundred and eighty-one days before**

"But I have been thinking about it again. The thing with Robin. Not a lot. Just… a lot. For the past two weeks. _Actually_, non-stop." Ted finally confessed as he hopped onto the couch next to Marshall. He figured he could be honest with his best buddy. After all, he _had_ been thinking about it. He thought that maybe letting Marshall know would be a good idea. Maybe he would even receive some sound advice when Marshall realised how persistent he was.

Upon hearing that, Marshall set his mug of cocoa down onto the coffee table. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as if to clear his thoughts before he cleared his throat as well.

"Ted… I thought we talked about this."

"Did we?" Ted questioned, feigning innocence.

"Yes. You've heard what Lily said. And my wife is right, as she always is. You told me this yourself - you broke up because you wanted different things. See, that's the whole thing about relationships and marriage. Two people must overcome these differences. You couldn't with her, and you still won't be able to now, not even after it's been one and a half years and you think you know her a whole lot more than you did back then." He dished out patiently, not wanting to hurt his best friend. "Because the truth is, you don't. You never did. There was never a connection."

"Yeah, but we could. I mean, we could always try again. Besides, she let me call her RoRo last week. She never lets anyone call her nicknames. That had to mean something." Ted tried to make his case persuasive. "What do you say? Try again?"

"Ted, she was asleep on this very couch in this very apartment in the moment you called her that. That doesn't count. She wasn't even conscious, for God's sake."

"Fine, you have a point. But, really? Nothing? No hope?"

"Absolutely none. Besides, something's been really weird about Barney and Robin lately. They act like they're trying not to be obsessed with each other and I don't think that's working."

Ted sat up a little straighter. "What do you mean?"

"Barney tried to kick Robin under the table, but he missed and kicked me instead. And that was when I knew it wasn't the regular kind of kick either, the one you do to your brothers and sisters you really hate, but a flirtatious one." Marshall said seriously.

"Oh, come on. How can a kick be flirtatious?"

"It can, and I've experienced it so I think you should be listening close."

"You're crazy. Barney and Robin are never going to happen. While I love them both equally as individuals, they hate each other. Sure, not as much as they used to, but they still do. I just know that deep down, they hate each other so much it keeps them wide awake at night."

"Yeah, you know what else keeps them both awake at night, at the same time?" Marshall replied, and grinned.

"Just stop it." Ted rolled his eyes and gave his best friend a kick in the shin. "They're never going to happen. Come on. You're my best friend. Are you going to root for me or not?"

Marshall sighed, and lowered his head. "Sorry, but you're on your own this time, buddy."

* * *

**Two hundred and sixty-seven days before**

Robin sat uneasily in the booth, checking her phone every two minutes while clutching a glass of scotch in her other hand.

"What's the matter, Robin? You're so antsy today." Lily declared. She had noticed Robin's strange behaviour a while ago, but didn't want to say anything. But now, it had gotten so obvious that she felt like something had to be said.

"Nothing that important," she responded, half sheepish for making her friend worry and half worried that her cover might be blown. And in truth, she guessed it was really nothing of huge importance. She had been playing an online game of Scrabble with Barney for the past few days and it was his turn to place his tiles. "Just games on the phone," she shrugged, flashing her phone screen to show everyone a random game of scrabble she had been playing with a complete stranger.

"You play Scrabble too?" Ted piped up enthusiastically. "I need to add you as a friend. How come you've never told me that? Okay, by the way... you _need_ to hear this story. So I was having my usual game night on Friday-"

"-by yourself, naturally, because I actually have a social life and Marshall was going through important documents from work." Lily cut him off, grinning mischievously and Robin nearly snorted at her remark.

"Nice," Robin declared as she raised a palm for Lily to high-five. Lily responded nimbly.

"Anyway, let me finish the story. So I was playing Scrabble on my phone, and I got 70 points. For just one word. Can you believe it? I won the game as well, by like, 80 points." He nodded excitedly, and the ladies stared at him in the most sympathetic way.

"Oh Teddy boy... I'm not sure that was a very interesting story." Robin furrowed her brow in an attempt to mock him as she pretended to ponder over the details of his story.

"I mean, the New York Architecture Magazine would be more interesting than this, and you both know how I feel about that magazine." Lily added, pulling a face.

"Nice - again! You're on a roll today, girlfriend!" Robin exclaimed, high-fiving Lily again.

"How dare you two!" Ted grit his teeth. "The New York Architecture Magazine is very interesting. There are so many things you can learn just from reading a few articles." Ted mumbled. He wasn't offended, though. The group made fun of each other all the time and it had easily become the norm. Just last week, they had all had a grand time making fun of Lily for being asked 'but Ms. Aldrin, aren't you 50 years old?' innocently by a cute toddler in her kindergarten class. Joke come and go. There were no hard feelings in this booth.

They continued chitchatting, laughing and exchanging tales, and during that time, Robin checked her phone a few more times, and then again after barely a minute. It was scary how much she wanted to be with Barney all the time, even if it was just getting a response in the virtual world. _Maybe_, she thought, _that was love breeding in the heart. Or maybe she was just being really, creepily obsessed. _She couldn't decide which was scarier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Two hundred and sixty days before**

"No, _you_ listen to me! You're not-" Robin raised her voice but was cut off by Barney.

"_You're_ the one not listening. You work all the time! And now that Sandy Rivers is back again in your office - and he keeps hitting on you." Barney snapped, pacing back and forth in his apartment, frustrated. His voice was strained.

"No, he does not! This has _nothing_ to do with him. I don't even like him. Why are you dragging him into this? If you want to talk about me working too much, you talk about that and not anything else!" She yelled, grabbing the mug in front of her and throwing it at him. He dodged swiftly and the mug flew onto the wall, crashing with a loud noise.

"That mug was from my mum! How dare you," he spoke through gritted teeth, his jaw tightening.

"How dare you accuse me of cheating with Sandy _freaking_ Rivers!" She screeched, at her wits ends. "Of all people!"

"I didn't say you were cheating on me! I said he kept hitting on you, which is nothing but the truth." He rolled his eyes, wiping sweat off his brow. "You're not even making sense right now."

"I'm not making sense? _What is wrong with you? _I'm proud of my career and you're not going to take that away from me. I don't care. You know it. You know I'm proud of the work I do. You can't expect me to put it aside. This was part of the deal." She puffed, her heart stinging.

"Nobody's taking anything from you. Why don't you just get what I'm trying to say? I don't need you to throw it away _entirely_, I need you to make sure you're taking care of yourself. You're the first one there and the last one out at the office - it doesn't make sense."

"Why can't you be a bit more understanding? I told you. This career is what I have._ It's_ _all I have_."

"I _am_ being understanding. You're the one being irrational. Work, work, work. That's all you ever care about. What about _me_?"

"I _do_ care about you!" Robin's face flushed hotly. She felt embarrassed and overwhelmed, expressing her feelings like this. But she had said it, and she had meant it. "But I also care about my work. Stop making me feel bad about wanting a _career_!"

"You talk about your work as if it's the one keeping you warm at night. It's not. That's _me_. Work is never going to hold you. It's never going to make lunch for you or make you laugh. Why are you so obsessed with it?" Barney sighed, but even through his frustrations, his features eventually softened. He rubbed his temples, and he lowered his voice. "I'm asking you take a break because I'm worried about you."

"Worried about what? You're worried that I'm going to earn more money than you? You're worried that I'm going to give more attention to work than you? You're worried-"

"_That's not what I'm worried about!_" Barney raised his voice again, startling Robin, but only ever so slightly. "I'm worried about _you_! It's all about _you,_ Robin. Damn it. Why do you always do this? Why do you always blow things out of proportion?"

"Fine! It's all my fault. I work too much. But that's none of your business. You care too much," Robin cried, her eyes blurring. She wiped a tear from the back of her hand. Her hair was tousled and she could feel her makeup starting to run, but she didn't care. "I think we need to take a break. It was all a mistake. It wasn't going to work out. It was _never _going to work out. We're too different." She lowered her voice until she was mumbling, and walked across the landing to get her bag and her coat.

"Fine!" He tried to keep his volume low but failed to do so. "We're too different. I knew it was too good to be true." He paused for breath, fidgeting as he watched her put on her shoes and gather her things. "Fine!" He repeated. "You walk out that door and we're never speaking again! You step out and _we're officially over_!"

Robin ignored Barney's call and stormed right out of his apartment, slamming the door with a loud thud behind her. She could feel her eyes pricked with tears once again. Just a week ago, things were completely fine. How did it end up like this? She couldn't go to Lily for advice, even though she wanted to. Having a long talk with her best friend on this secret relationship was too much for her right now. She was tired and she needed to head back to her apartment to think things through on her own.

Maybe she was right about them not working out. A part of her, like Barney had said, had known that these few weeks had been too good to be true. It just was not like her to be committed and happy about being in a serious relationship. It was new for him, too, and though she loved how things were going and how he made her feel, a part of her wavered. Being in a relationship rouses a new wonderful side of her, but disturbs the once career-driven powerhouse. They both had a lot to learn, and she figured neither of them were ready.

Robin sighed. It didn't matter in the end, because it never worked out anyway.

* * *

**Two hundred and fifty-five days before**

"Hey, what's up with you two? You were fine two weeks ago." Ted wondered out loud as he caught up on the fact that Barney and Robin had not been speaking to each other for a while.

"Nothing," Robin replied, clearly still peeved.

They had not spoken since that evening when they have had their first official argument. She had felt terrible afterwards, but being egotistical, she had not wanted to make the first move and apologise, even as friends, just like he had not wanted to either. The thing was, they both had an ego and a rough exterior they did not want to tear down. It was a problem they both knew would surface someway along the relationship, and it was the same problem they had actively tried to avoid. They had known the cracks would show, but they had never thought it would happen so quickly.

But they both decided that their differences didn't mattered in the end. They somehow realised that they were over and done with before they had begun. They didn't think they were going through a rough patch either; it just wasn't a perfect fit. And sometimes in life, you had to deal with it and move on with courage. They shrugged it off for the most part, although deep down, they still cared enough to want a second chance.

"Come on, you guys are just being childish." Lily joined in casually, before noticing the annoyed expressions on both Barney and Robin's faces. She lowered her voice, genuinely worried. "What's the matter? Was it something one of us said?"

"In my defense, Barney told me it was okay to go through with that joke about the ice cream truck." Marshall clarified, declaring his innocence.

"Nah, that joke was great. It's not you. Don't worry." Barney shrugged. "It's just that a certain _someone_ never listens."

At the sound of that, Robin felt her throat tighten in anger. She turned to Ted instead. "Ted, can you please tell Barney that he's a grossly annoying womaniser that _never listens_?"

Ted cleared his throat awkwardly and turned to Barney. "Barney, Robin wants to tell you-"

"Ted, please tell Robin that she's selfish and obsessed with her career."

Ted turned to face Robin.

"Robin, Barney wants to tell you that you-"

"Ted, will you please just tell Barney to shut up? He's too loud. I can't hear the sound of me ignoring him. Thanks." Robin responded as she cut Ted off. She placed a hand on his, just to provoke Barney.

Ted looks perplexed, caught between his pair of friends, but he let her hand linger. He was about to pass on the message when Lily cut him off. Grateful to finally be let off the hook, he let her speak.

"Guys, stop it! What's wrong? You had been so peaceful for the past few weeks." Lily interrupted, and the gang could hear a hint of annoyance in her voice. Lily didn't like it when the gang fought. She just had some motherly instinct, and she treated all of them like children whenever they were acting like one.

"Nothing, I swear." Robin said, finishing her beer. She retracted her hand and got up on her feet, straightening her blouse.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked.

"Work. Just a few things to sort out," she mumbled as she grabbed her bag and bolted towards the exit at the bar.

"_Typical_," Barney murmured, lowering his eyes to avert the sight of her leaving the bar.

* * *

**Two hundred and thirty-five days before**

The fight between Barney and Robin seemed to have resolved on its own as time passed, and although Barney and Robin were still a bit stiff with each other, things were back to normal on the most part. Lily was thrilled she was able to take Friday off and have a long weekend as the kindergarten celebrated its fifteenth anniversary on Thursday evening and rewarded everyone with a day off, and she couldn't help but grin when she went to meet Ted and Marshall at the bar.

"Guess what I did all day?" Lily asked as she sat down with a beer. "Actually, don't guess, because I'm going to reveal it anyway. I woke up at 11, and then I had brunch-"

"You had brunch without me?" Marshall asked, sounding slightly wounded.

"Sorry, babe. We can have brunch tomorrow. Sounds good?"

"Sounds great."

"Okay, what was I saying?" Lily continued. "Right. OK. So I had brunch, and then I sorted out my wardrobe, which was something I had been putting off for _ages_. At 4, I just sat on the couch and watched Grey's Anatomy with a soda and microwaved popcorn. And then I got my butt up at 7 and now we're all here."

"That sounds awesome," Marshall replied supportively. "But not _everyone's_ here." He turned to Ted. "Man, this booth feels so empty with just the three of us."

"I know, right?" Ted said. "I mean, we hardly see Robin anymore. Or Barney."

"Those crazy kids are just too wild for us old peeps," Lily said, as Barney strolled into the bar. She noticed out of the corner of her eye and nodded at him. "Oh, hey. Speak of the devil. Barney's here."

Ted moved aside as Barney sat down, adjusting his tie with a scornful look on his face.

"This tie's just no good. I expected it to be of better quality, but it kind of sucks." Barney complained as he twisted the knot around his neck several times. "I need to talk to my tailor about this."

Lily rolled her eyes. "It seems fine! Stop touching it. You're just too particular with your ties."

"No, I'm not. This tie is no good. I shouldn't have worn it. It makes me uncomfortable and I want to rip it off. Except I can't, because I can't imagine wearing a suit without a tie. Just _scandalous_."

"Give it a rest, Barney." Lily said, dismissing the topic. "By the way, have you seen Robin lately? We were just talking about that. It's so weird how she's never really here anymore. I haven't had a good chat with her in _forever, _and I have so much gossip to talk to her about."

"She's probably at work. You know how she is. Work, work, work. All she ever cares about is work." Barney replied with a sneer, and then immediately felt bad for having said those things. Why was he so obsessed with her? Like Lily said, he should really just give it a rest and let it go. She clearly had done that already. Maybe out of embarrassment, or maybe purely because she just decided that she didn't like him anymore. Either way, she had never tried to speak to him on her own after the fight, so why was he so intent on slamming her when she wasn't around? He knew the words would definitely have upset her if she were here.

"Don't say that," Marshall replied, feeling doubtful. "I mean, we all know she puts work first. That's kind of how she is. It doesn't make her a shitty friend."

"I agree," Ted chimed in. "By the way, I've been dying to say this. I mean, I just never had the right opportunity to. Did you see how she put her hand on mine last time?"

Marshall fidgeted. Lily raised an eyebrow. Barney subconsciously leaned in.

"When she was having this really childish fight with Barney about something?" Ted said, and Barney leaned away upon hearing his name being mentioned. "Anyway, she put her hand on mine. That has to mean something, right? Guys?"

Ted had sounded so excited that the rest of them nearly felt sorry for him.

"Ted..." Marshall started. He cleared his throat. "Ted," he tried again. "I don't think that meant anything."

"What? That's crazy. Of course that meant something. If it didn't mean anything, then why did she do it?"

"It happened twenty days ago," Marshall said.

"So?"

"Get this: _it happened twenty days ago._" Lily cut in. "You shouldn't be wasting brain storage over-analysing little gestures like this. It just... it makes no sense. It doesn't mean she wants to get back together."

"I'm not jumping to conclusions. I'm not _that _delusional. All I'm saying is-"

"Whoa." Barney interrupted everyone. "Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. Guys. Help me out here. What's going on? Have you guys been having a sneaky little discussion about Robin without me? What?"

"Barney, Ted was talking to us about how he has feelings for Robin, and how he's pretty sure Robin is The One. Which we know isn't true, but... he's been going on about how he wants to get her back." Lily explained, feeling ridiculous at her friend's persistence. Ted casually ignored the part where she mentioned how Robin wasn't The One.

"Don't you think so, Barney? Don't you think that maybe I was meant to be with her after all?"

Barney shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, you guys worked out the first time." He said, feeling dizzy.

"Exactly!" Ted said.

"No, they _didn't_ work out the first time. What are you saying?" Lily argued.

"It's 2 versus 2, Lily. That means I can have a shot at this." Ted replied, excitedly. "Right, Barney?"

Barney made a non-committal sound, which Ted took for a _yes_.

He didn't get it. Was he just going to let Robin go - just like this? Was he not going to try again? The fight and the aftermath of it had been hellish, but the time when they were dating had been fun. He had never experienced anything like it before, simply because he hadn't felt like that before with another person. But he felt it with Robin, and even though he had never been an expert in love, he was pretty sure that was how you were supposed to feel with someone you plan to have a future with. Now Ted was going to get her back, and he knew how Robin had tried to provoke him by using Ted's affections as a weapon. That was a shady move, but he respected it. There was no other way of putting it; she was good at playing the game.

He could sit here and watch Robin fall into Ted's arms, or he could do something.

The former was unlikely - he knew that she simply never saw Ted as a potential relationship partner after they had broken up because they had discussed it before. He had brought it up to see how she would react, and was pleasantly surprised when she told him that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. She had liked Ted romantically when they were dating, but that was long ago. After they had broken up, she had never regretted the decision at all. She thought Ted was better off as a friend.

As for the latter... the latter was tempting. But there were setbacks. He would crush Ted completely if he ever dated Robin again. He knew Ted didn't know they had dated the first time round, but it would crush him all the same. He just couldn't do that to Ted. They were bros. A bro never goes behind another bro's back and do stuff like this. Technically, it won't be stealing because everyone was single and it was fair play. But, still. There are some things you don't do, and this was one of them. Besides, given a reversed situation, Ted would have opted out immediately. Ted was a nice guy and a good friend.

Barney was at crossroads, and he had a very bad feeling about both of the two options. Whatever happened in the end, somebody would be hurt. It was just a matter of _who_.

* * *

**AN: I tend to edit, edit, and over-edit every time I write because I'm so freakishly picky with how it turns out. :P I made a little mistake with the timeline thing previously but fixed it. Thanks SwarklesFan55!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Two hundred and twenty days before**

Thinking Barney was a hundred percent supportive of his plan of getting Robin back, Ted had been setting up 'meetings' in the apartment, trying to get the both of them to brainstorm and think of ways to get the girl. They have been doing the same thing for about five times now, whenever they were free, which was usually after work hours. Ted called them brainstorming sessions and was very active in the hour long gatherings, but Barney was mostly just glad to be there to learn about all the things regarding Robin that he never knew.

After just two sessions, Barney had formulated a plan. He realised he needed to win Robin back, but he needed to make sure he doesn't fail. Which meant he could not be doing anything with half of his heart. He simply could not afford to lose her again. Time was also tight. He didn't know when Ted would ask Robin out, and Barney didn't feel comfortable letting his best buddy do it before him. It was too risky. Sure, they had both missed their first shot, and Robin had said she would never be with Ted because she just felt like they weren't meant to be, but she could always change her mind. She wasn't obligated to turn Ted down for Barney. Barney had no claim on her anymore. At this point, they were both off to a fair start.

"Barney, can you focus?" Ted said impatiently, and Barney snapped out of his daydream again, startled. "I thought you were here to help."

"What?"

"With Robin. I mean, I know you don't know her very well, but I need all the help I can get."

Barney fidgeted when Ted said that, but kept his mouth shut. There was a moral conflict in Barney's head. He knew it was wrong to be hiding something like this and he felt bad, but he didn't want to reveal anything either. He still had not decided whether or not he was going to go through with the plan in the end. He wanted Robin, but he never wanted to hurt either of them. Why did love have to be so difficult, anyway? This was all new to him, and it was turning out to be ruthless.

"Uh," Barney mumbled, and rubbed his eye with his fist. "Sorry. Just feeling a little tired right now."

Ted sighed. "It's fine. Thanks for your help. I know it's not really fair to force you into attending these sessions. It's boring, and I don't blame you. It's just... Lily and Marshall are my best friends and they don't believe in me. And that sucks. I guess I just really wanted someone to be supportive for once."

Barney felt a kick in his gut, and he felt worse. It would have been much easier if Ted was a selfish, inconsiderate jerk. But even at a time like this, he was being nice. _Ted was just naturally this nice, _Barney thought. _Maybe he's the guy Robin needs and deserves. _Some time ago, Barney had realised that maybe he just wasn't good enough for Robin. He had a good heart, but he was sloppy, childish, and bad with feelings. She was kind and funny and warm, and even though she wasn't perfect, and she stumbled at times when it came to relationships, she deserved someone who was responsible and committed when the time was right. She deserved someone who would be there every step of the way without any complaints, and Ted fit every criteria.

Barney could picture it. Ted being a great boyfriend. Ted remembering her birthday. Ted sending flowers on Valentine's Day. Ted conjuring a romantic and intimate proposal, just the way she would have liked it. Ted being a great father and husband, never missing a beat when it came to his responsibilities. Ted being stable and dependable every time she needed him. Ted being everything Barney himself could not be.

The more Barney thought about it, the more he felt inadequate. Sure, he liked Robin a lot. But in the grand scheme of things, he felt like he didn't deserve her. And sometimes he just had to compromise.

"Hey, Ted?"

Ted looked up from his notepad, which had scribbles all over it. "Yeah?"

"I hope you get her."

"Thanks, man." Ted nodded. "I really appreciate you saying this. It means a lot."

"Don't worry about it. She deserves someone great... like you."

"Barney." Ted looked flattered and touched, and Barney felt like perhaps he had done the right thing. "Thanks. I really don't know what to say. You're a great friend."

Barney shrugged.

* * *

**Two hundred and fifteen days before**

Hope had severely diminished, but Barney had not stopped wondering about Robin. He had also not stopped worrying about whether Ted was going to succeed in asking her out. It made him nervous, but he realised suppressing his feelings would be easier than letting them out and making a fool of himself in front of everyone. He had been doing it all his life. Suppressing feelings for a girl would not be that difficult. If he tried hard enough, he would get over her completely. It would take time, but it wasn't entirely impossible.

* * *

**Two hundred and thirteen days before**

"So when are you going to ask her out?" Barney asked, trying to sound as casual as possible as he sipped on a beer back at the bar.

"I don't know," Ted replied. "I mean, I don't want it to seem rushed or anything, you know? I want it to be like, _I've thought about this really carefully, and I've decided that I still have feelings for you_. I don't want it to be hasty."

"You have a point."

"Yeah."

"But you can't just stall, you know. You're good to go."

"I know, but I'm still thinking it through. Working on the details. Trying to make it perfect, because I need it to be perfect." Ted said, and Barney chugged his beer in a gulp.

"You keep waiting and somebody else is going to snatch her up."

* * *

**Two hundred and eight days before**

Robin walked into the bar with a man's arm on her shoulders. Ted's eyes widened, while Barney pretended not to notice as he picked at the free peanuts on the table.

"Hey Marshall," Lily grinned, tugging at Marshall's sleeve. "Look. Robin's got herself a hot guy!"

Marshall turned around to see Robin at the bartender's, ordering something. Carl returned with two glasses of scotch, and the gang tensed - for different reasons - when they approached. Up close, they could see that this man had dark hair and green eyes, and he was definitely very attractive. He seemed friendly, and masculine but not because he was muscular. He was fit, but he was not muscular by any means. It was a different kind of masculine; just an overall vibe he gave off. He had, the gang noticed, a small scar near his collarbone. They could tell why Robin was interested in him.

Robin squeezed in beside Barney and the man went to get a chair to sit at the end of the table. Barney finally looked up, looking nonchalant.

"Hey guys."

"You have some introducing to do," Lily said, glancing at the man and smiling politely.

"Yes," Robin said. "This is Eric." Eric nodded rather shyly as if to say hi. "And Eric, this is Lily and Marshall." She gestured at the both of them and moved on. "And this is Ted, and Barney."

"So... Eric. How did you meet Robin?" Marshall was trying to keep it casual, but it seemed obvious to the gang that he seemed pretty keen on this Eric.

"He works with me... well, kind of." Robin interrupted, her words coming out like a waterfall. "I mean, he got transferred from London. Which is _so cool,_ right? But we work together." She nodded, catching her breath slightly.

"Oh," Marshall nodded knowingly. "That's cool. You're from London?"

Eric opened his mouth to speak, but Robin anxiously interrupted once again. Barney raised an eyebrow and turned to face Ted, who had done the same. Robin had never been like this before. Lily and Marshall were oblivious to how Robin was acting, but it wasn't their fault. They had been the only couple within the gang since Ted and Robin broke up, and they had missed going on double dates. In other words, they were excited to have another couple to hang out with, even if Eric wasn't actually _in_ the gang.

"He's from London, yeah. He grew up there. He's got a really nice accent." Robin grinned.

"When did you transfer here?" Lily asked excitedly, then continued when there was a slight pause. "I mean, not to sound intrusive or anything. We're just really glad you're here."

For the third time, Robin cut him off. "We've only been going out for a week but he got here three weeks ago." Eric nodded, not knowing what else to add despite feeling a duty to respond to the question.

Even Lily and Marshall were starting to notice Robin's strange behaviour. She acted like she was trying too hard, trying to impress; it was something she never did with the gang.

"That sounds great," Marshall said, and turned to Eric. "But maybe you can answer your own questions?" He added politely.

"Oh. Yep... yep. He can." Robin replied immediately, and Barney pursed his lips.

"Robin," Marshall said.

"Sorry. I'm just... it's just - _Eric_," Robin said, putting a hand on his arm, "is a great person, and I don't want to mess it up. So... I just really wanted you guys to like him." Lily's features softened noticeably. "But um, yeah. Eric can speak. Yep. He can. In fact, he's going to, right now. The floor's yours." She prodded Eric anxiously, and he looked at her. "Go on."

"Um, hi everyone. I'm Eric. And..." Eric paused, and gave a soft, warm laugh. He was surprisingly gentle for a man that stood at around 6"3', which made it impossible for Barney and Ted to hate him, as much as they felt like they should, deep down, for landing Robin. His accent was heavy but delightful, as British accents often were to Americans. "Robin's pretty much said everything. But it's great to meet you all."

"It's nice to meet you too," the gang chimed in at different paces.

The rest of the evening went by agonisingly slowly for Barney, and while Lily and Marshall were completely charmed by Eric, leaning in to listen to his funny stories - _yes, he was funny too _- and paying attention, Ted seemed particularly deflated. At around 11pm, Robin eventually stood up to leave with Eric, and it wasn't until they had left that Barney realised he had been holding his breath for a while now.

Barney hadn't been worried about who Robin might end up with until now, and even though Eric's charm had made it impossible for anyone to hate him at all, Barney still felt like Eric had wronged him in some way. He knew he was not about to be outright mean to somebody who had done nothing to him - he would never scoop as low as that - but he still felt uneasy.

Previously, Barney had felt like he had control of the situation. He had known that Robin would not end up with Ted under any circumstances, (one of Ted's plans of asking Robin out involved him saying _I love you_, and having experienced her reaction the first time round, you would have thought he would have known better), and he had been somewhat confident and hopeful when it came to getting over Robin. He thought he had been doing great, but when she had walked into the bar with Eric's arm draped around her, Barney realised he could not do it. He could not stop loving her purely because he was forcing himself to do so. He thought his feelings had vanished, but they had not. Every time Eric looked at Robin and she returned the gaze, Barney felt horrible. _Because he knew that gaze._ They had not experienced a lot together, but he knew that it was the way she used to look at him in the short times they had been together, and it made him want to throw up seeing her do it to someone else.

Barney should've taken a stand before it happened. He should've done something. He knew it. But every time he had wanted to, he had convinced himself otherwise with a million stupid excuses. He had talked himself out of it over and over again, never plucking up the courage to do the right thing. The thing that would make him happy. And now she was with somebody else and he was sitting alone, feeling regretful and sorry, and he knew it was too late for anything to be done.


	4. Chapter 4

**Two hundred days before**

"We _have_ to break them up," Ted declared as Barney sat down at the booth, joining Marshall and Lily. "We need to formulate a plan to break them up."

"What's wrong with you? Why can't you just be happy for them?" Lily responded, annoyed. "Not everything's about you, Ted."

"She doesn't love him," Ted said.

"Oh, come on. You're telling me she doesn't love him? OK, maybe _love_ is not the word to use when it comes to Robin. But you can't deny that she does like him very much. Why would you want to break them up for no good reason?" Lily snapped, trying to level her voice.

"Don't break them up," Marshall agreed. "We're about to invite them to have brunch with us next weekend as double dates. You're not going to screw this up. Brunch is very important to me, Ted."

"_She doesn't love him_," Ted repeated, as though he was presenting a new point. "It's fairly obvious. She likes him, but she doesn't love him."

"And you know this, because?" Lily argued. "Oh wait, you _don't _know it. You don't know this, Ted. I know you're concerned about Robin, and I know you want the best for her. We all do. But you just have to let it go. She's found someone she likes, and it's not you. That's tough to hear, but it's the truth. Maybe they won't work out, maybe they will. Who knows? Besides, I don't think we should be discussing this behind her back in the first place."

The words were meant for Ted, but Barney seemed to have got the message loud and clear. Ted launched into a heated debate again, and a small amount of tension bounced back and forth across the table, but they all went unnoticed as Barney processed those words.

_You just have to let it go. She's found someone she likes, and it's not you. That's tough to hear, but it's the truth._

* * *

**One hundred and ninety-eight days before**

Robin and Eric's relationship were going surprisingly well, and it appeared that Barney and Robin were back to normal as well. Things were still kind of weird between the two, but they had gotten over it; or at least on the surface they seemed to have. They had been friendlier, but nobody in the gang had said anything to tease them for their gradual change in perspectives. No '_I knew it!_'s, no '_I told you so!'_s. They were just relieved that Barney and Robin were no longer hostile to each other.

"Robin?" Eric mumbled as he handed Robin a beer. They were at her apartment, and though she was never the type of person to be into movie nights, he apparently was. He settled on the couch, and she sat up a little straighter. She received the beer with one hand, while making sure the bowl of microwaved popcorn didn't fall with the other.

"What's this we're seeing again?" She asked, genuinely confused. "Is it _Star Wars_? I love _Star Wars_."

"Nope. This film is called _To The Wonder_," Eric said. "I don't like action films one bit. Just hate them. By the way, this is directed by Terrence Malick, who also directed _The Tree Of Life_, another fantastic film. It's got amazing cinematography."

"Oh," she replied, feeling a little nauseous. _Oh no. _'_Amazing cinematography'_ was usually just the polite way to cover up the fact that the film was incredibly boring; she had lived long enough to discover that. She wasn't into things like that. She loved gun-packed action movies, and this was the complete opposite of what she loved. "Sounds interesting."

"It is. It's my favourite film, actually."

"Is it?"

"Yep," Eric said, getting up to retrieve the remote control. He turned the volume up, and then went around the apartment to dim the lights. When he was done, he settled back onto the couch, his eyes fixated on the television screen. "You're going to love it."

"I'm sure I will," she replied, but she already knew that she was going to hate it.

* * *

"Robin, can you please stop checking your phone?"

They were only halfway through the film, but Robin had grown restless, checking her phone every few minutes to make sure she wasn't missing any messages. And she wasn't, because nobody had been texting her in the first place.

"I'm not." Robin said, denying the obvious, despite feeling bad. It was Eric's favourite film. The least she could do, as his girlfriend, was pay attention and not feel the need to check her phone so often just to keep herself awake. She was about to tuck her phone away when it vibrated softly. Eric noticed, and sighed when Robin gave him an apologetic glance.

"It's OK. You can take it."

"Sorry," Robin mumbled, feeling sheepish, before glancing back down at the screen. It was a message from Barney.

**barneystinson: **What's up? You're not at the bar. Weird.

**rscherbatsky: **I'm at home with E, watching a movie called To The Wonder.

**barneystinson: **Oh, cool. How is it?

**rscherbatsky: **To be honest?

Robin pressed _reply_ and tilted her phone slightly away from Eric so he would not see what she was typing. Eric wasn't paying attention to what she was doing either, being entirely absorbed in the film.

**barneystinson: **If you can be.

**rscherbatsky: **Boring as hell.

She could picture him letting out a smug smile, and she smiled at the thought.

**barneystinson: **I bet it's got _amazing cinematography_.

**rscherbatsky: **Are you psychic? That is _exactly_ how E described it. Uncanny.

**barneystinson: **It doesn't matter. You shouldn't be texting in the middle of a movie.

**rscherbatsky: **I can't not text. I'm halfway through it, and it's really, really boring. Just put yourself in my shoes. It's like if someone made you watch _Bridget Jones' Diary _when you are clearly a _Star Wars _person.

**barneystinson: **You have to stop texting and focus. I mean... you're halfway through. Nearly there. Just grit your teeth and pull through.

**rscherbatsky: **I can't. I've tried. It just doesn't make any sense at all. They're just running around in giant fields and kissing a lot and calling it art.

**barneystinson: **Too bad. Just pretend you're interested.

**rscherbatsky: **I'll try to.

**barneystinson: **Good luck.

Robin smiled and put her phone down, and returned to the television. She was completely at loss at what was happening anymore, but she decided not to care anymore. Barney was right. The movie was halfway over. She was too far astray from the plot; it didn't matter. She could just pretend she was intrigued, which was exactly what she did. Every once in a while, Eric would turn to face her and smile, and she would muster a smile in return, as if to tell him that the movie was really good and she was really enjoying it.

Robin decided that Eric's taste in movies were awful. It didn't have an impact on how sweet and funny and caring he was as a person, but if they were to work out in the long run, she would have to sit through many more of these movie nights in the future and say goodbye to action films forever, and the thought of that wounded her internally.

* * *

**One hundred and and ninety days before**

"The gang's all here." Lily announced. "It's been too long since we've had quality time together... what has everyone been up to?"

"Yeah," Ted said. "Today at work, I discovered something interesting. Did anybody else know that the Brooklyn Bridge's construction actually took place for-"

"Yep." Marshall interrupted. "Thanks for the input, Ted. Next?" Ted rolled his eyes.

"Oh, oh! Me." Robin said quickly.

"Yes, Robin?" Marshall turned to face her.

"I might be going to London."

The gang stopped dead in their tracks.

"What?" Barney couldn't help but wonder out loud. "What?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've been offered to take some kind of programme, and it's in London, and Eric really wants me to go because he's based there and he's going as well."

"You're going to London," Lily repeated. "Like, London, England?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's a good opportunity. It could be a big career move. I don't know."

"It is!" Lily responded excitedly. "Man, I wish I was going to England. My job never takes me anywhere."

"For how long?" Barney interrupted, feeling his pulse rise.

"A year? I don't know for sure. I don't have the details with me. I mean, if it works out, I might be there for quite a while."

"Oh, Robin. I'm so happy for you." Lily said, and she meant it.

"Thanks. But really, I haven't decided anything yet."

"When do you have to make the decision?" Ted joined in. As Robin and Eric had gotten closer, Ted had lost hope and gracefully opted out of the game. He said the talks dished out from Lily and Marshall had probably kicked some sense into him, and he was no longer pursuing Robin anymore, a declaration that delighted Barney.

"I have a week." Robin said.

_A week, _Barney thought. _Now how was this going to work out?_

* * *

**One hundred and eighty-eight days before**

**rscherbatsky: **Hey. I know it's late, but I have something to tell you. I've thought about it for a while.

**barneystinson: **Hey. What's up?

**rscherbatsky: **I'm going to take the job.

**barneystinson: **The job?

**rscherbatsky: **Yes. I'm going to London.

**barneystinson: **No.

**rscherbatsky: **Sorry.

**barneystinson: **Don't be. It's going to be a good experience.

**rscherbatsky: **Thanks.

**barneystinson: **Have you told anyone?

**rscherbatsky: **Not yet.

**barneystinson: **Oh. Never mind. You're going to do great. Don't worry.

**rscherbatsky: **Thanks. Night.

**barneystinson: **Night.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for the reviews! They mean a lot and I really appreciate all of them. It's the holidays and I'm idle until the new term starts in September, so being super into fictional worlds is the only thing going on in my life right now. (Sounds kind of sad when typed out, but... you know. There honestly isn't much to do.) Anyway. I hope you liked this chapter. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: _Really_ long chapter ahead. I wrote this at 2am and I was like, on fire. I just kept thinking: _I NEED TO WRITE THIS. I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS MY POOR HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE. I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST. _So I did. I hope you like it!**

* * *

**One hundred and eighty-six days before**

"So... you've told the office and everyone. I can't believe you're really going," Barney said. The gang was at the apartment, buzzing over the news of Robin's departure. Barney was leaning against the fridge while Robin tried to look for ketchup to complement the take-out they had ordered.

"Me neither... it's crazy."

"Yeah." Barney said, and cleared his throat, trying not to sound awkward. "And... he's going with you? Eric, I mean."

"Yeah. He's going back too. They cut short his transfer when he opted to return." She was still fiddling with the cupboards, searching high and low.

"Can I just ask you something, though?"

"Sure."

Barney lingered, not knowing what to say. His throat suddenly felt dry. She turned to face him, and for a moment, he thought she was going to say something to cut him off. But she hesitated, and turned around again.

"Do you love him?"

She didn't turn around, but he could see that she had tensed up. She was expecting the question, but she didn't know he would ask her right there and then, with the gang just outside in the living room, laughing at something on the telly. The gang was completely oblivious to the conversation the two of them were having just a few feet away.

"Barney..."

"_Do you love him?_" He repeated calmly, and she took a deep breath, bringing her hand to her forehead. She closed her eyes. He pressed on. "I just need an answer."

"I'm not- I... don't know." She mumbled. "I don't know."

They stood there in silence until Marshall unexpectedly walked into the kitchen. Barney and Robin jumped, startled. Marshall scanned the room, and told Robin that he just remembered they were actually out of ketchup and he was running to the store to pick a bottle up.

"Oh. Thanks." Robin said, and there was an edge to her voice.

"By the way, stop lingering in the kitchen with your private conversations. Go outside! We're watching reruns of SNL, and it's hilarious," Marshall added, ushering the both of them into the living room before picking up his keys and heading out.

"Thanks, honey!" Lily shouted, without tearing her eyes from the television screen.

The door closed and the lock clicked shut. Barney and Robin settled on opposite ends of the room, trying to pick up on what the gang had been watching, trying to laugh along to the skits. But all of a sudden, everything seemed unfunny. They both had more on their minds to say, but neither of them were making the first move. It was frustrating and unsettling, and Barney watched Robin out of the corner of his eye as he tried to figure out what she meant with her answer.

* * *

**One hundred and eighty-two days before**

"You are _not_ leaving tomorrow!" Lily exclaimed as she paced back and forth in Robin's apartment. She was emotional as the rest of the gang; just more obvious with her feelings. "I'm going to miss you so much. We need to text every two minutes to discuss celebrities, OK? We _need_ to." Lily demanded as she reached out for a hug.

"I will. Of course I will. You're my best friend," Robin responded swiftly, receiving Lily's hug, feeling bittersweet, and wondering if she had made the right decision to go.

"Aw," Lily said, giving Robin a wistful smile as she broke off the hug and folded Robin's blouses neatly, stacking them on the couch. "I'm going to miss you."

Robin kept her head down and packed diligently as the rest of the gang fooled around in her apartment, prodding around and looking at the view outside. After the first round of goodbyes, she had started to doubt her choices. She sounded unsure and reluctant whenever she spoke about London, and even though she had never been sentimental, she felt a pang of sadness about leaving. She didn't know getting out of her comfort zone would be this hard, and she seemed less confident than she was when she announced she was going away. She had had physical challenges from her father throughout her childhood, but she guessed emotional ties were harder to deal with.

A part of her hoped Barney would say something. She hoped he would yell, or talk to her, or confront her in some way. She wanted him to be upset. She wanted to know that this affected him as much as it affected her. She thought that if he still loved her, he would speak up. But he had seemed to show no reaction and he never spoke much. Even though he had asked her whether she loved Eric or not, she guessed he just wanted her to be happy. It was noble of him, and he did seem like the kind of person to want someone else to be happy, even if that meant he had to compromise. Like said, Barney's interior was much softer. He had a good heart, and she knew that. She believed in him, in the same way that she believed that he was over her now, and she had to accept it whether she liked it or not.

Besides, she was seeing Eric. It wasn't fair that she was hung up on somebody else when Eric was standing right there in front of her, being kind and caring and patient.

"Hey, Robin." Ted said, spinning around to face her. Robin looked up. "I can offer to drive you to the airport tomorrow, to send you off and stuff." He said, shrugging. "I mean, we can all go say goodbye. Right, guys?"

Beside Ted, Marshall fidgeted. "Actually... I can't. I have a big case tomorrow and my client had been extremely petty for the past few days. Sorry, Robin."

Robin nodded. "It's OK. Work's important. Go kick some ass tomorrow." She grinned, and turned to face Ted. "Thanks. That's sweet, but Eric's planning on calling a cab. And you guys don't have to come! It's not like I won't ever come back." She mustered a laugh. "You all have to go to work. Sending me off is troubling. If you want to reach me, just text me or something. Don't feel bad."

"It's not troubling. We love you. We _need _to see you off!"

"Lily."

"But-" Lily started to argue, but Robin cut her off.

"It's fine. It really is. No tearing up, OK?" Robin smiled and Lily pouted, defeated.

"Fine." Lily said reluctantly. "But text me tomorrow," she added. Robin nodded.

Barney listened closely, not speaking. He had been quiet for a while, still trying to figure it out. He wondered if he should have said something. If he should have put up a fight. If that would have won her back. But in the end, he kept his mouth shut. The fight they had was stupid, but they both knew that the root of the problem was not the fight. It was their difference in beliefs when it came to work. She was a hard worker and believed that if you were diligent enough, you would be recognised. He didn't enjoy going to work and he didn't like to work hard. She took things seriously. He slacked off. She liked being preoccupied. He hated it.

Barney thought that Robin should have spotted their differences by now. He thought that she probably realised it was better for them to be apart. The bond they had during the road trip was merely a fling. It could never have lasted in the real world. He was keeping his mouth shut because he didn't think he would win her back. He couldn't. He was hung up on her, but she was with someone else now, which clearly meant she was over him. The only thing he could do now was show up at the airport unexpectedly tomorrow, say goodbye and expect nothing at all in return.

* * *

**One hundred and eighty-one days before**

The ride in the taxi was long and boring, as Robin and Eric both realised they didn't have that much in common after all; not enough for them to hold a conversation over an hour anyway. Robin was humming softly as the vehicle pulled up outside the airport.

_Finally, _she thought, slightly dreading the seven hour long flight that would take place later.

They got out of the cab and so did the driver as he helped them retrieve their luggage, which had been secured in the trunk. After paying and thanking him, they wheeled their suitcases into the loud and busy concourse, taking in the whole atmosphere. People of different nationalities were walking in all directions. There were couples holding hands, families ready to depart on a vacation, and plenty of confused tourists trying to find their way out, being easily recognised with their cameras around their necks. Robin pictured herself arriving at Heathrow, being the same confused tourist in a foreign city. Again, she felt bittersweet just thinking about saying goodbye to the city and the gang.

They were hurrying along a path when her phone beeped. She took it out with one hand and her phone was lighting up like fireworks. She smiled when she read texts from Lily, Marshall, and Ted, wishing her a safe trip and an amazing work experience. She replied promptly, thanking everyone for thinking of her, and tucked her phone in her pocket. As she continued walking towards the check-in counters, she wondered whether Barney would send her a message or maybe even call her to say goodbye. She was boarding soon, and she wondered what exactly it was that was holding him back.

Eric placed their luggage on a small conveyer belt for weighing, and they both checked in quickly. They gathered their boarding passes and their passport. The procedure was quick, and soon, they found themselves on their own.

"We'd better get to the boarding area," Eric said as he looked at Robin, and she nodded.

"I guess we should," she said calmly, but her mind was racing. _But I haven't said goodbye to Barney._

They were walking again, and then queuing to get their passports and belongings checked to get to the boarding area. The line was long, and it seemed like it would take a good while before it would be their turn. Robin took her phone out and decided that if Barney wouldn't say goodbye, she at least would. She composed a blank message addressed to Barney, and typed hastily, quickly trying to fit as many words into the message as possible as the line started moving forward. Halfway through the message, her phone started vibrating, and her heart skipped a beat.

_Could it be... _she thought, the corners of her mouth curling up. But her smile faded when she realised it was a text from her phone company regarding her monthly payment.

She continued composing her message, realising she was probably sounding a bit demented right now, being so long-winded and sentimental for no good reason. She stopped halfway and stared at the long but unfinished text, and then sighed. This looked crazy and desperate. And even though she was crazy and desperate, she decided it would be better if he didn't know that. She hit backspace and held her touch on the screen, watching as the words disappeared. Before long, an entire chunk of text had been deleted, leaving with only the first few lines she had started off with.

_Hey, Barney. I'm boarding soon, and I just want to say good bye._ She read quietly to herself, making sure there were no typos. _Hm_, she thought, and quickly typed a bit more of text as she moved along with the line, blocking out all background noises. Beside her, Eric was adjusting his shirt._ Not in the ultra sentimental way, I mean. Just in the 'I'm boarding soon, okay, thanks, cool, peace' way._ She paused. _No._ _Now that just sounds silly. She wasn't sixteen. _She backspaced a few words, and started over. It took her one minute, and she was good to go. She proofread it once more, just in case there were any other mistakes she didn't spot.

_Hey, Barney. I'm boarding soon, and I just want to say good bye. I'm going to be OK, and I know you will be, too. But this is not good bye forever. You're not getting rid of me this easily. I'll be back soon and you'll be sorry you didn't text me good bye first. R_

Robin smiled. That was OK. It sounded light-hearted and funny, which hid the fact that she was really just discouraged and slightly miserable. She hit send, and crossed her fingers as she put her phone in a tray, along with her belongings and took off her shoes to go through the security scan.

* * *

Robin was sitting quietly with Eric at the boarding area, flipping through a magazine she just purchased as he checked his emails once more to make sure the company had not given them any other last minute instructions, while replying to the other mundane ones that concerned work or personal matters. They were boarding in half an hour, and even though her pre-flight jitters had not arrived, she knew they would very soon. Like her mother, she had always been a bit of a nervous flyer.

She was in the middle of reading an article when her phone buzzed, and she stopped reading immediately to reach into her pocket. She took her phone out and glanced it, her eyes filled with anticipation. She practically beamed when she noticed that the message was from Barney. She opened it and started to read.

* * *

"Robin, where are you going? We're boarding in twenty minutes." Eric mumbled, slightly flustered. Generally speaking, he was a patient man, but he was very particular about being on time and not delaying schedules. The sheer thought of anything coming up unexpected made him anxious.

"I just... I'm not feeling very well. I feel a bit sick and I want to throw up. I'll just head to the bathroom for five minutes," Robin murmured, feigning a nauseous look, hoping she was convincing enough. Eric didn't seem very convinced. "Just five minutes. I promise," she added, and he nodded, a look of worry on his face.

"Are you feeling alright?"

Robin nodded, dashed off to the other side of the area to the washroom and locked herself in a cubicle, putting down the toilet seat for her to sit on. She could feel her heart pounding and despite the slightly foul smell covered by the rich scent of air freshener, she took deep breaths to calm herself down. Outside, she could hear people moving about, washing and drying their hands, the sound of cubicle doors becoming unlocked and cosmetic boxes clicking shut. She closed her eyes. She needed a little privacy.

She knew it. She was having a moment of withdrawal. She was keen on her big career move, but she knew there was something amiss. Maybe her fear of flying got in the way, or maybe it was something entirely different. Either way, it didn't matter. She had made the childish decision to lock herself in a toilet cubicle twenty minutes before she was due to board. She opened her eyes, feeling them well up, and she tried her best not to make a sound as she fished for some tissue in her bag. She dabbed her eyes, and took out her phone with her other hand to reread Barney's message.

_Hey, Robin. I'm not really sorry for not texting you first. I mean, you can't exactly blame me. I thought I had gotten rid of you forever, and I was having a celebration of my own with loud music and lots and lots of wine. So much that I couldn't hear my phone buzzing. Anyway... I guess I won't be seeing you in a long while. So I thought I'd just say this. (Because why the hell not? Nothing will ever be as embarrassing as face-to-face confrontation, and I've got that out of the way now. I thank Obama for technology.)_

_I'm sorry we didn't work out. I guess it's kind of stupid to say this, since you're with someone else now - what's his name again? Elliot? Evan? ET? Well, that's not the point - and... you know. You've made the conscious decision to be with someone else, so I know you're over me now. Which is awesome. For you. But not for me. I've not been feeling awesome lately. And let me tell you why: because you're with somebody else. And that's not awesome at all. It sucks. I really liked what we had. It might even have been love. I can't say it could've been true love, because I guess I still don't really believe in true love. But we had fun. And I miss it. And I miss you. And I'm sorry for shouting at you that day and for thinking you were a pain in the ass. I was angry, but I loved you. Even after you stormed out, and even after you decided we were not going to speak again, ever. Even when you started to go out with ET, and even as you are reading this right now._

_God, I'm going to regret this. And I am a little bit drunk. Well, you have a safe trip, OK? Do well. You can do it. You are good enough. I'm rooting for you. Always. And sorry for the long message. I just thought you needed to hear it from me. B_

Given Barney's personality, Robin would never have expected him to give her a long-winded reply. But he did, and now she felt dumb for deleting her thoughtful message. She felt embarrassed and regretful. But above all, she felt touched.


	6. Chapter 6

Robin's thoughts were disturbed when her phone vibrated harshly in her hand. Her screen lit up, and she panicked. It was a text from Eric.

_Robin, where are you? We're boarding in eight minutes._

She paused, and held her breath. She was trying to think logically and clearly, and she was trying to make the best decision for herself. But it wasn't easy.

She felt stupid for thinking it now. For even considering it. Like Barney, Robin didn't believe in true love, and she didn't believe staying would guarantee her a lifetime of happiness. But she did feel touched and relieved when she read the text. She knew opportunities when she saw them, and she did believe that they could try again. Besides, if she were to spend her next year with Eric, she would probably throw up. It seemed like his charm had worn off quickly after a while, and she cringed whenever he talked about his schedule in exact increments, like those extra ten seconds would shatter his world. It just didn't make sense to her, to be this particular about not wasting a single second in life. In a way, she knew it had always been Barney, despite only being together for very long. She just didn't how to express it, and neither did he. So when problems did arise, they were hot-headed and quick to propose a breakup. Maybe she could fix it this time round. She could learn from her mistakes and try again.

On the other hand...

It _was_ a big career move. She would not even have considered moving abroad if it didn't matter so much to her. It was the opportunity she had been waiting for a lifetime, and if this work experience had somehow ended up in her CV, and her CV had ended up in the right hands, she would get promoted quickly. She would finally take off and start climbing the co-operate ladder, instead of always being glued to the bottom few rungs. She could show her dad that she was capable and he might even tell her that he was proud of her, and she would stop feeling like such a failure whenever her career was brought up at dinner tables and family events. From the moment she was told about the job, she knew she was never going to just leave New York City for nothing. In a lot of ways, this was a big deal and she wasn't sure she was ready to end her dream before it even began.

She weighed her options, and she didn't even realise she had been trembling until she clasped her hands together and realised they were stone cold. She clicked a button and her screen lit up. She had five minutes. Five minutes to run back and get ready to board. She would still make it now. Eric would be anxious and slightly annoyed, but she would make it and they would be up in the air in no time.

Her phone vibrated a second time when she received another text from Eric, sounding urgent and peeved.

_Where ARE you?_

Robin tensed, and she realised she didn't really know how to make any grown-up decisions. Growing up, she took up shooting and hunting to help her physically, but her emotional well-being was neglected, and she didn't know what to do. She unlocked the cubicle door and rushed towards the sink, where she leaned into the mirror and inspected her features, hoping to find a clue as to the decision she should make. Should the bathroom be crowded, she would have received odd glares immediately, but it was quiet with few people, and the cleaning lady never quite bothered to look at what Robin was doing.

She took a deep breath and picked up her phone, composing a new message directed to Barney. She was going to make it clear that they wouldn't work so they'd both stop trying, to set them both free. Or she was going to thank him for his kind words, and she was going to tell him how she really feels and hope that he would not have changed his mind by then. She didn't actually know just yet. She was going to see how it unfolds by following her gut this time, and she prayed her intuition would lead her where she truly belonged.

She stared at the screen, trying to figure out what to say to him, when she realised she actually didn't need to say anything more than a single sentence. She mustered all the courage she needed, and her fingers moved frantically on her keyboard. She pressed _send_ before she could even process what had just happened.

* * *

Barney had just stepped outside of the toilet when he heard his phone beep. He shoved a hand in his pocket and took it out. It was a message from Robin, and when he opened it, he realised that it was only a sentence long. But this sentence was enough.

_If you still needed an answer to your question, I have it now - my answer is no._

Barney stared at his phone for a solid amount of time before he figured it out. And then the corners of his lips curled up as he understood. He smiled. And then he beamed.

* * *

**One hundred and eighty days before**

"Oh, Robin." Robin was enveloped in a grateful hug. Beside her sat her best friend. "Oh, Robin." Lily repeated. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Robin responded, feeling uneasy. She was staying at Marshall and Lily's in the meantime as she waited for her luggage to return to New York, a service that costed her a good thirty bucks. She was still racked with guilt and regret when it came to the job, and minutes after the company had realised she bailed five minutes before the flight, she received ten emails from different people, with a single thing in common: they had all gone haywire and flustered, and their emails were full of questions. The softer members of staff were asking her if it was a matter of family emergency, and some even believed it was a miscommunication and offered to reschedule the flight, but others outrightly wondered if she had just 'lost her god-damned mind', giving up on an opportunity like that. "It's just... I feel-"

"I know," Lily said, giving her a knowing nod. And she did know what Robin was feeling, because she has had a similar feeling when she went to San Francisco to pursue her dream of painting and gave up on Marshall. She felt shameful and guilty, and she knew Robin must be feeling similar. "But why didn't you just take the job? You were so excited. It was your dream."

"I know, but I couldn't," Robin said honestly, but not honestly enough to tell Lily about Barney. "I just... couldn't. It was something about leaving that made me feel so bad. My gut was just telling me 'no' over and over again, to which I ignored until I was scheduled to step on the plane in five minutes."

There was silence, and Lily started to chuckle.

"What?"

"But you do realise what this means, right?" Lily smiled warmly. Robin shook her head. She didn't. "I'm proud of you, Robin."

"For what?"

"For listening to your gut, I guess. To be honest, you do focus on your career too much, to the point where it gets a bit concerning," Lily said. Robin opened her mouth to refute her, but was shot down. "No, I'm not done." Lily continued. "You were going to go away for one year! And if you make it, you might stay there forever. Call me selfish, but you can't go forever! I can't even _begin_ to imagine how much we'd all miss you. I know you've said you won't end up spending all your life there, but the thing with jobs is that you always just think you're going to be there for a year, but you end up staying forever. We all just thought you were nuts to do it, because we realised none of us could ever have done something like that." Lily said. "It just sounded so crazy. None of us could ever have just put everything down and walked out so easily."

"It wasn't easy," Robin explained, but she knew Lily was right. Given the same opportunity, none of the gang would have opted to go alone, just like that. "It was still tough, and I realised I didn't like walking away as much as I thought I would..."

"Exactly," Lily said. "You listened to your gut this time round. You realised you didn't like it and you came back."

"It was disappointing of me to have done that."

"It's not disappointing. It's _exciting. _Do you realise what's happening to you right now?" Lily asked. "Never mind. Rhetorical question... you're learning to make decisions that make you truly happy. You're not just doing things so you can work and earn money and be successful. You're becoming another person. A person who doesn't only care about work. A person who puts herself and her needs in front of work. And that's good."

"But work makes me happy!" Robin couldn't help but whine.

"Work makes you happy, but it never gives you the fulfilment you'd get from friends and lovers..." Lily trailed off. "Oh my God! You came back alone. What happened to Eric? Did you manage to at least talk it through with him?"

Robin's eyes widened. She had been so caught up in the midst of things that she had completely forgotten about him. To be fair, he had never contacted her again, so it wasn't like she had constant reminders to think about him from time to time.

"I don't know," Robin said honestly. "Truth to be told... he hasn't said a single word to me since yesterday. I'm starting to think that he's forgotten about me. Or maybe he hates me." Surprisingly, as she said those words, she didn't feel particularly sad.

"That won't happen. You guys are great together." Lily added quickly, worried that she might have hurt Robin's feelings.

"Oh, regarding that..." Robin lowered her head. "We weren't. I meant to tell you all about it, I swear. But I just never got around to saying it. But he's lost his charm. Somehow, I just feel like I don't get him anymore. I feel like I'm inferior when it comes to hanging out with him, because he sounds all posh and he's _really_ smart. _And_ he has a schedule that's divided into six minute segments. He would ask me out for lunch and tell me to meet him at exactly twelve minutes to one. I realised I just couldn't date someone like that and be happy." Now that Robin was being honest but not hurtful, she did feel better about letting it out.

"Oh, that's awful." Lily frowned. "But I'm sorry about that too. I thought you guys would have lasted."

"I thought so, too. For a moment."

"Oh, Robin..."

"But I guess if he hasn't contacted me, not even to yell at me for messing his schedule up, we're probably over."

"You're probably right." Lily said, nodding. "I mean, what kind of boyfriend doesn't call his girlfriend up to yell at her after she bailed on him minutes before an important flight that would lead to an amazing job for the both of them?"

"An ex-boyfriend, probably." Robin muttered, and they both laughed. It felt good, and Robin made a mental note to remember this moment.

"But seriously, what are you going to do now?" Lily asked, concerned. "Are you... _fired_?"

"No! Of course not. I just told them I probably wasn't fit for the job, and they understood... so I still have a career, don't worry."

"Oh. OK. That's great." Lily nodded. "I'm so glad you're home."

"Me too."

* * *

**AN: In response to the guest review, I'm sorry for having a little detour! I never planned for Robin to actually leave the whole time I was figuring out how this fic would go, but as I was writing the last chapter, I definitely got pretty carried away with my ideas and I have to admit that that was irresponsible on my part. Thank you for bringing me back on track! And thank you for the other reviews. As an aspiring writer, I really have a lot to learn. I appreciate all types of feedback and I'm really glad you all helped me spot my bad habit before it had a chance to bloom into something worse. Cheers! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**One hundred and seventy-eight days before**

Robin waited it out for a while before she approached Barney alone. She realised she needed some time to figure things out if she were to confront him, and should they end up together again, she needed to make sure that happened _after _she had collected her thoughts. She still had moments of doubt about rejecting the job offer by straight-up bailing like that, and she was thankful she still had a job. She knew she was a train wreck internally, and she needed to set herself straight before she got involved with anything else.

Did she feel bad about the job? Absolutely. Perhaps she always would. It just wasn't possible for someone like her to suddenly distance herself from her career, especially after that near-miss. But she had thought long and hard about Lily's words, and she felt that her best friend was right. She had indeed stepped forward in a pretty huge way when she decided not to get on the plane, and maybe she was gradually changing. For the better? She wasn't sure. She just knew something was different.

When she had first returned to the bar, she had been greeted by warm hugs and zero judgement from the gang, which was something she was really grateful for. It was as though they understood how hard it had been, so they just decided to distribute a 'no questions asked', even though she hadn't specifically requested one. They listened as she told them about what changed her mind, about how she thought she was probably not fit for the job in the end, omitting the part about Barney, and they all nodded along, trying to empathise and understand.

The problem remaining was Barney. There was a tinge of awkwardness between the two, perhaps a result of the vulnerable sides of them revealed just so soon before. But after serious considerations, Robin was sick of playing games. She knew they both wanted each other, and she didn't understand the point of these aimless interactions where they both would laugh it off and pretend what happened wasn't valid or important, because she knew that was not the case.

She had rejected a dream job for _him, _for God's sake. And if there's one thing to know about Robin Scherbatsky, it's that if she chooses you over her job, it means that she truly cares about you. She was not the type of girl to just put anyone or anything before her career, and it was made known long ago. She had to do something. She figured that if she had just rejected an amazing job just for the two of them to go back to their usual awkward phase and their pointless hang-outs, she might as well be better off dead. She would have to be the first to put an end to that ridiculous, unspoken uneasiness between them. She didn't care if she were to come across as clingy or desperate. After reading his text, nothing could faze her anymore.

And so Robin showed up at Barney's apartment in the afternoon. Standing outside the door, she wondered about how it would turn out. Barney could envelope her in an embrace. They could kiss and make up. Or he could reject her. But for what? She didn't know. And they could fight and break up again, even though strictly speaking, they were already broken up. They could... or he could... or she could...

_Oh, who gives a damn anymore. I'm not here to look pretty. I'm here to get shit done. _Robin thought. She pressed the doorbell thrice.

* * *

**One hundred and seventy-six days before**

"Why do we always end up here? And why do you never turn on the damned water heater?" Robin complained as she opened the bathroom door. The light streamed into the dark corridor. She rubbed the nape of her neck, and exited the bathroom, flattening her tousled hair with one hand. She had a towel wrapped around herself. Behind her, Barney followed, wearing nothing but a bath-robe.

"Because somehow, doing it in cold water is kind of... hot." He said, and chuckled.

So they had done it. Two days ago, Robin had stormed into his apartment the second Barney opened the door, demanding a reason for their hostile behaviour. Barney was shocked, and as usual, he couldn't come up with any. She sighed after her sudden outburst, and he looked wounded as she stood there, impatient and frustrated. And out of nowhere, Barney went up to give Robin a tight embrace. She recoiled at first, trying to break away, wondering what the embrace meant, her brain in a fuzz, but as he held her tighter and refused to let her go, she eventually gave in and let herself weaken in his arms.

They didn't know how to talk through it. They never knew how to deal with things like this. They were good in the beginning, chatty and fiery, and they would lash out at each other in the middle of fights at the top of their lungs, screaming whatever came into their mind first. But when it all blew over, they were often rendered speechless. So in that moment, they just hugged it out. It seemed like the best option. And even though neither offered any explanation, they knew everything that had happened before those few seconds was over. And that from then onwards, they were going to be OK like this.

"No, it's not. It's freezing. It's like skinny dipping in _Antarctica_," she commented, feeling a shudder. "What the damn hell?"

"Watch it, sister sailor mouth."

"I don't care if you don't like my cussing," she mumbled as he gently pinned her against the corridor, fumbling around in the dark.

"_Don't like_ your cussing?" He repeated, sneaking kisses all over her neck. She buried her head in his head of hair. "That's crazy. It's so hot."

"Round Two already?" She murmured. "But we've barely-"

"I've missed you, you know." Barney stopped kissing and muttered. She could feel his warm breath on her neck. She didn't know how to respond. She was feeling flustered, and her heart was beating so fast she thought it might just jump out of her chest at any time.

"Don't be dumb."

Barney seemed to be feeling the same, except his feelings were magnified by a thousand times. He opened his mouth to speak again.

"I'm being serious. I've just missed you, and... it feels _right_, this time round." He said, digging his face into her neck, and she felt her knees turn weak. "What was the fight all about, anyway? It was stupid, and..." he paused, and looked up to look at her in the eye. He was met with a cautious and worried expression. "God, I'm sorry," he gulped, and it was dark, but she could see his Adam's apple shift just ever slightly. "I'm not bringing this up right now. I'm... wow. You know what? It doesn't matter. I understand. We don't have to talk about it." She nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"We don't have to talk about it," she whispered, and she closed her eyes as he planted his lips onto hers once more.

* * *

**One hundred and seventy-five days before**

The gang had returned to normal, and things were picking up pace again. Talks about celebrities, work, pop culture, and their lives were back. Both Barney and Robin had a quick recovery rate - and that might have to do with the fact that they were both self-reliant and independent people who did not believe in being overly sentimental. Sure, they had feelings, but at the end of the day, even though no one else knew about it, they were relieved to be back together. And she wasn't going to lie about it, either. The truth was that things were going pretty great. And for a moment, it seemed like nothing had changed.

* * *

**One hundred and seventy-three days before**

"Have you _heard_?" Robin announced as she stepped into Barney's apartment. She dropped the keys in her bag, removed her coat to put on a hanger and slid out of her shoes. It was nine in the evening, but Barney was home, and she knew that because she had asked him to stay home earlier on that afternoon.

"Heard what?" He asked, standing up straight from leaning against his kitchen counter.

"The Killers are having a concert here in like, three months!" She nearly squealed. She was _that_ excited. But she wasn't the only one who was excited about it.

"You're _kidding_."

Despite both being avid fans of The Killers, they had never been to a concert together, due to their hatred towards each other. Robin had always wanted Lily to come along, and Barney wanted Ted and Marshall to bro-company him, but because none of the rest of the gang had serious interest and the tickets weren't cheap, it had never happened.

"And guess what?" She prodded, a mischievous smile on her face as she raised an eyebrow. "Go on. Guess."

"You're pregnant?" Barney asked casually, and she almost choked.

"What?"

Barney shrugged. "You asked me to guess."

"That's... that's not even relevant to what we are talking about right now," she said. "Well - never mind. You're never going to guess correctly, so I might as well tell you directly."

"I'm listening."

"I've got us _tickets_."

"_No_."

"Yes!" She dug into her bag and fumbled around, until she finally presented two tickets.

"How did you...?" He started, but she cut him off.

"I went online and purchased them the second the concert was announced, which was actually two days ago. And I went to pick them up just now." She said, and she rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you didn't know they announced a tour."

"I was a bit caught up. I didn't notice," he admitted, and he reached out for the tickets. She handed them over, grinning like an idiot, and he inspected them in awe. "You're awesome." He said, and she had a twinkle in her eye. He walked away to retrieve his dictionary from the bookshelf in the corridor.

"What are you doing?" Robin was confused as she watched him flip through the dictionary. He went through the _A_s and the _B_s hurriedly, but slowed his pace during the _C_s, before finally stopping to the page where the word _concert_ was explained. He placed the tickets on the page, allowing half of the rectangle slips of paper to show, and snapped the book shut.

"_Concert_. There. I'm keeping it in a safe place." He said, feeling pleased with himself as he placed the book back on the shelf.

"That's ridiculous. The concert is a hundred days from today. You can't expect me to remember where you've placed the tickets if it's going to be in some weird place like that."

"But I will remember," he said. "How could I not?"

"You'd better. The tickets aren't cheap, and I've been looking forward to this concert for _ages_. I'd positively murder you if you were to misplace them... I'm serious," she added. "I'd have to go to jail for murdering you, but I'm going to do it. I'd rather spend the rest of my life in a cell than have to put up with the fact that I didn't get to see the Killers because some idiot misplaced my tickets." She was trying to be solemn, but she couldn't help but smile.

"Calm down, Scherbatsky. This is why I've just placed them in a _safe_ place." Barney said, and he smirked.

"You are such a weirdo."

"Says the one who's going to murder me over concert tickets."

"_The Killers' _concert tickets, mind you." She corrected him, and they both broke into smiles.


	8. Chapter 8

**One hundred and seventy days before**

"It's nearly two in the morning. Go to sleep." Barney murmured as he placed his fingers on her cheek, caressing her softly. He had asked her if she would like to stay over for the night, and she had agreed, though surprised. They both knew he was not the type to ask someone to stay over if they were actually going to be _sleeping_. But he had done it anyway, and he didn't regret it. She packed a few things in a duffel bag and hurried over, only murmuring something about working again when Lily called again to check in on her.

"I know. I just... I'm sorry." Robin replied, feeling secure under the blankets as she watched his ribcage move up and down steadily. They were finally talking about their stupid, pointless fight. It wasn't like them to open up, but in a way, they were both glad they were going to get past it, once and for all. Plus it was two in the morning, and somehow, they found it easier to be honest about their feelings late at night, when their eyes were too droopy to stay open. There was just something vulnerable and truthful about late night conversations.

"I know you are. I am sorry, too." He said, on the cusp of falling asleep. "And like I've said, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, really." She scooted over, closer to where he was laying. "It's just... I just wanted you to..." She didn't really know how to phrase her words. "I just really needed your support... and... and I guess I just overreacted, but..." She rubbed her eyes, her voice slowly drowning out.

"Shh... There." His voice came out as a whisper. "I do support you. I was just worried. How can anyone not be worried about you? You can be so maddening sometimes."

"I blew it out of proportion." She admitted.

"It doesn't matter," he cooed. "You know it doesn't matter. In the end, nothing matters except that we're beside each other right now."

"It's just-" she whined, keeping her voice low, even though they were the only ones in his apartment.

"Go to sleep, okay?" He cut him off before she had a chance to finish. "I'm serious. You've got to work tomorrow and I know that's important to you." He patted her on the top of her head softly, and ran his fingers through her hair, combing them out of her face as she burrowed closer to him.

"Okay..." she agreed, and looked up to face him. His eyes were closed, and she could tell he was tired from a long day, but she couldn't help but feel like talking to him forever, now that they were alone and being truly intimate. "But I don't always have to work, you know. I happen to have the day off tomorrow."

It was dark, and she was tired too, but just before she had closed her eyes, she was certain she had seen him smile.

* * *

**One hundred and sixty-six days before**

"Barney. We have to go to an aquarium. We have to!" Robin piped up suddenly, causing Barney to nearly spill his morning coffee. She had been hanging out at his place often, and now that they were over their mistakes, they were back and stronger than ever.

"An aquarium?"

"An aquarium," she repeated, her eyes wide like a toddler's reaction to Disney World.

"An aquarium?" He tried again.

"Yes, an aquarium." She rolled her eyes. "What do you think?"

"I think... hmm..." He paused, glancing up at the ceiling for inspiration before turning right back to her. "I'd have to say no."

"Come on! It'd be fun."

"I doubt it."

"We're going."

"Nope. We're not."

"Please." She pouted.

"...Fine." He gave in. "But not today. I'm not free."

"That's fine with me," she blurted, pleased with herself. "How about... tomorrow?"

He raised an eyebrow, as if to say '_seriously?_' and she paused.

"Next week?" She said hopefully.

"Next week's fine." He nodded, checking the calendar on his phone.

"_Yes_. We're going to an aquarium!" She raised her fists in the air, excited.

"Yes, we are." He replied, laughing at her childlike behaviour. She had times like this, when she was suddenly reverted to being a five year old, and he wasn't sure what made her think like that. They had never talked about each other's childhood, but he had decided that whatever caused her spurts of childlike excitement, he wanted to know.

* * *

**One hundred and sixty-three days before**

"Is it aquarium day tomorrow?" had been hanging on the edge of Robin's mouth every time they spoke. Tonight, she was propped up against her bed with her phone in her hand, talking to Barney.

"Nope. Sorry."

"But it's been too long."

"No it hasn't. It's been three days." Barney said, and he chuckled.

"What? No way it's only been three days. It feels like it's been fifty years."

"It's cool that we're talking on the phone." Barney commented, briefly changing the subject. "It just feels... it feels intimate. It's almost like you're whispering into my ear."

Robin smiled, nodded, and closed her eyes, enjoying his voice. She could feel fireworks ignite in her body, reaching out to every nerve ending she never even knew she had. It was weird, to be so far away, but still be so close to each other. It was almost as though she was in his apartment, feeling his heartbeat with her hand on his chest. She finally knew how Ted was used to feeling, and she discovered that all the things Ted had ever said about love making you want to be an idiot was true. She was never one to be mushy over the phone, or anywhere at all. But she felt like this was different, and she was eager to give it a shot because every time he reached out and she let him, it felt good.

"Robin? Are you still here?"

She opened her eyes a little. She had forgotten that they were on the phone, and that he couldn't actually see her nodding.

"I'm right here."

"Good." Barney said. "Why are you so excited to go to an aquarium, anyway?"

"I want to go," she chirped. "I mean... don't you want to go to an aquarium? Back in Canada, it was all about the nature. So I just want to go, and experience it."

"But _why_?"

"Because I've never been," Robin said bluntly, and with the change of tone in her voice, he felt like he had pushed the wrong buttons on her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's fine. I just... I have never been." She said, and she rubbed her forehead, feeling vexed. Even though they were talking over the phone, he could feel her trying to hold back telling him something.

"Well, whatever it is, you can tell me, you know." He prodded, hoping she'd put her guard down.

"It's not important." She responded, feeling a bit horrid for coming off so hostile whenever they came around to discussing her childhood. The truth was, she was damaged. She didn't like talking about it simply because she didn't have anything good to talk about. She didn't feel like her childhood was a noteworthy discussion topic. It felt like everyone else had such great childhoods, with both parents present and constantly being given what they wanted. Her childhood didn't hold a candle to any of those picture perfect ones. She wasn't even allowed to dress the way she wanted without her father complaining about her not being manly enough. It was stupid. She wasn't even a guy. "It doesn't matter."

"But it does," Barney pressed on. "If this is about your dad, then-"

"No." Robin replied firmly, shutting him down.

"Please," Barney pleaded. Normally, he would be happy with a girl being so reluctant to sharing about her childhood. He would be cool with it. He wasn't interested in anybody's life stories. But with Robin, it was different. He knew it was something new. He was patient, and he genuinely wanted to know. Which, he decided, must be the thing that divides Robin from any other random girl. Robin wasn't _any other random girl_. Robin was... Robin, and whatever had happened to her mattered to him. "You have to realise that not everyone's going to hurt you. Not everyone's going to leave you. And not everyone's going to be cruel to you." He was trying to get her to break out of her shell, and she was trying, too, but she just couldn't.

"Look, Barney." She said, and he smiled subconsciously. He liked hearing her say his name. She tried to reason with him. "Thank you for your... whatever it is that you're doing. But I've accepted the fact that my childhood was screwed up, OK? I don't need people reminding me every two seconds. _Why haven't you ever been to an aquarium, Robin? Why didn't you have any dresses when you were small? Why did you go to summer camp with boys every year instead of going to the one you wanted to go to, the girls camp where they painted and made s'mores?_ Frankly, I'm sick of it."

He paused. He wasn't expecting her to be saying any of this. But at least he got her to say _something_. Something that made him know more about the person she was before she moved to New York City. "Sorry."

The line was silent, and Robin felt a pang of regret from using that tone of voice.

"No. I'm sorry. I..."

"I know. I shouldn't have been prying," Barney said, but he wasn't being sarcastic. He knew Robin had a rough childhood, and so did he, so he knew what that felt like. It wasn't easy when the gang tried to get him to open up about his own childhood, so he was definitely not going to force her to do the same before she was ready.

"No... Barney. It's just... it's difficult for me to _want_ _to_ talk about my childhood. Because I just can't seem to get past all the stupid things that have happened to me more than ten years ago. And I don't know why I can't," Robin said. "Plus most of the time, people only want me to talk to them about it so they can feel better about their own childhood," she whispered, and it sent a chill down Barney's spine.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice nearly down to a whisper to match hers. "It's OK. I know how it feels like. Because... guess what? To some degree, we're both as screwed up as each other."

Barney's words were comforting, and Robin couldn't help but smile. "Thanks." She didn't know what else to say.

"It's true. I'm not trying to say it out of random kindness to make you smile. It's just... a fact."

Robin laughed lightly. "Well, you did manage to make me smile."

"If that's the case, I'm glad I was of some use." Barney chuckled softly, and Robin pictured the crinkles beside his eyes, the ones he always had when he smiled.

"OK. I'm sorry for cutting you off, but I've gotta go." Robin said, heaving herself off from her bed. "I have a long day tomorrow. And I can't be staying up like this all the time. My sleeping pattern is so messed up."

"Wow. Another thing we have here that's in common," Barney said. "This is obviously meant to be."

"Stop being such a quick-witted bastard."

"Impossible. I've been a quick-witted bastard for too long. It's ingrown. I've tried to, but I couldn't stop it."

"Well, you've got to try harder." Robin said, walking across the room to where the light switch was. Her hand hovered around it, ready to turn it off as soon as they were done speaking. "I don't want to be falling too hard for that kind of stuff. If you can't stop, I might have to get myself a new boyfriend."

They both paused at the word _boyfriend_, and the way Robin so casually dropped it like it didn't matter that much to her. But it did. It did matter, and it mattered a whole lot to both of them.

"You just called me your boyfriend." Barney whispered, feeling satisfied.

Robin's face flushed, and she tried to hide how happy she was by clearing her throat. "No, I didn't. I just said I had to get a new one. I didn't say that you're currently one."

"I think that was implied."

"I think you're mistaken."

The line was silent for a little while longer, until Robin spoke.

"Look, I really want to stay up all night and chat, but I've got to go." She said. "We'll talk tomorrow, OK?"

"OK, you clingy thing."

"Good night."

"Good night..." Barney responded, and hesitated. "..._girlfriend_." He smiled.

On the other end of the line, Robin smiled, too. She tried not to let this affect her as much as it did, but it was difficult. She made a non-committal 'mhm', and hit 'end call' on her phone before turning out the lights. She then slid into her bed, under the covers, and squeezed her eyes shut, but found herself unable to fall asleep as she felt the butterflies in her stomach go round and round.

_He called me 'girlfriend', _she thought happily, and it was all she could think about until she finally drifted off to sleep out of pure exhaustion half an hour later.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hi! Thank you for your reviews. Sorry for not uploading as often; I currently have about five chapters written down but I always have things to do during the day so I come home exhausted and unmotivated to proofread and upload. I hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

**One hundred and fifty-nine days before**

**NEW TEXT MESSAGE FROM: ROBIN**

**rscherbatsky: **It's aquarium day tomorrow, boyfriend.

* * *

**One hundred and fifty-eight days before**

"I can't believe we're actually here."

Robin gazed in awe at the sharks swimming around them as the two of them stepped into a built-in transparent tunnel.

"Look! Barney, look!" She pointed at one as she grabbed hold of his arm excitedly, trying to get him to be as hyped up as she was. He was relatively calm, but happy to comply to whatever she wanted him to do.

There were crowds of people around them, and the place was filled with the kind of happy chatter only aquariums and theme parks could generate. Barney smiled to himself. He never knew he, of all people, would end up in a bloody aquarium. But he didn't exactly mind. It was nice and peaceful, and it seemed pretty cool. _Anything for Robin_, he thought.

"What if this tunnel breaks and all the water comes in? What if the sharks come in and eat us all?" Barney pondered out loud as they strolled around the place. He was being his usual self, childish and straightforward, but Robin wasn't listening. She was clinging onto his arm affectionately out of subconsciousness, obviously enjoying herself too much to pay attention to anything else. He liked that she was putting her attention and focus on the fish, because that meant he could watch her each and every expression without her noticing. Not in a creepy way. He stared at her in admiration, just happy that they were there together. For some reason, looking at her as she enjoyed herself made it seem like he could see through her, right past all that tough exterior she put up. He appreciated it when she was independent and assertive - he found that incredibly attractive, but he appreciated the softer side of her, too. "Wait," he turned to her, nudging her to get her attention. "You're not on your period, right?" He spoke with a nervous undertone, trying to keep it down as he asked her that stupid question to mess with her.

"Does it _look_ like I'm on my period?" She rolled her eyes, speaking at a normal volume, gesturing at her white coloured shorts with her other hand.

"I don't know," he shrugged, responding honestly. "But you do know that sharks tend to sense the blood and if the tank breaks-"

"People on their periods don't wear white, Barney." She rolled her eyes again. "Except for my mother. She was fearless about that..." She muttered to herself before she realised he was watching her drift away. She snapped back to reality. "Come on! Why are we talking about this?_ God._ We're here, and there's still so much to look at." She declared, dragging him along as she unfolded the directory with another hand. "We've got to see the whales and the... oh, _look_. It's Nemo!"

"_You_ know Nemo?" He asked incredulously, looking at her up and down. Not checking her out. Just giving her an overall glance, wondering why the hell she would be spending her time watching a film about fish swimming around speaking English. It just wasn't like her to be doing that sort of thing. But then again, maybe he was wrong. He still had a lot to learn about her.

"_Everyone_ knows Nemo," she said, and he decided that she probably hasn't seen the film. "Hey," she fumbled through her map as they walked down the air conditioned tunnel. "There's so much more stuff, and they're all just right round the corner. Come on. Walk a little faster."

* * *

Going to the aquarium had sounded like a dread to Barney, and he was not going to lie about the fact that he had thought of excuses to get out of it as the week passed. But as he watched her gaze at the aquatic animals in wonder and delight, he realised that this was probably one of the rare moments he could observe her like this in her happy moments without looking downright creepy. He knew he could always sneak glances at the bar, but it was risky and difficult, and he didn't want to be caught. They were still doing this in private, and every time they hung out, they both had to make up separate excuses to get out of whatever the rest of the gang had planned. It was getting a little obvious, and if the gang were to notice him staring at her, they would definitely know something was going on between them.

Robin pulled him along and around to different tanks, reading out facts about the fish from the posters surrounding them, and checking out maps enthusiastically. In a way, she was like Ted with the Empire State Building. Except she wasn't reciting any facts from memory because she wasn't _that _into fish. Thank goodness. It was nature that just made her incredibly happy. Barney could practically see the excitement coming from her head, like the big exclamation marks cartoon characters in comic books had hovering over their heads whenever something interesting happened.

Barney was still watching her, just sort of in a daze at how beautiful she was. It was weird, how he never noticed all of that. Her olive-green eyes, her tall, straight nose, and the way that the edge of her lips curled up first whenever she smiled. What was weirder was the fact that they used to hate each other. He didn't understand what could have possibly caused him to dislike her back when he still did. It was funny, how someone could be so important to him right now, when they were just another hassle he didn't want to get involved with a while back. The change was new and refreshing, and he could see it in himself too. These days, he didn't want to spend a day without talking to her. Everything that he used to hate was just another excuse for him to call her adorable. It was frightening, but he embraced it, because as scary as it seemed, he was happy.

Robin caught Barney looking at her, and she squeezed his arm. He jumped.

"God, stop staring at me!" She called him out. She tugged at his sleeve, pulling him closer to the giant tanks. "You're being a creep."

"Well, what else can I do? You're more beautiful than the fish," he blurted out, admitting to what he was thinking before he had a chance to filter his words. He flushed. "I mean... you know."

"Bullshit," she cut him off with one word. "Look at this one. It's got purple stripes." She pointed out to the tank, her index finger tracing the fish's tracks. "Do you see it? It's so pretty."

"Yes, yes. I see it..." he responded coolly. "But, nope. You're still prettier and I'd prefer to look at you all day instead, if you don't mind." He offered cheekily as she nudged him in the rib.

"Stop it. We're here to look at fish, not me." She replied, but he could tell she was flattered. She paused. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat."

He nodded, grinning.

* * *

**One hundred and fifty-six days before**

"I'm so glad we're over the stage where you guys fought all day. It seems like _ages_ ago. Whew," Lily announced randomly as she placed her hands on each of Barney and Robin's. They squirmed uncomfortably in response. "_Thanks to me. _So... what's up? The gang hasn't been together as often. Marshall has gotten more responsibilities at work as well, so he can't come..." she paused, and then she frowned in worry. "_God_, we can't be falling apart already."

"No! We're not," Robin reassured Lily quickly. She hated seeing her best friend upset. Robin knew Lily did a lot to keep the gang together, and she didn't like seeing her effort go to waste. Lily nodded.

"I hope not."

"Barney, what's going on lately? You don't come here anymore. You're just... _gone_ all the time." Ted said, looking at Barney meaningfully. The gang could tell there was a hint of sadness in Ted's voice, like he seemed hurt, too, that the gang was slowly falling apart, despite Robin's denial.

"Nothing much," Barney replied automatically. It had been agreed upon Barney and Robin that 'nothing much' would be the thing they would say whenever they were asked the sort of questions the gang always dished out. After all, saying 'nothing much' was easy, and would obviously be less troubling than telling the truth, when the truth was that he had been sleeping with Robin behind everyone's backs, spending nearly all his time with her, doing the typical 'boyfriend-girlfriend' things he used to deem boring and gross. The gang would _not_ take that well.

It was the best excuse, and the best conversation topic switcher.

_'Hey, Barney. What's up?' 'Nothing much. Oh, wait. I banged that chick from that one burger place two weeks ago. It was awesome.'_

_'Hey, Robin. Where have you been lately? Doing anything interesting?' 'You know... nothing much, actually. So... hey, have you heard about Jennifer Aniston's Golden Globes dress? It's so amazing.'_

"Really?" Ted pressed on. "Because you seem to be away from the group _fairly often_. Just saying."

Barney's throat tightened, wondering what Ted knew, and what he meant by that. But he was determined to play it cool.

"Really, bro? _Relax_. I've just been doing my thing." He said smoothly, faking it, the way he used to with girls he would sleep with. '_Barney, are you going to call me tomorrow?' 'Sure.' 'Really?' 'Really. Relax.' _It was convincing enough, and Ted looked satisfied with the answer. Barney loosened up when Ted's persistence wore away. He still got it. He still got the charm in him. Out of the corner of his eye, Barney noticed that Robin had relaxed too, her shoulders dropping just a little from when they were tensed up just moments ago. He was pretty sure no one else had noticed it except him. "I'll go get the next round."

Barney stepped away, and the gang moved on to another topic... the topic of Robin. _God, _Robin thought. _Why does it always have to be me?_

"And what have _you_ been doing?" Lily asked, nudging Robin.

"Nothing much. I mean, work, I guess... I've had a lot to catch up after that... incident," Robin said. In a way, it was true. She did have had a lot to do afterwards, and she did spend a lot of time at work. She was lying by omission, but in a way, she wasn't completely lying. Lily nodded, and Ted peered at her, which made her self aware. "What?"

"You work _way _too hard, Robin." Ted said. "Sometimes I wonder if that's really what you're doing in the office. Maybe you're really just sleeping with everybody." He added it as a joke with a grin, but Robin shuddered at the words, waiting for the moment her cover was going to be blown, waiting for Ted to scream 'AND WE KNOW IT WAS BARNEY! WE GOT YOU!' or Lily to give her a knowing look. But none of those things happened, and seeing there was nothing particularly interesting Robin was volunteering, they got bored.

Barney was still at the counter, talking to Carl about something, and with a glance towards his direction, Lily lowered her voice. Ted and Robin had to lean in to hear what she said next.

"Did you guys notice how Barney's been acting lately? It's a bit weird."

Robin blinked. "What?" She asked. She was getting better at acting like she didn't know anything.

"It's just that... he seems a bit _off_ lately. I don't really know how to describe it. I mean, he hasn't even been talking about picking up girls or going to strip clubs or anything, which is not the Barney we know."

"Oh. That's weird. But it doesn't have to mean anything, does it?" Robin asked.

"But it does!" Lily nodded excitedly at the two of them, and Ted tilted his head, hanging onto every word.

"_I'm _pretty sure it doesn't. Maybe he just has some serious illness or something and he's trying to play it cool with the rest of his life."

"No, Robin... that's- that doesn't even make sense. If he had some terminal illness he'd just start banging everyone because he was going to die soon anyway." Ted said. "So... yes, it does mean something. I knew it," he declared, and Robin wondered what he knew. _Ted knew_? _He knew what? __How much does he know? _"He's totally in love with the girl he met at laser tag." He looked at Lily, and she nodded enthusiastically again.

"_Right? _That's what I meant!"

"What girl?" Robin wondered out loud. The only time they had been to the laser tag arena was... God, she didn't even know anymore. Everything just seemed to be in a blur as the days smudged into each other. They had gone because they knew it was their safe haven - some place the gang knew about, but definitely would not go near. But maybe she had been wrong after all.

"Don't know. Brunette... quite tall. Quite like you, actually." Ted commented, smiling awkwardly, as though he had found something whimsical about it but couldn't place his finger on what exactly it was that made him feel that way.

_Shit, _Robin thought uneasily. _That was definitely me. And they had definitely spotted us._

"Wow, that's strange." Robin commented, trying to fake it. _Come on,_ she thought to herself. _Get your shit together and make it look convincing._ "But it's definitely not me. You know that I'd never go to that place. It's just... it's not me. Plus, with Barney? _Really?_ Did you guys _seriously_ think that I would voluntarily spend time with him? Just because we're OK with each other now doesn't mean I'm _totally smitten with him. _I mean, I'd rather go with..." she paused, struggling with her words, trying to come up with a random name. "I don't know. But I'd never play laser tag with him. Just jot that down in your heads. _Never_." She shook her head, while the gang stared at her overreaction.

"OK," Ted shrugged. "OK. I mean, we never even thought it was you. Calm down."

Robin had overdone it again. She knew it as soon as the words left her lips. But she was so desperate to make it seem like she didn't want anything to do with Barney. She was so embarrassed that at this point, she considered throwing herself down a flight of stairs.

"Good," she said.

"Well... I guess it must be pretty serious if he's bringing her to laser tag and keeping her quiet behind our backs." Lily said, and Robin felt herself smile for a few seconds, before shutting it down and going back to the poker face she had. "If we've all guessed correctly... then, _wow_. I can't believe Barney's finally settling down."

"You were right to have faith in him," Ted said.

"Yeah!" Lily mumbled excitedly, and Robin felt terrible. She prayed the conversation would flow and they would move past it soon. She didn't want to hear her closets friends talking about something they had no idea about. She wanted to at least pull her best friend aside and tell her everything. That it was her with Barney at the laser tag, and that it was Barney that she quit her amazing exchange overseas. But she would rather not risk it. They had come so far now. She would just tell them all when the time was right.

"We _need_ to find out who this girl is," Ted said.

"Absolutely," Lily nodded affirmative, and Robin gulped.


	10. Chapter 10

**One hundred and forty-eight days before**

"I still can't believe they believed you. It was so obvious that you were lying," Barney laughed, pacing the floors of Robin's apartment.

"Barney, it's been more than a week. And... I know I'm not the best actress in the world, but please just get over it already." She feigned annoyance and laughed.

"I feel bad lying to Ted and Marshall because they're my bros. But... yeah. I mean, if I told them, Ted might be butthurt, and Marshall... Marshall'd tell Lily." Barney sounded genuinely troubled, and she knew how he felt, because she was feeling the same things. They have never been sharers, but there was just something upsetting about not being able to tell your closest friends about the good things that have happened to you. It was true that they had each other, but still. Sometimes Robin wanted to tell Lily things. Sometimes she wanted to ask her about relationships and how they worked in general. And she couldn't.

"Not if I tell her first." Robin said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"I mean, if you were planning to tell Ted and Marshall, I'd plan to tell Lily right away too." She said. "She's my best friend."

"Yeah. Makes sense." He nodded. "But you're not going to, right?"

"Not if you don't want me to." She shrugged, before pausing. "What exactly are we waiting for, really? I mean... it was for the thrill at first, that I know, but... now that I think about it - as in, _really_ think about it - what are we waiting for? Why can't we just tell them? Is there a reason for keeping us quiet?"

"Not really," he admitted.

"So why can't we just tell them?" she asked. "I mean, it's hard keeping a secret as huge as this one, day in, day out. Someday my tongue is going to slip and the truth will come tumbling out. Isn't it just better to tell them first before that happens?"

"I just... I think it's kind of hot that we're keeping the relationship like this. Plus, if they knew, they would make a big deal out of it. You know that. And we'd be forced to play charades with Lily and Marshall every Saturday night because they'd make us their double date while Ted moans about being single in the corner of the living room." Barney shuddered at the thought, and so did Robin.

She nodded, and changed the subject as she walked over to the cupboard to get a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. "You don't come here often enough... by the way, do you want the WiFi password? It's, what, the twenty-first century? I can't believe I've never asked. It's-"

"No I just want to spend time with you."

"Wow," Robin said, pleasantly surprised by his response. She raised an eyebrow at him. She was impressed, but she didn't want to seem too much like it. "Barney... that is the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."

* * *

**One hundred and forty-five days before**

"Maybe we should just tell them we're both seeing different people right now," Robin suggested as she leaned into Barney, who was leaning against the headboard. "I mean... I've thought about this for a while. We can't just always make up stupid excuses every time they want to meet up at the bar." Robin trailed her finger on his chest.

"But how are we going to do that? If there's going to be a venn diagram representing the people we know, and the people Lily, Ted, and Marshall know, it would just be an overlapped circle." Barney said, and she nodded. He had a point. Most of the people they knew were also friends of the rest of the gang. It just wasn't plausible._  
_

"Still," she heaved a sigh. "We're running out of excuses. One day they're going to realise that my 'yoga class' is really just us having hot sex in the shower." Barney chuckled, and Robin nudged him in the rib gently. "I'm serious."

"OK, OK..." Barney said, trying to brainstorm. "Since they've already spotted me at laser tag with you - but obviously they don't know that is, in fact, you..." Robin leaned in. "I guess we can just satisfy their curiosity and say that they're right, and that I'm dating someone from work."

"You can't say that," she butted in immediately. "Marshall works with you. He'd know who you're talking about."

"Not really," he said. "I mean, we don't work together _all the time_. We hardly see each other in the building. It's not that hard to get past him."

"But think about it. You can't just utter a random name and have no follow-up whatsoever. Besides, it's too risky. Lily comes around to visit Marshall too often. And maybe she has no intention of trying to dig up your 'girlfriend', but sooner or later she'll realise that that person doesn't exist."

They both laid still, tangled in their thoughts. Barney hummed quietly, trying to think of ideas, and Robin closed her eyes, trying to block everything out, including his hum.

"Why don't we just pretend _you're _the one with the boyfriend?" Barney suggested. Robin opened her eyes quickly.

"No, that won't work, Barney. Because they saw _you_ at laser tag, not me. It'd be easier to build up on that laser tag scenario... I don't want to be lying too much. It's wrong and it makes me feel worse."

"Lying is lying," Barney said. "Personally, I feel like lying a lot and lying a little is the same. You're lying anyway. Might as well just go with it and blow it out of proportion."

"No, it isn't. It's not the same. Just... think about it. It'd be easy. Just admit to it. Tell them you're in love with a girl that you can't stop thinking about, and when they ask you if you guys have been to laser tag, act surprised and ask them how they knew. That'd do it. Please," Robin pleaded, tugging at his arm. "It'd be easy. They'd fall for it, and they won't question it anymore."

"I can't do that. That's..."

"Come on. Please. You're good at this sort of stuff."

"Fine," Barney declared. "Fine. But you need to help me pick a name, and you need to help me decide how she looks like, because right now I cannot imagine spending time with someone else other than you."

"We already know that she's tall and she's a brunette," Robin said, letting his compliment slide past her. "And she kind of looks like me from the back."

"OK. Name?"

"Um..." Robin paused. "What's a really common name? Common enough that people actually overuse it, but not common enough that it sounds fake."

"That made no sense at all," Barney said, burrowing his head into her hair and smelling the scent of her shampoo.

"What I mean is that..." she started to speak, but noticed his eyes were closed when she looked up to face him. "Hey, Barney." She nudged him. "Hey," she said, and he opened his eyes. He leaned away, rubbing his eyes. "You know how 'Ashley's and 'Jennifer's are popular? Something like that. Something people are into right now. Not names that are too overly common they sound like they've come straight out from a _Jane Austen_ book, you know? So no 'Emma's." She said. "And no 'Charlotte's."

"I'm not going to fake-date an Ashley. It just doesn't sound good with my name. Just let me say it out loud and you'd know it sounds wrong. Barney and Ashley... Barney and Ashley," he repeated softly, trying to get the gist of it. "Barney and Ashley... see, it doesn't work. It sounds super weird."

"Barney... Barney and... Jennifer. Barney and Rebecca. Rachel. Olivia. Katherine. Kate. Katie... _n__o_. That doesn't sound right... um, Alison? Ann, Anna, Annie. Allie. Andrea. Audrey. Alexandra..." She scrunched up her nose, frustrated as she tried out different names. "Barney and..."

"Piper," he said suddenly, cutting her off.

"Piper? Where did _that_ come from? I was just going through my list of _A_s."

"You know... _Piper_. It just popped into my head. Since - I was just thinking... Robin is a type of bird, right? So is Piper. So that can be a bit of an inside joke," he explained.

"OK, that's smart." She looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back, and she felt tingly again inside. _God,_ if she was going to have all these crazy feelings pulsing through her veins every time he smiled at her, she was going to die pretty soon.

"So... Piper?"

She nodded. "Piper it is."

* * *

**One hundred and forty-three days before**

"You guys were right," Barney hung his head as he was surrounded by the curious looks on the gang's faces.

"Right about what?" Marshall asked.

"Right about... _laser tag girl,_" Barney uttered, embarrassed to say it out loud, and Lily's eyes widened. Beside Lily, Robin raised an eyebrow at Barney, as if to tell him he was doing a good job so far.

"I knew it!" Lily yelled, and Marshall nudged her gently.

"Baby, use your indoor 'I've just busted a bitch' voice please."

"OK, sorry." Lily responded. "I mean... _I knew it_!" She whispered forcefully. "I knew you were seeing someone special. So who _is_ this mystery girl?"

"Do we get to meet her at some point?" Ted asked. "I mean, sometimes you tell us things and you don't follow through. I'm starting to think that maybe you didn't really date all those 'Karen's and 'Molly's."_  
_

"Of course I did," Barney said, and Robin smiled as she took a sip of beer. He was a natural. And she was trying her best not to give him a pat on the back for being such a great actor. She was thrilled on the inside. But on the outside, she was as cool as can be.

"Great," Lily said. "So what's her name?"

"Piper," Robin filled in immediately, and regretted it the second she said it. Stupid reflexes.

"Interesting..." Marshall commented, turning to face Robin. "You knew."

"It was..." Robin wanted to say 'a wild guess', but Piper wasn't exactly the type of name people thought of at once, out of the blue. And the gang was not a bunch of idiots who believed everything they heard. So she decided to go down a different path. "Barney told me."

"Barney, you told _Robin_, but you didn't tell _me_?" Ted whined. "Why? That's not fair. I'm your good friend. You two don't even get along."

"_Best_ friend," Barney corrected. "I am your best friend, Ted. And, yeah, I told Robin, because I knew she would be able to keep a secret, unlike all of you guys. Plus it's someone from where she works, so I thought she might as well just know it. She promised not to tell until I was ready." He turned to face Robin. "Thanks."

"It's cool," Robin responded, continuing to sip her beer nonchalantly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "What? That girl-"

"_Piper_," Marshall said.

"Right. So _Piper _knows Robin? And Robin knows Piper?"

"That would be correct," Barney said.

At once, everyone turned to face Robin, and she felt helpless as she stared at Barney, trying her best to make her gaze appear as menacing as possible for drawing attention to her.

"Yeah, I guess." Robin shrugged, feeling herself go hot in the face. "It's not a big deal. Barney-"

"What's she like?" Marshall asked. "Her name sounds interesting."

"Ooh, is she pretty?" Lily said. "Is she _prettier than you_?" She paused. "OK, stupid question. Not possible. You're really hot. You're like a 10. But is she prettier than the rest of us combined? Our average is a 7.5." She nodded at Ted and Marshall.

"She _has_ to be pretty." That was Ted. "Barney would want a perfect 10 for himself."

Lily, Ted, and Marshall have seemed to gone into their own little circle of discussion, leaving Barney and Robin quiet, conversing telepathically.

_'I'm going to kill you, Barney. Why is Piper my responsibility now? She is YOUR girlfriend. God.'_

_'You told me I shouldn't say she was from GNB, so I followed your instructions.'_

_'Yeah, well, my instructions didn't exactly say to use me as a scapegoat!'_

_'Damn. Sorry.'_

_'Never mind. It's too late now. What should I say when they ask me what she's like?'_

_'Just make something up.'_

_'Barney!'_

_'I don't know!'_

_'You'd better think of something before I-'_

"Robin?"

The sound of Lily's voice disturbed Robin's conversation with Barney.

"Yeah?"

"So what's she like?"

"She's..." Robin stumbled. She wanted to kick Barney in the face right now. "She's very... you know, she's just... she's OK. You know? She's just like any of us."

"You don't sound very certain..." Ted said, ready to call Barney and Robin out for their web of lies. Robin gulped, eyeing Barney.

"She's very warm," Barney interrupted the flow of things. "And, you know... she's got a great sense of humour. And she's hot." He added. "You're right, Ted. She is a perfect 10." Robin nodded along.

"I'm so surprised that the first word you used to describe her wasn't _hot_. I mean, you still used that word, but well done nonetheless," Lily said, giving Barney a pat on the back.

"I'm just being truthful-"

"Oh, being truthful too. Double well done," Ted chimed in, smiling. "I see that Piper has a good influence on you. And anyone who has a good influence on Barney can probably change the world if they want to. I can't wait to meet this girl."

The gang questioned Barney for about half an hour more, and during that time, Robin was constantly amazed by how fluent Barney was at making stuff up. He didn't stumble or speak in a high pitched voice like she did, and neither did he pause at the wrong times or end up speaking too much. He was a professional; everything that she was not. She didn't understand how he was functioning under the high pressure during the interrogation, but she admired it, the way she admired the people in her magazines when she was a teenager. She was in a daze, and she was charmed.


	11. Chapter 11

**One hundred and forty-two days before**

"You did a good job there," Robin commented the second she walked into Barney's apartment the next morning. He walked over and high-fived her, and she slipped out of her shoes.

"I know, right?"

"Hey, don't get cocky about it." She said, walking across the landing to retrieve a beer from the fridge.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a professional." He said, following her to hug her from behind as she closed the refrigerator door.

"Which makes me wonder if half the stuff you say to me about being in love is even true," Robin laughed. She opened the can with a forceful pull and gave a laugh. She took a sip and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Hey, of course the stuff I say is true." Barney said, feeling slightly defensive. "And your mouth taste like beer."

Robin put the can on the counter and turned to face him. She was smiling as she tugged on his collar. "I know that my mouth tastes like beer... but how do I know you're not lying to me all the time? Maybe you actually have a girlfriend named Piper who's from... oh, I don't know, France or something. Like, a really hot blond one who wears breton shirts and red lipstick and ties her hair up in a ponytail as she cycles around the city on her beautiful red bike."

He laughed. "Well... you got me. I mean, this is why I like to fly to Paris on holidays so much. To get with my mistress behind your back."

"We weren't even..." she paused. "_Dating_ before your constant flights to Paris." She still found that word a bit weird when said aloud. "That was like, what, a year and eight months ago?" She gasped, looking up at him. "Oh no. Maybe _I'm _the mistress."

"Well... I guess you figured me out." Barney smiled, tilting her chin. "You're totally the mistress."

"But it doesn't add up," Robin frowned. "Why would anyone choose me over a hot French woman? I mean... seriously, Barney. I would choose that woman over myself, if I could. Trust me. I would just walk right out of my body and let my soul float to France to mingle."

"God, you're so adorable." Barney commented, brushing her hair with his fingers. "I could just eat you up right now." He mumbled, nibbling on her ear affectionately. She squirmed and laughed.

"That tickles."

"What about this?" He murmured, tracing his lips down to her neck.

"That's better," she sighed, closing her eyes. They fooled around for a minute or two before she stopped him. "But - wait. Can you just be really honest with me about something first?" Her tone had a sense of urgency. He looked up, and she could feel his breath against her cheek.

"Yeah?" He didn't know what to expect. She was still a mystery to him, and that was what he loved the most about her. She was always surprising him, revealing herself in bits and pieces rather than slapping the whole on the table and letting him pour over her like an open book. It was thrilling and refreshing, but it also made him nervous at times. He knew he didn't do anything wrong, but when she was serious, he never could predict what she was about to say next, and suddenly, it was as if everything was on a lifeline.

"You need to be totally serious with me."

"I'm always totally serious with you." He studied her face, trying to look for clues as to where the conversation might head.

"Bullshit."

"I _am_."

"OK. Whatever. Are you..." She started, then shook her head, pursing her lips, as if she couldn't bear to say it out loud. He leaned in earnestly. She tried again. "Am I the mistress right now? Or even just... _a _mistress? I'm serious. Give me an honest answer."

"I... what? _No_. God. No." He replied, his cheeks flushing. He didn't know what else to say, so he just looked at her. Could she not tell he had been joking just now?

But it was as if she had read his mind right there and then, just by looking at his anxiety-ridden expression. She burst out laughing, and kissed him on the cheek playfully.

"Gotcha. You're cute when I catch you stammering like this."

* * *

**One hundred and forty days before**

"Barney, when are we going to meet this girl?" Lily asked Barney as he sat down on the couch. The gang was in the apartment, about to watch a film, and Lily had been bugging Barney the entire time about Piper.

"Soon," he responded, frowning as he watched Ted squatted on the floor, randomly tapping the buttons on the DVD player. "Ted, click that other button."

"What button?" Ted looked back.

"That one there," Barney pointed to a row of buttons. "The red one."

"Oh," Ted said, turning around as he pushed the button and slipped the DVD in. "Thanks."

"Barney, stop trying to change the subject," Lily pressed on, a smile playing on her lips. "When are we going to meet her?"

"Why are you so obsessed with meeting her?" Barney asked, raising an eyebrow. His tactic was to question her until she was out of answers.

"Because," she rolled her eyes, "she's making you a better person! And I need to meet the angel who's doing that. She's saved us all the trouble."

"I'm not being a _better_ _person_. How am I being a better person, really?"

"Yes, you are. You don't even give hot girls a second glance at the bar these days. And I'm guessing that you haven't went home with any of them either."

"And that makes me a better person?"

"Absolutely."

"Well... if I'm a better person now, then that's all that matters. You don't need to meet her. You just need to know that she's making me a better person," Barney concluded, crossing his leg.

"Of course I need to meet her!" Lily said, not giving up. She turned to face Marshall. "Baby, tell Barney that it does matter that we meet this girl!"

Barney and Lily were both looking at Marshall, who had been fiddling with a beer bottle for the past few minutes as everyone waited for Ted to start up the DVD player. Marshall looked up, caught between a good friend and his wife. He didn't know how to respond. In truth, he really didn't have an opinion on this topic. Sure, he wanted to meet Piper as much as the rest of them, but he was fine with Barney being private about her, too.

"Well, I guess we don't _have_ to meet this girl if Barney isn't ready... I mean..." Marshall said, scanning the room as the two pairs of eyes stay fixated on him. He raised his hands in the air, surrendering. "You know what? I refuse to have a standpoint. I guess we can just ask Robin how she's like. They work together."

Across the room, Robin jumped at the sound of her own name. "What? Why are you dragging me into this?" She whined.

Barney and Lily ignored Robin's response.

"Robin, please tell Barney that he should let us know that Piper is actually real by letting us meet her," Lily pleaded, exasperated.

"No, Robin. Tell Lily that Piper is absolutely real but I'm not ready for you guys to meet her," Barney said.

Robin looked at the two of them and sighed. "Look, I don't care what's happening between you and... whats-her-face, but..." She turned to Lily. "I guess they're really just not ready. It can happen sometimes, with people. They can love each other a lot and have lots of great sex but don't want to do it in front of everyone." She paused. "I mean, don't want to do the first part. The part about loving each other in public - some people just aren't ready... and you should definitely _not_ have sex in front of everyone. That's just... weird... and... and, you know, that secret relationship thing..."

Everyone except Ted, who was still fiddling with the DVD player, was staring at Robin with an open mouth, while she looked upwards at the ceiling, as if she were in deep thought.

"It sucks, but it's also wonderful and thrilling at the same time that you kind of wish it stays like that forever." Robin dished out genuinely. "You shouldn't force it, I think. You should just let it happen. Because I know that feeling... and it's not bad. I mean, I feel bad sometimes if I have to really think about it, but generally speaking, I wouldn't say it's bad at all. I would say-"

"Robin, are you OK?" Lily interrupted, genuinely concerned, snapping Robin out of her daze. "You're rambling."

"Yeah. And you're rambling about love." Marshall added, with an equal amount of concern Lily had in the tone of her voice. "This is really weird."

"I'm fine, I just-" Robin started to explain. "It's nothing. Really. I think I just went crazy for a moment."

"Are you sure?" Marshall frowned.

Before Robin could answer, Ted waved everyone over to settle on the couch. They complied, and all talk of Piper dissipated for the next hour and a half as the gang focused on the small television screen. In the silence, Barney and Robin both let out an inward sigh of relief.

* * *

**One hundred and thirty-seven days before**

"They're showing. The cracks are showing." Robin said as she sunk into Barney's couch, feeling exhausted and defeated. She had just returned from a long and hectic day at work. Her partner, an anchorman who usually took the lead on air, had fallen ill and taken a sick day. She was frantic about that already, but to make it worse, he had only emailed her the documents for the day's cover stories twenty minutes before she was supposed to go live. As a result, she had to take care of a whole new segment by herself, stammering awkwardly as she blundered into stories she had done only little research on.

"What cracks?" Barney asked warmly as he offered her a cup of coffee. She waved her hand to say no, and he shrugged and sipped on it himself. He looked up. "On the ceiling? You've noticed them too? I was going to get someone to come over and repaint them... the last paint job was terrible. Wasn't worth the money at all."

"No, Barney." She whined. "Our secret relationship is slowly, I don't know... unraveling itself."

"How is it doing that?" He took a few more big sips. "By the way, this is really good. I got a new coffee machine." He said, gesturing to the brand new machine on the kitchen counter. "You're totally missing out." He extended his arm as if to ask her to take a sip from his cup, but she shook her head.

"I can't. I need to shower and go to sleep right now. Today was so bad. The worst." She said, massaging her neck with one hand. "I feel like I've been to hell and back."

Barney finished the rest of the coffee in one gulp and placed the cup on the counter before walking over to massage her shoulders. He placed his hands on her gently and rubbed in small motions, with a good amount of force.

"Thanks," Robin mumbled as she let out a deep breath. She closed her eyes. "Yep. Right here... this feels good."

"So you were talking about our relationship..." He started, unsure of what to say next. He was still wary of the word 'relationship' and he wanted minimal connection with it, but if she seemed upset... he was going to talk about it and find out why, instead of sitting around like an idiot, trying to figure out what she could possibly have meant. Anything she had to say, he just wanted to know right away.

"Right," Robin opened her eyes, and turned around. Barney retracted his hands. "Barney... OK. Just hear me out." She rubbed her palm along his thigh, and he resisted doing the same to her. He was going to focus on the talk this time.

"I'm listening."

"The gang's going to realise you're lying to them if you don't start bringing Piper around and showing everyone that she does, in fact, exist."

Barney sighed, looking stressed, a grim expression on his face. "I know... it's just... the truth is, _Piper doesn't. _She doesn't exist. I can't just..."

"Yes, you can. You can hire some brunette for... I don't know, half an hour? And we can do quick introductions and then say goodbye. And they won't ever have to see her again. This whole pretending, lying, and 'holding my breath every time they mention your relationship' thing is really wearing me out."

"We can't just find some random brunette..."

"Why not?" Robin asked, putting her hand back on her own lap.

"Because... we just can't."

"That doesn't even make sense. Is it the money you're worried about? I don't think-"

"No, it isn't. It's just... where are we going to find someone who looks like you?"

"Agencies! For aspiring actresses or something. There's bound to be someone in the whole of New York who resembles me at least by a little bit."

"Well, you're not wrong," Barney said. "In fact, I think you're quite right." He stood up and straightened his shirt with his palms, and she looked up at him to maintain eye contact.

"Where are you going?" Robin whimpered, barely having any energy to hold a conversation. She was already looking forward to sleeping after this long day.

Barney looked at her and grinned mischievously, a twinkle in his eye. He pointed at his laptop, which was sitting on the far end of the coffee table the entire time.

"To find this girl."


	12. Chapter 12

**One hundred and thirty-six days before**

"You guys, listen up." Barney said as he sat down on the booth. He was panting, and Robin could tell he had ran all the way here, from... God knows where. The gang quietened down and looked at him expectantly, and she gulped. She knew what he was going to do. They had planned this together. She knew it was going to run smoothly, but being a perfectionist, she was constantly nervous about sudden unexpected happenings.

"I'm..." Barney said, still panting hard, raising a finger to silence everyone. "I just want to say that..."

"Barney, are you alright?" Ted asked. He looked both amused and concerned.

"Yeah," Barney responded, taking a big sip of Lily's beer. Lily looked at him in disdain, but he ignored her gaze. He wiped his mouth with a clean piece of tissue he found lying on the table and cleared his throat. "Right... Um, look." He rubbed his hands together. "Piper... I've talked to her, and she's going to come around sometime this week. Is that OK?"

"Yeah, totally!" Lily squealed barely after Barney finished his sentence, and Ted broke into a wide grin.

"Finally! We're meeting the girl!" Marshall declared, raising his palm towards Robin, asking for a high-five. Robin responded enthusiastically, happy about the gang's positive response and lack of suspicion. It was all going according to plan.

"This is _so_ wonderful!" Lily said, tugging at Barney's sleeve. "I'm so proud of you for talking to her about it."

"Thanks," Barney said, practically peeling Lily's fingers away from him. "Yeah. I did. She's very understanding... so, she'll see you guys sometime this week?"

"_Oh_ _you know it_," Marshall nodded, and Barney slipped Robin a quick wink when Lily moved on to talk about what she should wear when she meets Piper.

* * *

**One hundred and thirty-three days before**

"Have you found her yet?" Robin asked over the phone as she sat in the pantry at work. It was noon, and most of her co-workers had gone out for lunch, except her. She was stuffing a sandwich in her mouth, going through and redrafting her cover stories for the next day while talking to Barney on the phone. Talk about multi-tasking.

"No," Barney said, and she couldn't help but give an inward sigh.

They had been searching for days for the perfect girl, but it seemed like they were short of success. They were biding their time, but they knew they didn't have much longer. The week was nearly half over, and if they were to keep it up, 'Piper' would not be able to go to the bar, and the gang would be even more suspicious than they were in the beginning.

"Then what are we going to do?" Robin asked in between mouthfuls of bread and peanut butter. "I knew it was a bad idea to tell the gang about it before you even found the right girl." She hastily underlined a paragraph of statistics, making a note, and flipped the page.

"I'm sorry," he responded, wiping a sweat from his brow. "Are you free right now?"

"No, absolutely not." Robin said, frowning as she spotted an error on the paper. She stared at the tall pile of paperwork sitting on the side of the table, waiting to be gone through and checked. "I have thousands of pages of work to do. I'm completely swarmed."

"Oh... you're at work? But it's lunch hour... am I on speaker?" Barney asked, raising an eyebrow as he heard faint echoes of his own voice on the receiving end.

"Yeah, yeah you are." She mumbled, circling important details and crossing out all other irrelevant paragraphs.

"Why? Wait, is there anyone listeni-"

"No, no one's here. But I only have two hands and I'm holding a pen in one and a sandwich in the other."

"Oh. OK. That sucks." Barney commented, and Robin nodded quietly. "Anyway, so you're not free... but will you be anytime today? I just thought you could do some online searching as well, to speed up this whole thing. You're more efficient than I am."

"No, I can't. Sorry. It's just... my lunch break is nearly over and I need to get these done by the end of the next hour before I record, and then-"

"It's fine," he said. "I'm looking through some more pages later today and I'll keep you up to date with everything, especially when I find her, OK?"

"OK," she said. "Also, I meant to say that I'll be recording in an hour from now until around 3, so you can text if you don't reach me by calling."

"OK. Love you." Barney said casually. "Bye."

"Yeah," she replied hastily, feeling uneasy about telling him she loved him, even though she did. She put down her pen and unwrapped the rest of her sandwich. "Bye."

The line went dead, and Robin stared at her phone helplessly. She sighed.

* * *

**One hundred and thirty-two days before**

Ted grabbed Barney by the sleeve the second Barney walked into the apartment, and dragged him all the way to the couch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Barney said, shaking his wrist to break free as they sat down. "What is going on, Mosby?"

"A lot, apparently. Just... you know. OK." Ted cleared his throat. "I know it's been a while. And I know it's totally awkward, but I need to talk to you about some... things." Ted said. He sounded unsure, and Barney could hear it from the tone of his voice.

"What? What things? Do you want me to be your wingman again? You know I'm busy with... commitments, Ted. I can't just-"

"No, no. Not that."

"Oh. Um, OK. Then what is it? What's so important that you had to physically drag me all the way from the door to the couch, like I'm unable to walk on my own?"

"I thought I had figured you out two weeks ago," Ted confessed, shrugging. "See... OK, now I know that it's not true, but I just thought..."

"You just thought..."

"That there was something going on between you and Robin."

"Robin and I... _what_?" Barney exclaimed, putting on an act. "No, Ted. No... no. No, no, and no. That's so wrong. That's... crazy. I am seeing somebody. How the hell can I possibly be... oh, I don't know, screwing Robin Scherbatsky? I mean, really. _Her_, of all people? I know we're not fighting anymore, and she's undeniably hot, but... still. Come on."

"OK! Calm down!" Ted exclaimed, going slightly red in the face. "I mean, _right_? I knew I was wrong to assume it. But for a while I just thought you guys had been acting totally weird, like you were hiding something from us. But I think that was partly just me being overly sensitive. You still could've been hiding something, sure, but then I guess the 'thing' you've been hiding was just Piper, all along."

"Oh, yeah." Barney nodded smugly. "Sensitive. That word goes along with you, hand-in-hand. And... well, you're right about that. We just didn't want to talk about Piper in front of you because... well, you know how Lily can be."

"Well, yeah. I agree. But before all of this, I thought Lily knew about you and Robin and was just keeping it quiet from me, but it turned out she was completely oblivious."

"So you told her anyway?" Barney asked, feeling nervous.

"No! No, I didn't. I wanted to, but I also wanted more... _evidence_. Of you and Robin being together or whatever. For the ultimate 'gotcha' moment. But I couldn't find any. And now you're seeing someone else, it's obvious that there's nothing going on between you two, and that there wont' be any 'gotcha' moments going on."

Barney felt a pang of relief internally.

"Well, you know there's never going to be anything going on between the two of us," Barney lied casually, and Ted nodded. "We're totally different."

"Actually, you guys are pretty similar. You are both weird with commitment, like hot people, and are pretty hot yourselves. In another world, you guys would totally have gotten along platonically. Which might be why you'd never worked out romantically. I've been told that this whole thing about 'opposites attract' is pretty accurate."

"Oh, yeah?" Barney asked rhetorically, but Ted responded anyway.

"Absolutely," Ted said. "Well, whatever. I'm not here to talk to you about you and Robin, especially now that I know there's no hanky panky going on between the two of you."

Barney eyed him suspiciously, and Ted rolled his eyes.

"What?" Barney asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know how I talked to you about Robin and... well, _I_? And how Lily and Marshall shut me down immediately after I brought it up ages ago? I was wondering-"

"_No_, Ted! No. God, no. Your brain is atrocious."_  
_

"No, hear me out. I just think now that _she's_ single, and _I'm_ single... and you're seeing someone, and Marshall and Lily are like, bound together forever anyway... why not just have her give us another shot? I'm serious about it. Just keeping this between you and I as bros, what do you think?"

"Just between the two of us, as bros, I think you should let it go, Ted." Barney said, feeling more anxious than he did when Ted had talked about figuring out his so-called 'secret'. The thought of Ted and Robin fooling around made him feel nauseous, even though he knew that wouldn't happen. Still, he was concerned, but he knew he had to play it cool. At least for now. "There's no point in trying to pursue her when you know the two of you want different things in life."

"I know," Ted whined. "But... I can change her mind about what she wants."

"You can't," Barney said. "So don't even try."

"How are you so sure that I can't?"

"Robin's not... she's not the kind of girl you can _persuade_. You can't talk your way into a relationship if you want it to last, Ted. You can't change the person you're apparently so deeply in love with. That's not the way it works. You have to want to be with a person purely because of who they are, not who you want them to be, or who you think they would be really good at being."

"I'm not trying to change her _entirely_. Maybe just a little bit! Maybe she could just... I don't know, marry me, for starters. We don't even have to have kids if she doesn't want to... even though I'm pretty sure she has some really, truly amazing genes that could turn the babies into supermodels. And you know me; I really _do_ want kids. But that's the sacrifice I'm going to make. So if you're going to call me _selfish_, you can just spare your words, because I am absolutely not selfish. At all."

"No, Ted! You're getting this all wrong. What is this you're planning? A contract? And her dating you would be... what, a thirty day Adobe Photoshop trial before she gets to the real deal, which is the wedding? Whatever it is that you're thinking, I'm telling you - it's not going to work out in the long run if you don't accept her for who she is."

Ted straightened up.

"I _do_ accept her for who she is! I accept that she likes to have long hair, I accept that she's very tall, and I accept that she wears pink with orange and lime green, even though the colours totally clash and makes my eyes uncomfortable."

Barney rolled his eyes.

"You're accepting who she is on the outside. And... I don't know, that sounds ridiculous."

"I accept her on the inside, too. I accept it when she says 'literally' all the time, even though she really should be saying 'metaphorically' or 'figuratively' sometimes. And I accept her decision about not wanting to have kids."

"This is... wow. I don't even know why we're having this conversation. It's very clear, Ted. Robin is only going to want to settle down when _she_ wants to do it. You can't force it."

"I'm not forcing it. This is called compromising. In every healthy relationship, two people compromise to fulfil each other's needs."

"It's not called compromising when it's about whether or not you're going to get married! This is going to affect her life in a big way, and you can't just put the blame on her for not wanting to get married because she doesn't want to."

Ted opened his mouth to argue, but Barney cut him off sharply. Barney was irked, and he wasn't afraid of showing it.

"Plus, she isn't your type on so many levels. First of all, you're a nice guy, but you're totally clingy. You want her to be clingy too, but she's independent. You want her to forget about her career, but her career is everything to her. You want kids, but she doesn't. So where does it leave you, really? Your entire romantic relationship was doomed from the start."

"Wait... what? No. Barney! Tell you what. Stop acting like you're some sort of _relationship expert_ when you've never been in a relationship longer than two months. No offence, but I highly doubt you know what true love is... which, for the record, is Robin and I getting together, and eventually getting married. This is the only way I can envision my life going. Seriously, Barney. I'm talking to you as a friend, and you're supposed to be supportive!"

"This is pathetic and you're totally delusional," Barney said, gritting his teeth. "I am being supportive of your life in general, as a friend, by not supporting this giant mistake you're about to make." Barney stated firmly, and Ted frowned, trying to hide his hurt.

"It's not a giant mistake. What's wrong with you? Why don't you just want me to be happy for once? Everyone's always doubting me about finding The One, telling me to call it off, telling me she doesn't exist. But I know she does, because she's Robin freaking Scherbatsky, and I know that if I don't get together with her, I'm going to miss out on the best thing that will ever happen to me in my life - true love. Besides, it's not like you and Robin are ever even going to get together, so it's not like it's going to make you upset if I asked her out and she actually said yes. To put it bluntly, this issue affects your life in _no _way whatsoever."

Barney paused, and Ted looked at him questioningly.

"Well?" Ted asked.

"You're right," Barney replied, defeated. He wanted to tell Ted that he and Robin were _already together, _and that _he_ was right, and that Piper was fictional... but not like this. Barney didn't want to provoke Ted. He had never wanted a big argument, and now they were dangerously close to being in one. He just wanted to leave the apartment and tell Robin everything. She would know how to deal with this. She would figure it out. Because she was the strongest woman Barney had ever come to know, not counting his mother Loretta, who had single-handedly raised her sons on her own.

"Ted, you're right," Barney said, caving in to his best friend's emotions. "I'm no relationship expert. And I do want you to be happy, because you're my best bro and if there's anybody who deserves love for believing in it so whole-heartedly, it's you. It's just... I just wanted you to think it over carefully, because the truth is that there are a lot of differences between the two of you." Barney said, and Ted's facial features softened. "This is not an easy decision to make - it'll heavily affect the both of your lives," he added as an afterthought.

"Thanks for being honest with me, bud." Ted said, and Barney nodded, pursing his lips. Maybe he had finally convinced Ted that he was about to make a big mistake, courting Robin. Maybe he had resolved this on his own.

"You're welcome."

"But I have thought about it, and I know that I'm still going to go through with this." Ted added quietly, and Barney let out a sigh of frustration.

"_Ted_-"

"Trust me, Barney. I have thought about it very carefully. And I know what I want. I want Robin. We're meant to be, and I'm going to get the girl of my dreams no matter how long it takes or how difficult it will be. In the end, everything is going to be fine. Just trust me on this one; that's all I ask of you as a friend."

Barney felt too tired to argue, so he just nodded. Ted, thinking Barney was agreeing to his plans, gave him a tight smile of reassurance. But all Barney could think about was how much he wanted to throw up right there and then, because he knew both Ted and Robin well enough to know how horribly wrong this would all go when the plan was brought to action.


	13. Chapter 13

**One hundred and thirty days before**

Robin burst into Barney's apartment with her phone in her hand and her handbag hanging on her forearm. She tossed the keys onto the coffee table, which landed with a loud _clank, _to which she ignored, and changed into slippers.

"Barney! Have you found the girl? You _never_ called me! And, you know, I was busy with work and everything so I didn't check in with you, which I know is my fault, but-"

"I'm in here!" Barney yelled from what seemed like the bedroom, and Robin sighed. What was he doing at a time like this? The week was nearly over, and if they didn't find anyone soon, he would be screwed. She didn't want that to happen. This entire thing had been stressful enough. She dropped her handbag and her phone on the couch and made her way to where he was.

"What are you doing in there?" Robin asked loudly as she speed-walked through the corridor to the door of his bedroom, which was wide open. She peeked in and found that he was sitting in bed watching TV, relaxing.

"Just watching a really good documentary about some animals. Want to join me?" He asked, patting the empty side of the bed with a hand, but barely glancing over to where she stood.

"Barney!" She scolded, snatching the remote control to turn off the TV. She placed the control back on his bedside table carelessly and it made a loud noise. "What the hell?"

He jumped and looked at her square in the eye, confused and shocked.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Barney... we're running out of time! You still haven't found the girl. I can't believe you've put watching TV as your first priority," she said urgently, and he seemed to have snapped out of his trance.

"No, I haven't." Barney said defensively. The truth was, he had been sitting in bed all day, thinking about everything Ted had said to him. He had turned on the TV for it to act as some background noise to help himself think, then lied about watching some documentary when Robin stormed into his bedroom. He knew he couldn't tell her about Ted's plan. It would just distract her. Or worse, what if Robin thought it was romantic and decided that Ted was better than him after all?

But on the other hand, she had a right to know. Keeping Ted's plan to himself showed how selfish and jealous he was, when Robin had the right to know all along. She had to know because she had to be one step ahead of Ted in order not to fall for his big romantic gestures Barney knew Ted was well equipped with. Barney needed to make sure she was going to be OK, no matter what.

"That was exactly what you were doing!" She said, and rubbed her temples. "God, you can't just do this all the time and expect me to clean up after you!"

"I wasn't doing anything, and I'm not expecting you to clean up after me!" Barney said, feeling more and more defensive. He was trying to help, and she didn't know that she was, and it was frustrating for the both of them.

"Barney, you do realise that we are _one day away_ from being exposed as dirty liars, don't you?" She said, exasperated and exhausted as she sat on the edge of the bed, facing him. "I don't know why you don't think this is important to you, but it is to me."

"I don't know where you got that vibe, because it is important to me, too." Barney said, frowning. "I'm trying."

"_Are you really?_" Robin lashed out, and immediately regretted snapping at him. She knew she had not been able to help with the online search these past few days, and she did feel bad about it, given it's _their_ plan after all, but she had been completely swamped at work. She had been the first one in and last one out, often staying so late that the cleaning lady had to politely ask her to leave the premises so that the cleaning could be done. She felt guilty about leaving Barney alone to deal with this problem, but on the other hand, work was... work. And work was important to her.

"Oh, wow." Barney replied sarcastically, sitting upright against the headboard of the bed. "_Wow_. Really? Are you saying I'm not trying? Because... who was the one redrafting her own cover stories while I searched online for the both of our sake? Oh, that's right. _You_."

Robin was about to argue that she had plenty of real work to do, and that compared to her, all Barney ever does in his office was sit around in the cool air-conditioning, but she held her tongue. After spending time with Barney, they had both matured, slowly but surely. The past Robin would make a scene, and the past Barney would yell out spiteful words even though he knew he would never be able to take them back. But after some time, things fell into its dynamics, and she realised she didn't want to fight because she didn't want to waste time being mad over something trivial.

"_Me_. Yes. It was me. I know. And I'm sorry," Robin broke down. "This week had just been really hard and I... I'm tired of us being on the brink of fighting every time we come to a small disagreement."

Barney scooted over and put an arm around Robin, holding her into him.

"I know, I know." He said, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Beneath his arm, she trembled, but didn't cry. "It's OK."

"No, it isn't." She responded, her voice cracking. "We need to find the girl." She changed her tone. "_And figure this out,_" she said through gritted teeth.

"We will." Barney reassured her, and for the first time in a while, he believed what he said, too. "Somehow, we will. _We always do, remember?_"

* * *

**One hundred and twenty-nine days before**

"Well, where's the girl? You said you'd bring her over _sometime this week_, but the week is over today and we still haven't met her yet." A pause. "Barney, are you lying again?"

Silence.

"Robin, you're not being realistic enough." Barney said.

They were in Barney's apartment, going through the entire scenario, over-analysing everything down to the very last detail. They still have not found the girl, and at this point, they both knew they were not going to find her. It was too late, and they had to head down to the bar when it was time. They knew Barney would be branded a liar, but it was a better option than playing hide and seek with the gang and not showing up. As for now, to make things less awful and embarrassing, they were going to do a trial run first. It was stupid, and it was time consuming, but they had their egos and a secret to protect, and the last thing they needed were questions to throw them off-guard. They had to make sure the whole thing runs smoothly, even if Piper didn't make an appearance.

"I was being very realistic," Robin argued, crossing her arms. She had been standing there for half an hour, dishing out a first line, the line someone would cry out when they arrived, and Barney had been shutting her down time after time. _Not good enough. Not realistic. Lily would never say that. That doesn't sound like something any of them would say. This is wrong. No good. Can we try that again?_ Robin was frustrated.

"No, you were lacking that bit of..." Barney paused, trying to find the right word. "Lily-ness."

"That's crazy. I am _not_." Robin frowned. "How are you so sure it would be Lily to speak first anyway? You don't know how it's going to unfold."

"I just do." Barney said, shaking his head as though Robin was not understanding him, a gesture which only made her more frustrated.

"Well, what do you want me to say?" She snapped.

"I want you to squeal because you, Lily Aldrin, think Piper would walk in with us. Then I want you to feign disappointment when you realise she's not here." Barney said, ignoring her tone.

"That's not _saying_ anything! That's squealing, making faces... what do I_ say_?" She was unwilling to co-operate. She knows he thinks he's so smart. Well, if he's _so smart_, she'll let him figure it all out on his own.

"You say something along the lines of 'where's Piper?' and... you know."

She looked at him like he was an idiot. "Are you kidding? That's what I've been saying all along."

"Yeah, but you've been saying it in a different tone. Just try to be more like Lily."

"Wow. That's very helpful advice."

"Don't give me that attitude," Barney said, barely looking at her as he fiddled with his pocket.

"_I'm _giving_ you_ an attitude? Excuse me?" She had her hands on her hips. He was unbelievable, so maddening sometimes.

He looked at her. "There is the attitude I was talking about."

"I'm sorry, but have you realised the way you've been treating me-"

"We don't have time to argue," he cut her off without a second thought.

"Well, then stop perpetuating an argument." She said, not backing down. "I know I have been snappy and grouchy, but you have been giving me unclear instructions since... _since we started doing this stupid thing_."

"Well, I'm sorry, OK? I'm stressed." He said, lashing out, though still trying to level his voice. "I'm tired. I've done nothing wrong, and you need to stop being so snappy at me like this."

_Right, _she thought. _It's all about you. It's all about you, again. Barney Stinson, at the centre of attention. You're stressed. You're tired. You've done nothing wrong. I'm pushing you. I'm being grouchy. I'm being snappy. I'm being insane. I'm adding fuel to the fire. It's not your fault. It's always mine. Mine, mine, mine. _She bit her tongue. _Patience. We have come a long way. We have matured. We're not going to argue. We're not going to. We're not. We're-_

"I know you're stressed. Don't you know that I am stressed too?" She burst out, raising her voice. They had been testing the waters, on the edge of arguing for the past few days. She knew they hadn't been as stable since the search for Piper begun. The endless searching with no reward left them both tired, helpless, and frustrated. She knew something was going to trigger those bad feelings, and just like that, the two of them will blow up. And she had tried to avoid an argument all along, but here he was, perpetuating one, and suddenly it was tempting to get into one of their infamous full-blown fights, to finally be able to vent.

"_I know you're stressed_," Barney said, finally looking up to meet her eye. "But we need to get rehearsing. The show has to go on."

"_You're never satisfied-_"

"I just need this to be perfect. You don't get it. I need it to be absolutely perfect. I don't want flaws, I don't want people thinking Piper doesn't exist, I don't want people knowing we're dating, I don't want any of that."

"Oh," Robin said, a switch flicked in her mind. "I'm starting to think this has more to do with the fact that we're dating and you not wanting anyone to know."

"What do you mean?" He was exasperated.

"What I mean is that you don't want people to know we're dating because you're somehow... I don't know, _ashamed_ of me. Ashamed of us." Robin accused him. "Could it be this?"

"Robin... that's not true. I don't know why you're bringing this up." She didn't know either.

"Well, then tell me! Tell me it's not true. Tell me you're not... _ashamed_ to be secretly dating. Dating me." The words felt unfamiliar as they left her mouth, and suddenly she was so sure she had done it again. Blown it out of proportion. At this point, she knew she was very bad at dating. It wasn't a debatable topic anymore. It was a cold, hard fact. Robin Scherbatsky was very bad at dating, emotions, arguments.

"I'm not ashamed to be dating you!" Barney yelled, helpless. "For God's sake! I am not ashamed of dating you, OK? I have never been, I am not, and I doubt I'll ever be."

There it was. The explosion. She tried to speak, but she had run out of words. She walked across the landing and put her arms around him. He sighed. He should tell her about Ted now. But, no... he couldn't.

* * *

At the bar, Ted was feeling antsy.

"Where is Barney? Do you think Piper is with him?" Ted asked Marshall and Lily, and they shrugged.

"I don't know," Lily said, even though her shrug had told Ted the same thing already.

"And where's Robin? I mean... she's not here. That's weird. Is she with Barney?" Ted tried to bring it up casually, but it had come across as the opposite of casual. Marshall raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe." That was Lily. "I mean, Piper's a mutual friend, so it's not like that's surprising or anything."

"Well," Marshall said, checking the clock on the wall. "They should be here soon."

Ted nodded, and got up to order another round for the three of them as they waited in anticipation.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the sound of footsteps filled the underground as Barney and Robin shuffled down the steps that led to the bar. Behind them, a third pair of feet in boots followed.


	14. Chapter 14

**One hundred and twenty-nine days before (cont.)**

'Piper' stood next to the booth, beaming as instructed. She had brown hair that went just slightly past her shoulders, and she was an inch shorter than Robin. She had dimples, and straight, white teeth, a tall, straight nose and big doe eyes. She was indeed gorgeous, but in a different way than Robin. Though none of these details mattered in the end as the gang eyed her with delight.

"_Piper!_" Lily practically yelled as she tried to contain her excitement. She stood up to grab a friendly hug, and she received a full embrace. She wasn't surprised. Barney had told her there would be hugs. "I already love you. You give nice hugs, not just the one arm crap these guys give me." Lily said, playfully scrunching her nose up at Barney and Robin, who gave sheepish smiles. It was true. They weren't very good at hugging and all that touchy-feely stuff.

"You're... Lily!" Piper said, turning her beam into a shy smile. "I love your hair," she offered. That had not been part of the script, but Piper made a note to charm everyone, as Barney and Robin had hoped she would. She was clever and quick, and she seemed sincere, too. A rare combination. They knew she meant well, but still. The unscripted compliment threw them off-guard. They needed the gang to like her, but not too much. Not too much that they would get too attached.

"Thanks!" Lily piped, running a finger through her hair, suddenly self-aware and feeling very pleased with herself.

"Hey, Piper. Nice to meet you," Marshall said, extending an arm. He didn't stand up, but he didn't need to. Piper was already settling down casually, making herself at home, as if this was the thing she did often, with these people she hung out with every evening. She shook Marshall's hand.

"Hi, you are..."

Piper was at ease, and she knew what she was doing without Barney's instructions, but she still had a hard time memorising the names she had been given. It had only been a short space of time after all.

"Marshall. Lily's husband." Marshall offered, smiling sincerely. "And that's Ted." He made the job much easier by pointing at Ted, who gave a smile and a nod. Piper returned the smile.

"Marshall," Piper looked at Marshall, as if trying to register his name to match his face. "Ted." She looked at Ted, then turned to Lily. "Lily. Yep. Got it. So... what do you guys like to talk about?"

The noise started like a patch of fireworks, and soon the conversation was up and running like normal, with them asking Piper every detail about her relationship with Barney, what she thought of Barney, why she even _chose_ Barney in the first place, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Barney shook his head and smiled as he observed, thinking... _Y__ep. These are my friends. They know no boundaries. And even if they did, they would still go ahead and cross every single line possible. It's just the way they are._

Beside Barney, Robin took a deep sigh of relief. The gang was liking Piper. They were buying the idea. They were eating it up, and no one had a single clue. She reached out to him under the table and placed her hand onto his, squeezing it once. He returned the gesture to show that they were OK for now, before she pulled away and placed her hands back on her own lap. _Don't blow the cover now._

Robin listened as Lily laughed at something stupid Ted said, and paid attention when Marshall talked about the existence of ET with Piper, who had Barney's arm draped around her. Robin lowered her gaze towards the menu on the table and smiled wistfully. She knew it was all an act, and she should be happy at how wonderfully this was turning out. She was. There was no doubt about it. She was thrilled that this was turning out just perfect. Still. There was something weird about seeing Barney being snug with someone else. She still felt a twinge of jealousy, even if it didn't mean anything.

* * *

**One hundred and twenty-eight days before**

"Well... last night was a good run." Robin said, stretched out on Barney's couch. She was in a dull, grey T-shirt, lying around lazily.

"It was!" Barney said. He was still in a good mood about how well the previous night turned out. She was, too. Just a bit better at not showing any emotion, as always. She wasn't even actively _trying_ to be an emotionless robot. It just occurred naturally. It had always been hard for her to admit that she was actually happy and content with her life because she was so used to flaw-finding.

"But how did you do it? How did you find that girl?" Robin asked. She pulled her legs to her chest to make room for Barney as he settled on his couch with a beer. "We were together _the entire time_ yesterday. There was no way you could have done it... _who was she, anyway_?" It was only now that Robin had realised how little she knew of the situation. In the midst of all things, she had been playing along, smiling, laughing, nodding. But she had no idea who 'Piper' really was the entire time.

"I told you. I'm good at this sort of thing." Barney shrugged.

"But I _yelled at you _before we left for the bar." Robin said, frowning. "And now it turns out you've had a plan all along. That makes me feel bad and like I've wasted so much random energy, shouting at you, and you being shouted at, for no good reason."

"Don't. I mean... it was kind of dumb anyway, the fight."

"Yeah, it was." She nodded, biting her lip, lost in thought. She was confused, still. "But you knew it all along? I mean, you had this plan in your head, and you still... you still fought with me, even though it was so clear that I was wrong about everything?"

Barney gave a small chuckle. "No. No, I didn't. It... happened _after_ the fight, actually."

"That's insane." Robin paused. "Seriously, forget the fight. Just... drop it. With my sincerest apology. What I want to know is _how_ you did it. We were together after the fight, still. And then we headed to the bar in fifteen minutes..." She threw her hands in the air to surrender. "Barney, I'm serious. Don't keep this from me. I could learn a thing or two."

Barney turned to look at Robin square in the eye.

"It's going to sound really weird."

Robin shrugged.

"I'm prepared for whatever it is that you're going to spew out of your mouth," she said jokingly. "I mean..._ being with you_ pretty much equips me with all that bullshit-guard."

"Right, OK." Barney said, rolling his eyes. "Not like you'd _need_ any type of bullshit guard, because everything I say is pretty accurate. But anyway. How I did it." He paused, and she leaned in, eager to know, eager to learn. "So we were fighting, and then we were going to go to the bar without her, right?"

She puffed. "Right, I know that part. _I was there_. Can we just cut to the part where you work the magic?"

"No! Setting the scene is everything... so then we ran out of the house, and it was crazy, your hair was tousled-"

"No details. Just cut to the chase."

"No," he shook his head, "I like details. It makes the story more interesting. And people like interesting stories. So bear with it." Barney licked his lips. "Your hair was tousled, and I was thinking we're totally, totally screwed-"

"I was thinking the same thing!" Robin blurted, and Barney looked at her with an expression that seemed to say, _do you want to hear it or not?_ "Sorry. Carry on," she gave him a wave, a gesture for him to keep talking.

"We were fighting in the lift, you were calling me over-confident and lazy for the billionth time, I snapped at you, I told you you were always complaining, nagging, and you said that wasn't true."

Robin cringed at the memory of the two of them in the elevator, both cross with each other, her hands on her hips, him rubbing his temples, looking like a mess.

"The lift went _ping_ and we stormed out, we flagged a cab, but then you said you had to use the bathroom, so you went upstairs-"

"_Right_. I had to go to the bathroom. So _that_ was when it happened. How could I not have guessed? You asked her to meet us at the bar?" Her eyes lit up.

"No, that's not when it happened. You went to the bathroom, I was talking to the cab driver from the window as I stood on the sidewalk... just small talk, you know, the weather, the crazy week, mineral water-"

"You talk to cab drivers about _mineral water_?" Robin tried not to laugh.

"Unimportant." Barney said, dismissing her laugh. "Then we _got _to the bar... we were right outside, and you said you needed to go to an ATM because you're running low on cash and you wanted to buy everyone a round to drown their sorrows when they learn that Piper is made-up, and I told you you didn't have to do it because I had enough cash on me, but," Barney paused for breath, "you insisted because - well, what can I say? You're an independent woman. So I said okay, and then I bumped into her. Into... _Piper_. She was walking down the street on her own, and it seemed like she didn't have anything to do. So I talked to her and I asked for her help and she said _yeah why not _and I was telling her the whole damn story when you came back." Barney finished the story after having talking in quick jumbles. He exhaled loudly.

"No. No way. You didn't bump into her like that, because when I came back you guys were chatting like old friends." Robin said.

"Well, I have that charm." Barney said, adjusting his collar, feeling pleased with himself. Robin eyed him suspiciously. "And we were chatting- _talking _about what was going on between us. The Piper situation."

"I don't buy it," Robin said, curling further up on the couch. "It's just... it's all too fast. It's not logical. Did you even learn her name?"

"Yeah. Amelia."

"Are you being completely honest with me?" Robin asked. Her tone meant serious business. "I mean... you were just _chatting_... so _casually_. I just assumed you knew her, or you contacted her beforehand, and she agreed to help, and it was all _arranged_, like it was some sort of surprise to get me to stop being mad at you."

"I am being totally honest, I swear." Barney said solemnly. "That was what happened."

"You can't just meet someone and within five minutes act like you've been sitting next to each other on the school bus since primary school." Robin said, feeling weird and skeptical about the situation, despite wanting to trust Barney.

"I told you. I'm like that. That's how I pick up girls. How I _used to _pick up girls." Barney corrected himself, and Robin felt her shoulders relax. He had a point. He had always been good at convincing people. It was just a way he had with words. They slipped off his tongue casually and it seemed unbelievable, but somehow people always wanted to listen. So it was not that unlikely he had found 'Piper' like that. Barney raised an eyebrow, wondering what she was thinking.

"Come on," he nudged her, scooting over closer to where she sat. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I was just..." Robin said, and she shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I mean, you remembered to get that girl - _Amelia's_ number, right? If she's going to be Piper, the gang will be seeing her a lot more often than... I don't know." She turned to face him. "Tell me you got her number... please."

Barney's eyes widened with alarm, and Robin knew that he had forgot to do it.

"No!" She groaned. "_Barney_!"

He buried his face on the side of the couch.

* * *

**One hundred and twenty-six days before**

It had only been three days, but the gang was excited to see Piper again. Barney didn't blame them. Piper had done an impeccable job impressing everyone.

When Barney stepped into the bar, he could spot everyone sitting in their booth, buzzing with excitement. Lily looked up and spotted him, and she waved for him to come over. She was as enthusiastic as ever. He grimaced as though he had been punched in the gut, planning a speech internally.

"Hey... guys." Barney said awkwardly, grabbing a chair from a nearby table. He sat down. "What's up?"

"Barney, we _love_ Piper! I mean, you already know that we do, but I just wanted to say it again." Lily blurted out. "When are we going to see that lovely girl again?"

Barney shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to decide what to say.

"Come on, Barney. Don't keep her all to yourself. She seems really nice," Ted said. "Too good for you, I'd say. But still, she's clearly been making you a better person."

"Actually, she-" Barney began, and the gang stared at him, wide-eyed with anticipation. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell them the truth. They looked too happy. He had to keep lying, for the sake of everyone's innocence. He broke into a grin. "She - we've talked about it, and she thinks you guys are great. She'd love to come stop by again soon."

Under the table, Robin kicked him forcefully, and she locked eyes with him.

_Barney!_

He knitted his eyebrows.

_What?_

She rolled her eyes.

_You need to stop making promises you cannot deliver. We don't have Piper anymore! She is GONE! We won't be able to find her EVER AGAIN._

He gave her a look of reassurance.

_Don't worry. I've got this._

_No, you do not. You do not 'got this'. You are the exact opposite of 'getting this'. You-_

Barney looked away, and Robin tightened her lips, staring at him.

_Barney! Hey! Look at me!_

He looked away, and continued to do so for the rest of the evening. Robin eventually gave up trying, infuriated and stressed. Didn't he understand that this was serious business, and that they could not drag out a lie like this for so long without getting caught? Most people never last a month with their lies, and, sure, they did last a lot longer than _most people_, but at this rate they were going - all the lies they tossed around - she would be dead if the gang ever found out they had been lied to. They'd both be. They were truly, completely, totally, and royally screwed this time round. Why couldn't he just get this and start taking things more seriously?


	15. Chapter 15

**One hundred and twenty-five days before**

Barney and Robin put off finding Piper for a _very_ long time. Longer than the time they've taken to find the girl to play Piper in the first place. Robin was getting busier and busier at work - she could sense a promotion coming - and Barney had been forced to listen to Ted's plans about pursuing Robin still. They barely got to see each other, and even when they did, they were too tired to actually sit down and _talk_.

They were both carrying heavy hearts. Barney knew he had to talk to Robin about Ted as his plans started becoming more and more concrete, and Robin knew she had to talk to Barney about finding Piper soon as the gang was starting to get suspicious about the girl's absence.

"You haven't broken up, have you?" Lily asked one night, genuinely concerned for Barney's wellbeing. "That would be _so_ awful. Seriously, Barney. Don't let this girl get away. Do your job and make sure she stays around." Being the mother of the gang, she was always worried about how everyone was doing. She made sure everyone was alright and she cared a lot. She cared, in the most genuine and old-fashioned way, from the bottom of her heart. That was just who she was, and truth to be told, the rest of the gang _were_ adults, but they never acted like it. They all needed someone to mother and monitor them from time to time, to nag them about their responsibilities, to get them on their feet, and to keep them on their toes. And out of the five of them, Lily always had the strongest sense of discipline.

"Of course not," Barney had responded, feeling confident after having a few shots of whisky. "Why would I break up with Piper?"

Marshall nodded, recognising Barney's point. The gang had agreed - after a heavy discussion behind Barney's back - that he didn't have a reason to break up with someone like Piper. She was smart, well-informed, and knew how to carry herself. She was the face of the modern woman. She also changed Barney for the better, and she was probably the only person with the ability to do that. They were amazed he had the fortune to land someone like her, and they weren't going to split them up for anything. They needed her to stick around.

The problem with Barney and Robin was that despite having matured, they still never liked to talk about their feelings. They would do it when they absolutely had to, but most of the time, with their relationship being a secret kept away from Lily, nobody made them, so they never did. They were always secretly happy when the other person did something special for them, but were never good at showing it either. They just didn't know how to start talking. They knew that if the conversation had started, they would probably be able to carry it. They just didn't know how conversations like this _started_. If there were a guidebook for sitting your partner down and talking through things, they would be flipping the pages quickly, devouring the words like chocolate cake.

These days, they were always having fun - their spontaneous personalities took care of that - but there seemed to be a void between the two of them, a void that could only be filled by talking to each other about all the things they didn't like talking about - their relationship, the Piper situation, and Ted's plan. And to the both of them, leaving that void untouched was much easier than finding the time and energy to fill it.

* * *

**One hundred and twenty-two days before**

"Are we going to find that girl or not?" Robin asked. It was night, and they were both tired from a day at work, especially her, but she decided it would be better not to bring up the fact that she had worked harder than him in the day _again_. She didn't mean to. She just did. She was a powerhouse, and when she got in her zone, she took the office by storm. She wasn't apologetic, but she preferred to keep quiet about it because she knew the very fact irked Barney. Whenever she compared her work-related issues with his, it always seemed like hers was full of glory and success while his was mundane and boring. He felt incompetent, even though he knew it was ridiculous to think that.

Robin knew they hadn't spoken like this for a while, and she hated herself for bringing the Piper situation up so late, but she realised they could not stall this any longer. They had to figure it out and there was no time like the present. So she dished out the question casually, testing the waters, hoping it would be well received on his end.

"I don't know," Barney replied, shrugging as he leaned against the kitchen counter. Lately, he had been big with the phrase _I don't know_. Whenever she asked him something, he would say _I don't know_, shrug, and move on.

_'Where would you like to have lunch, Barney?'_

_'I don't know.'_

_'Do you want to go to the grocery store first, then the post office? I've got some errands to run.'_

_'I don't know.'_

_'Why didn't you answer the phone just now?'_

_'I don't know.'_

She thought it was cute at first, this little habit he had subconsciously acquired, but it quickly rubbed her the wrong way when he refused to give her a definite answer every time she had a question. He stopped making plans, and he stopped giving her confirmation when she needed it, which left her feeling uneasy and unsettled.

"Stop saying that," she responded and pulled a face, annoyed.

"You're so annoyed with me lately," he pointed out, and she thought: _Thank God he didn't say 'I don't know' again. _She was pretty sure she would have started a fight if he had done it again. She shook her head.

"No, I am not. Why would I be annoyed at you?" She asked, trying to sound genuine, but she knew her tone had betrayed her. It was a rhetorical question, and it was obvious that she was, indeed, annoyed. Any five year old would have sensed her tone and told her to stop using her 'mean voice'. She sighed. "Fine. Maybe I am, a little bit. But you need to stop shaking me off like this with your 'I don't know's. Your answers aren't going anywhere and it's getting... frustrating."

Knowing she was right, it was Barney's turn to sigh.

"But the truth is that..._ I don't know_." The words slipped off his tongue before he was aware that they had. _Damn it, _he thought. "No. I didn't mean to-"

"Barney."

She was _really_ annoyed, now that Barney had provoked her like that.

"Calm down and hear me out-"

"What's the matter with you?" she snapped, interrupting him and not even caring that she did.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," he repeated. "I just... I think I've blown it. This is over. I didn't get her number, and now we're... _stranded_ like this, and I feel like it could all have been avoided if I had just been a little smarter."

She detected his indirect apology and she softened.

"It's not your fault," she said quickly. "We're in this together, aren't we? We just need to figure it out."

"I can tell them I broke up with Piper." He offered, but she knew it wasn't a plausible idea.

"You can't break up with her, because she's too... _perfect, _Barney. She's out of everybody's league. Nobody breaks up with people like her. She doesn't get dumped. She's the type of person who dumps other people. They will think you're insane."

Barney didn't seem particularly bothered by that.

"Honestly? She's _not_ out of my league. And why does it matter? I can let them think that. They can think whatever they want."

Robin took a deep breath.

"No, you can't. You can't. It's too unrealistic."

"It isn't. They've seen her, Robin. They know she exists. It would be unrealistic if they've not even see her at all. But now, like I said, they've seen her... it's all going to be OK."

Robin eyed him worryingly.

"I'm at least ninety percent sure you're making a very bad decision right now, and it's my duty to stop you from destroying your own life." She stated, feeling more impatient than annoyed right now. _So that was why they had never talked about anything. _It was impossible trying to get him to think straight.

"What would be 'destroying my own life' would be if you didn't let me 'break up' with her and let this lie drag on until the gang eventually finds out on their own."

"Somehow... I doubt it."

"Robin, trust me. Trust my plan. I'll break up with her, and you'll be angry at me for doing it because Piper's your _friend,_ and it'll be a good show."

"You do know that Piper would not have been my friend if she were to actually exist, right? I'm not very big on female friends," she stated, mocking him. "Except Lily," she added quickly.

Barney ignored her remark. "It doesn't matter. At this point, they'll believe anything. Come on. We got this. You and me."

"_I_," Robin corrected instinctively.

"What?"

'It's not... you and me. It's you and _I_. That's the correct... grammar. I learned that in primary school." She mumbled, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, whatever. Just... make sure you _really_ got this, OK, Barney? I don't want you to be making decisions without actually thinking through them and the consequences they will bring. Right now, I'm telling you - this is a bad idea. This is a _very_ bad idea. If I were you, I'd be very careful with my decision making from here onwards." She was referring to him promising the gang that Piper would make a second appearance, and he was aware of that.

"I do, and I'm aware. I am. I've got this. You need to trust me a little bit more if you want to make us work," Barney said, feeling a bit antsy himself.

"Well, I do trust you. It's just... you do have a reputation of screwing up consecutively, you know," she responded, and he nodded. _True._

"So I'm breaking up with Piper?" He asked hopefully, and her shoulders sank.

"I don't know..." Robin murmured. "It's like... you were together for such a short time that it's kind of crazy for anything to go wrong. The first few weeks are the honeymoon period, and you're supposed to be looking past everything, being totally in love, _then_ discovering all the flaws _later_."

"Like me last week, discovering that you use a push-up bra?" He dished out playfully.

"Barney!" She nudged him, but she was smiling. "I only use push-up bras _sometimes_. When I absolutely have to. Like when I'm..." She paused. "OK, you know what? We're going totally off-topic. _Focus,_ Stinson. Not on my boobs, but on this project."

Barney groaned. "Fine. We'll settle this once and for all, OK? If I can't break up with her, then I'll have to send her away. I'm making her go on a business trip."

"Business trip," Robin echoed. She shrugged. "Fine by me."

"There we go," he said, pleased with himself. "A decision made by the wonderfully awesome Barney Stinson himself." He clasped his hands together. "Now... what were we saying? Ah. Back to your boobs?"

"Nope," Robin said, giving him a mischievous grin. "I'm exhausted, so... none for you tonight, you pervert."

* * *

**One hundred and twenty days before**

Ted's plan was finally falling into place. He hadn't told Barney about it - not the finalised version, at least - and he wasn't sure he should. At first, he was definitely going to, but he had a change of heart as the finishing line drew close. He knew Barney was dating Piper and he should relax, but he could not help but notice all the little details everyone else seemed to be oblivious to - the way Barney's voice was softer when he talked to Robin, or the way he stole glances in her direction as much as she did in his when the gang spent their evenings at the bar.

Ted had thought he had gone crazy at first, but when the softened tones and stolen glances frequented, he was surer and surer that he was not. Sure, Piper was Barney's girlfriend, and, sure, Barney and Robin being romantically linked seemed impossible. But as a hopeless romantic and a touchy-feely person, the things he were noticing were annoying him. He did not just see Barney and Robin as being secretive with whatever they were doing; he felt a sense of betrayal on Barney's part, and was let down with Robin's decision to condone Barney's behaviour when he clearly had a girlfriend that she knew and _worked with_.

Ted felt sneaky and wrong to be second-guessing Barney and Robin's friendship. Maybe he was wrong about everything. Maybe he just wasn't used to the idea of the two of them being friends when they've hated each other all their lives. Maybe things really were that simple - Barney was dating Piper, and Robin was single. And maybe that was all there was to it. At this point, he didn't know what to feel or think, but he knew he didn't like to point fingers when he didn't know the whole story.

In the end, he decided it would just be better off to leave Barney out of his plan completely until he figured out what was going on between the two of them.

* * *

**AN: Hi! I've just settled into my dormitory and lessons are starting soon, so truth to be told, I don't know how frequently I will be updating from here onwards. Because it could go in two (extreme) ways: me having a lot more free time than anticipated and writing very quickly, or me ending up with a thousand things to do and no time to write. *Huffs* Anyway. I'll keep you posted. ****I hope you've enjoyed this chapter + thank you for your reviews on the last chapter! Cheers. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**One hundred and eighteen days before**

"Hey, where's Piper?" Lily asked, impatient that she still had not had a chance to see her again. They were at the apartment, and she had frowned when Barney showed up on his own yet again. "You've been putting this off for _ages_, Barney. Surely she can't be that busy. She does what Robin does." Barney shrugged and settled onto the couch.

"Offense!" Robin shouted from across the room, playing along to Lily's joke. She pulled a face of disdain as she played with the stationery on Ted's desk. "I do a lot of things, Lily. I'm a very busy person."

"Yeah, I know you do," Lily said, turning around to face her. "But honey, you're a workaholic. You practically _live_ in your office. Which is why we don't like to count your existence when we talk about work."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin asked, but she knew Lily was right. She walked over the couch and took a seat beside Barney. She liked being near him, even if she could not touch him.

"It means what it means, I guess."

Ted shook his head, his eyes fixated on Robin, a smile playing on his lips.

"Enough about Piper," Ted blurted, retrieving something from his pocket. "You guys? Here's a thing - I got two tickets from some guys at work to see this new Woody Allen film, and as you can see right here, I am on my own."

"A new Woody Allen film!" Lily echoed excitedly. "Ted, that's great! What's it called? And when is it?"

"It's called..." Ted flipped the tickets around to read the text that was on each one. "Valentine. It's called Valentine. It's tomorrow, actually, at 5pm. Sorry for the late notice."

"Tomorrow?" Lily whined, looking at Marshall, then back at Ted. "Sorry, buddy. You're on your own here. Marshall and I have plans to get dinner with a couple of his lawyer friends tomorrow. So we're out."

"That's fine," Ted said casually, playing it cool. He knew they were busy. He had specifically bought 5pm tickets knowing they would be busy, actually. He wasn't really inviting Marshall and Lily. If he were, he would have bought _three_ tickets on his way home just now, instead of two. But no. He had picked up two. "I've only got one extra ticket anyway. Barney?" He looked at Barney, who tensed up.

Barney clicked, and he knew what was going on at once. Ted was trying to get Robin to go with him to see a romantic movie. _Of course._ And then they would have dinner later and he would act on his big romantic gesture. _How could he not have known?_

"I... I uh..." Barney mumbled, going through his mental calendar. _5pm, 5pm, 5pm... _He had a meeting at 5pm. An important one. One he could not miss. _Damn it. _But surely he could rearrange it if he tried. And boy was he going to try. "I think-"

"I'm free!" Robin declared, taking up the offer before it was gone. Barney panicked. She was as unaware of the situation as she could possibly be. "5pm, right?"

Ted's eyes lit up, and he grinned. "Yeah, 5pm! So... yeah, 5pm. _Yes._"

"Cool," she said. "Free movie trip. Thanks, Ted." She smiled at him, and he shrugged as if to say _no problem_.

Barney frowned, but Robin had walked over to where Ted sat in the armchair to talk to him about the next day. She was so fixated on the tickets, she didn't notice his expression at all. He should have told her about Ted's motives way before he started planning anything. He should have. It just felt weird to pull her aside and talk to her now. He knew Robin wouldn't do anything with Ted because she obviously viewed them as friends and nothing more, but Barney was angry at himself for letting her walk right into Ted's arms, oblivious of anything at all.

* * *

**One hundred and seventeen days before**

**rscherbatsky: **Hey Barney, I'm at the cinema and my phone will be off for the next two and a half hours, so if you need to reach me, you're screwed because you won't be able to! Just keep calm and hit someone else up... like Piper, maybe! OK... sorry. That wasn't funny. Anyway, cool. Catch you later!

* * *

The air was refreshing when they stepped out of the cinema, and by now, the sky had turned dark, the last moments of the day drained away. They took a few moments to adjust to the change in lighting, and Robin was awestruck by the film they had just seen, still trying to process everything that had happened.

"The movie was _so_ good!" She exclaimed. "I've never been that big of a fan of Woody Allen, but this one blew my mind... your friends are so great. Tell them thanks, for the tickets."

"It's cool," Ted said, dismissing her gently. He checked his watch and looked up at her. "Hey, you hungry?"

She nodded. "A little, yeah."

"Awesome," he responded, sounding slightly too excited. He hoped she didn't detect that hint of over-eagerness in his voice, and it seemed like she hadn't. "Well I know this place that has really good fish and chips. It's just five minutes from here. It's really nice. It's got a little bit of that British pub feeling." He said, pointing to his right, at the sidewalk that seemed to stretch on forever.

"I didn't know you knew the area this well," she commented, and again, he shrugged. He didn't tell her he had spent last night searching the Internet for the best restaurant around the area. She didn't need to know that.

"I come here sometimes, I guess."

She looked surprised. "Really? It's quite... far from where you normally hover around."

He raised an eyebrow, amused. "How do you know where I hover around?"

"Just a hunch."

"Well... yeah. Just sometimes, though. I only come here sometimes," he added, in case she asked him for directions. He didn't know the area _that_ well. Just enough to make the night interesting for the both of them.

"I see. Well, yeah. That sounds great. Anyway, I'm already salivating." She said, laughing, and he thought she had the sweetest laugh. "Let's go."

They turned right and strolled down the sidewalk. She pulled her coat around her tighter as she felt a chill, and Ted looked over at her.

_This is what life is supposed to be,_ he thought to himself. _This is the girl I'm supposed to be with, and everything is going to be alright._

They arrived at the small, cosy pub and he pushed the heavy doors in. There was music playing - swing, he thought - and there was the usual busy chatter as everybody mingled with each other.

"Wow, this place is great." Robin said, stunned by the amount of people in the pub. Truth to be told, she wasn't expecting such a large crowd. There were more people in here than there were in MacLaren's, and she knew their bar wasn't a big one, but it wasn't small either.

"Yeah, you want a beer?" Ted raised his voice to be heard, and Robin nodded.

"I'll go get a seat," she said, turning away as he tried to get past the crowd of regulars to where the bartender stood. It took him a while, but eventually, he returned with two beers, one in each hand, and they settled down, blending in right away with everyone else.

* * *

Robin had only realised that she had forgotten to turn on her phone when she noticed it had been sitting quietly in her pocket all evening without making a sound. Her phone usually never stopped buzzing, so this was all new for her. She wanted to have a peek at it, to see if there was anything she missed, but seeing as Ted was so enthusiastic and engaged in their outing, she felt rude to be taking her phone out like that, tapping away obnoxiously, right in front of him. So she let it stay where it was and decided not to think about it.

It was getting late, and she was in a cab with him. He had offered to drop her off to make sure she'd return safely - the typical kind of thing he did. Even though she had told him she would be alright, he insisted until she eventually gave in. It was nice to be out so late, speeding across the world's most breathtaking city, and she gazed out of the window in awe the whole time, barely uttering a word as he tried to make small talk.

The cab stopped in front of her apartment and she got out swiftly, ready to tuck her head back in through the open window to tell him good night when she heard the loud slam of the vehicle door. He had paid, and exited, too, and was making his way towards her.

"Oh, no. You don't have to do this," Robin said, shaking her head. "It's fine. I'm fine, really." She would have been freaked out had anybody tried to walk her upstairs, but it was Ted, and she had known him long enough to know how he operated. It was in his nature to go all the way when it came to being polite. Even after they had broken up, he was still always on the run, doing things for her without her telling him to. She didn't try to take advantage of him, but sometimes it just happened without her realising it. She'd feel bad, and he'd tell her it was alright, because in his book, everything Robin did was good. She felt that she could murder someone and he would tell her she had done the right thing.

In a way, Robin always thought Ted would have made a good boyfriend, husband, and father. Just not to her, and just not to her children. In the end, they just didn't work out because they didn't match. But she knew that to somebody else, Ted would have been quite the catch, and that person would have been very lucky to have landed him. She had that soft spot for him, even though she knew they were fundamentally unfit for each other and wasn't trying to pursue it anymore.

Besides, she had Barney now, and she felt lucky to have found someone like him. She never believed in a 'perfect fit', and she didn't believe in soulmates like Ted did. But in the end, she realised that Barney came pretty close to being both. She didn't need anyone else.

"It's just a few steps," Ted said, shrugging, being the Nice Guy.

She looked at him with uncertainty as she stuck a hand in her bag and fished for the keys to the front door. She knew they were both tired. "Exactly. It's just a few steps."

"Come on," he said, joining her at the sidewalk as the cab drove off. "The cab's driven off already anyway."

"Well," she said, still unaware of his motives as she walked up the steps that led to the front door. "I guess that's fine. But really," she stuck the key into the lock and turned. "You don't have to do this anymore. I'm not a child." She pushed the door open and let them in.

"It's nice to be nice," Ted said, entering, then closing the door behind them and watching its bolt slam shut on its own. They climbed up the few flight of stairs in silence and arrived at her doorstep. "I mean, it's a bit like a tradition now. If I send you to your doorstep, I have to walk you up as well."

"Right," she declared as she fiddled with her keys. "Still." She said, not knowing what else to add. She didn't have plans to invite him in, but he knew he wouldn't persist this time round. He didn't want to appear even clingier than he already was.

"Right," he said. "Cool. So..."

"We're here," she said, blinking at him. She was getting weary as she waited for him to disappear down the hallway, but instead, he stood there as though he was glued to her doormat. She put a hand in front of his face and waved. "Are you alright?"

He gulped.

"It's just... one thing?" he blurted out, feeling himself turning slightly red.

"Yeah?" She was eyeing the mat, struggling to keep her eyes open after a long night.

"Yeah, well..." He choked on his words. "I mean... this might be a long story, but-"

"Sorry if this sounds rude, but if you have any long stories to tell, please make it quick because I am _so_ tired," she said, and he knew she was just being honest.

"Well in that case, it's fine," Ted said quickly, before he could change his mind. "It's nothing. I'll just talk to you some other time."

She paused, eyeing him suspiciously. "What were you going to say?"

"Nothing," he said. "Nothing at all. I just... some other time, OK?"

"Sorry," she muttered. "It's just not a good time right now. But if this is anything urgent, you can say it. You _should_ say it. I mean, I care, even if I'm giving off the impression that I don't."

"Oh, it isn't." He said, shrugging. "It's not a big deal. Not urgent. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"OK then," she said, unconvinced.

"Good night," Ted said, giving her a firm smile as he turned around. He was walking down the corridor when she called him.

"Wait-" Robin called out. He turned around immediately. "I just..." she placed her hand on her forehead for a moment, as if she was trying to recall what she meant to say, before she looked up at him again to meet his gaze. Her voice was soft when she spoke next. "Thanks. Thanks for tonight. It was wonderful. I... I loved it. Thanks."

"Hey. My pleasure."

"Good night, Ted."

"Good night."

They looked at each other for a second and smiled, before she unlocked the door and slid into her apartment. He turned around and walked away, humming to himself in delight as he ran down the stairs, two steps at a time. _Woo_, he thought. _That felt good. These things take time, but t__onight was smashing. A hit. A success in its purest form._

* * *

**One hundred and sixteen days before**

Robin woke up, groggy, to the sound of her landline ringing rapidly, refusing to quit making a racket. She didn't know who would be calling her in the early morning. She didn't even _know_ she had a landline. Despite promising herself she would heave herself up to take a shower last night, she had ended up falling asleep on the couch, exhausted. The amount of willpower she lacked was depressing.

The persistent ringing was giving her a headache, and she failed to locate where the sound was coming from. In the end, she decided she was just going to wait it out. And sure enough, the noise subsided within a moment. _Thank God, _she thought. She rubbed her eyes hastily, reaching out to her bag to fetch her phone. As a newswoman, she had developed the need to be up to date with everything, all the time. And the fact that she had blacked out for long, losing all sense of time, bothered her. She needed to know what she had missed right now.

She felt the cool metal touch at her fingertips and scooped her phone out, but was hit hard when she realised it was out of battery.

_Great_, she thought. _Fine. I'll deal with you later._

Getting up, she blinked to get used to the sunlight seeping in from the half-drawn curtain. She walked into her bedroom, where she put her phone to charge and grabbed her clothes. She reeked of beer, and she was going to pop into the bathroom for a quick shower before anything else.

She slid out twenty minutes later, her hair bunched up in a towel, and into her room. Picking up her phone, her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets. She had fifteen missed calls and eleven texts from Barney. He had even left a _voicemail,_ and she was panic-ridden. _Had something happened to him?_

* * *

**AN: I have a busy timetable! It's just a little crazy right now. I'm doing Chemistry, Biology, Maths, and English Literature, so I'm working my butt off EVERY DAY. I also joined Creative Writing, which makes me SUPER EXCITED because we'll be doing both prose and poetry. To me, that's just like, a bunch of my favourite things stuffed together in one neat, beautiful package tied up with a vibrant red satin string. Eep. So that's how things are going for me, in case anybody wanted to know. A****nyway. Enough about my irrelevant life. I am SO tired. I've just proofread everything and my eyes are giving up on me. They are on the verge of falling out, so I'm going to bed. Cheers, troops. Hope you liked this chapter!**


	17. Chapter 17

**One hundred and sixteen days before (cont.)**

Robin dialled Barney's number, frantic and confused. She didn't think she was off the radar for _that _long. Not long enough for the missed calls and texts to be justified anyway. What the hell had Barney been up to?

"Barney, you're alive," she blurted out forcefully the second the line stopped ringing. "_What the hell?_"

"Robin, you are alive... too," he said, and paused awkwardly. "What the hell?"

"This is what I'm asking you!" she said, frowning as she paced around in the comfort of her living room. "What- wh- I had a _thousand_ missed calls from you! My heart jumped out of my chest - I was _this_ close to calling the FBI. I swear to God, Barney."

"You're exaggerating."

"I wish I was," she puffed, and cleared her mind. "So what's the deal with you and your clinginess last night? Are you going to talk to me about it or are you just going to... I don't know, fool around and leave me more voicemails?"

He sensed the tone of her voice. "Wait, are you mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you."

He chuckled on the other end of the line, and she held her breath irritatingly. She was mad at him, a little bit. How could she not be? He cleared his throat.

"You sound like you're mad at me."

"Well, I'm not!" She exclaimed, and he could picture her rolling her eyes. "Just tell me what your texts _mean_. You with your deep, inspirational quotes on love and... what, _adultery_?" She squinted, trying to recall the messages.

_Oh_. Those. Barney had forgotten he had sent those messages.

He had been propped up on his couch last night, drowning himself in beer while watching boring documentaries that happened to be on TV. It was weird for him to stay home the entire evening. He almost never did that. But he had half-hoped, half-predicted Robin would call him afterwards, and he didn't want to miss the call. So really, he was sat at home _waiting_ for her to call. But his ego prevented him from ever admitting that. He decided he would probably just tell her he had a marvellous time going solo.

But as time passed by and the night grew quiet, things got a bit dull, and he got a bit drunk. And he picked up his phone, which was sitting patiently next to him, and started to compose a string of texts that would probably be highly embarrassing to read. He pressed 'send' without it a second thought, and he wished he could take them back now, but he knew he couldn't.

He was silent on the other end of the line, wondering if he should just shoot himself in the face right there and then to avoid further embarrassment.

"Barney? You still here?"

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah."

"The _texts_? Care to explain those?"

"I was just-"

"You sent me a bunch of messages on adultery out of the blue, and I don't even know how to respond to half of these," she interrupted him. "They're just... crazy. And so random."

"Sorry."

"I'm not mad at you," she reiterated. "I'm not mad at you, OK?"

"Well you do sound highly irritated for a person who's supposedly not mad at anyone..."

"I'm not- it's just... I was _worried_ about you when I woke up this morning to see my phone's blown up like this. _God_," she muttered. She felt slightly weird having to say this kind of stuff out loud, the kind of stuff that only Lily and Marshall said to each other. She was on the edge of cringing at herself. But at the same time, Barney needed to know he had this effect on her, even if it killed her to say it out loud.

"I'm fine," he reassured her, and she sighed. "And I'm sorry. Can I see you?"

"_Now?_"

"Yeah, now. Or later. Whenever."

"Hold on."

There was a pause on the line and he heard the sound of pages being flipped. She was probably checking her jam-packed agenda. The rustling noises continued for a moment, and they stopped.

"Can we do tonight? 7pm, my place?" She eyed her notebook as she traced a finger down the edge of it, holding her phone in the other hand.

"Tonight, 7pm, your place. Got it."

"Don't send me weird texts again. And don't blow up my phone. I'll be right here. I've always been."

* * *

Robin was in the office washroom reapplying her lipstick when she felt her phone vibrate on the counter. She picked it up with her free hand and noticed it was Lily. _Weird,_ she thought, _Lily never calls during office hours. _She picked up anyway. _It could be urgent._

"Hey."

"Hey Robin," Lily chirped. "It's Lily."

"I know. I have caller ID. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry about calling you at work, I know it's bad timing."

"That's OK," Robin responded, trying to fill in her upper lip without smearing the colour. She didn't use to wear bright lipstick - she just never thought she would be able to look good wearing such a daring pop of colour - until she received a tube in a rich shade of magenta from Barney, the first real gift he bought her.

It was one of those romantic and expensive gifts, and he had wrapped it up nicely with a ribbon tied on top. The gift had been sat on the coffee table when Robin slipped into his apartment one night, with a gift tag beside the box, and her name on the tag. He had heard the door unlock and appeared in the living room, a bouquet of roses in one hand. Of course she blushed, and told him that romantic gestures weren't really her thing, despite feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside.

For a split second, she was worried he was going to propose to her - they had not been dating for _that _long, and she had never been fond of marriage - but she was relieved when she realised he had no such intention. She received the roses and unwrapped her gift to find that it was lipstick in a shade of magenta. She didn't think she could pull it off. She had never been a fan of bright lipstick. But he had seemed so hopeful - '_Do you like it? I spent half an hour picking out the best one'_ - that she decided that she could just have a go at it anyway.

She wore it with caution at first, careful not to layer it on, careful to keep it off her teeth, careful to wear lip liner to make sure it stays in place throughout the day. Barney had told her she looked amazing, but she was self-conscious about her choice of lipstick colour and didn't like to draw any attention to herself. She even tried to avoid looking at people in the eye, keeping her head down as she went about with her life. But people around the office noticed soon enough, and after receiving a plethora of compliments about her refreshing change, she started to see the good side of the bright colour.

_Yes,_ she thought, _t__his could be better than the pale pink and coral shades. This exerts confidence, the kind that I need._

She decided the lipstick was to stay, and it was a good call. She wore it on a daily basis now, and always received compliments from strangers when she commuted to and from work. The gang never got around to figuring out the reason behind her sudden change, but they were incredibly fond of her look too.

A toilet flushed in one of the cubicles.

"Are you in the washroom?"

Lily had a sharp ear.

"Yeah, I was just touching up my make-up," Robin said, pouting to make sure she had filled in her lips nicely before putting away her lipstick. She tucked it in her skirt pocket.

"Oh." For a moment, Lily was lost in thought.

"So... what's the matter?"

A petite intern with her blond hair tied up in a ponytail emerged from the cubicle and Robin scooted over to make room for her. She washed and wiped her hands, and they exchanged a polite smile before she slipped out.

"Oh. Well I was just wondering if Piper's at work today, because I'm en route to the art shop and I've got half an hour to spare. I just thought I'd... kind of drop by, you know? Say hi." Lily explained, and Robin's eyes widened.

"Piper's... Piper's not here," Robin said. "She's on a business trip. Didn't Barney tell you anything about it?" She was trying not to make it so obvious that she was spewing lie after lie, and she was doing alright. The previous her would have struggled with it, but she seemed to have gotten the hang of it now. She didn't deem it as a good quality - to be good at lying - but she decided it wasn't a bad thing to have handy either.

"Oh," Lily said, and Robin felt bad as she heard the disappointment in her best friend's voice.

"Sorry," she apologised, but her voice was strained.

"Do you know where she's gone? Or when she's going to be back? Since you guys work together and everything, I just thought you'd know," Lily said.

"Barcelona," Robin said before she could stop herself. She had talked about Woody Allen with Ted the previous night, and he had told her she should watch _Vicky Cristina Barcelona_. _It's quite unusual, but it's a good movie, _he had said. He showed her the trailer on his phone at the bar, and the film had been in her subconscious since then.

"Barcelona," Lily echoed.

"Yep. I'm not sure when she'll be back, though." Robin said, hoping Lily would stop asking questions._  
_

"Well, that's fine, then. I guess I can drop by some other time when she's back," Lily said.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"Mm-hm. OK, I'm not going to hold you up. I'll catch you later. Bye!"

"Cool," Robin mumbled. "Bye!" She locked her phone and looked around the washroom. _She just needed to stop lying so much._

* * *

**rscherbatsky: **Told Lily Piper went on a business trip. To Barcelona. That's in Spain. Just keep that in mind.

* * *

The doorbell rang and Robin sprung from the couch. It was not yet 6:45, but she decided it must be Barney. She had returned home half an hour ago and changed into a tank top and shorts immediately, excited to just plop onto her bed after an exhausting day. She walked to the door and turned the lock, letting him in without so much as giving him a second glance.

"What was so urgent that you couldn't wait another fifteen minutes to stop by?" she asked as she walked into the kitchen to get him something warm to drink. There had been a temperature drop lately and because of that, she had a supply of hot chocolate in a warmer. She heard the front door close and lock shut, and she was pouring the hot chocolate into her favourite mug when she noticed the pace of the footsteps was different than usual. She turned around and nearly dropped everything.

It took her a few moments to process everything, and then reality kicked in.

_No. No no no no no. No. No. _No. _No._

* * *

**AN: Sorry for being gone for eight thousand years! Caught up in everything, I've barely had the time to write this week. Also, does anybody else get incredibly sad when they listen to When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars? I just keep thinking it's about Swarkles and how they didn't end up together in the end and I'm like, EXCUSE ME WHILE I BAWL MY FACE OFF. This is emotionally crippling and I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Ciao.**


	18. Chapter 18

**One hundred and sixteen days before (cont.)**

"Ted, what are you doing here?" Robin could barely articulate her words, and they came out in a sort of stammer. Her eyes were wide with alarm, the mug of chocolate trembling in her hands.

"I just wanted to-" Ted said, and then he paused, surveying the living room and the mug of chocolate. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"No," she lied, and then realised she didn't sound very convincing at all. "Yes. I mean... _yes_. I was. Sort of. A little bit. So _this_-" she gestured at him with her free hand, "comes across as confusing and... um, I'm- I'm sorry. Just... let me put this down." She placed the mug onto the kitchen counter and walked to where he stood, crossing her arms as she waited to hear what he had to say for himself.

Ted realised it was his cue to speak, and he looked at her. "Look, I was going to say this last night, but you were tired, so I thought I should do it at a better... _time_."

"Time," Robin repeated, snapping out of her mind and feeling a wave of franticness. She had to tell Barney about the change of plans. "What time is it?"

"Um," he frowned, pulling his sleeve up to check his watch. "6:54. Anyway, I needed to tell you that-"

"Whatever you need to tell me, you can wait, can't you?"

He was looking slightly impatient. "Well, not really."

"Real quick. I just need to make a call, and then we're... we can talk afterwards, OK?"

"Robin, you need to stop... fidgeting every time I try to talk to you. _Focus_. Can't you stay still for one moment?"

"Yes. It's just that I really need to sort something out before it all-"

The doorbell rang, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Is that-"

"No," Robin said, interrupting him. "It's fine. It's the delivery guy. I ordered... soup. Pizza. Takeaway," she stated, but he was already on his way to the door. "Ted, don't. No. I _didn't_ order soup. That was a lie. Just-"

He opened the door, and sure enough, he came to face Barney. They looked at each other, and Ted looked at Robin, then back at Barney.

"Robin?"

"Yes. I ordered soup. With Barney. No, I _didn't. _I didn't order anything. He... we were-" she ran out of words, and she decided to shut her mouth before any more damage could be done.

* * *

"Robin, what is Barney doing here?" Ted asked, dangling on the edge of his suspicions. He was trying to be calm, but his own mind was racing. _Maybe they were together, and maybe he had to give them their blessing after all, as a good friend should. Maybe this all had been a lie, and Piper didn't really exist, and- no. That's crazy. Piper exists, because you saw her, and even though it was in Barney's nature to be out of control, he would not have hired someone to play his girlfriend. Because that just sounds ridiculous and unfeasible. _He was going to be rational. He was going to let her explain, and he was going to listen to what Barney had to say.

"He-" Robin started again, but she had no idea what she was about to say, so she decided to go for another approach. "Wait. No. Why are _you _here?"

The question seemed to catch Ted off-guard, and he took a step back, feeling defensive about his motives all of a sudden. He didn't know what to think or feel in that moment.

"I'm here because I needed to tell you something."

"What do you need to tell me?" She pressed on, her lips tightened in anxiousness, while Barney stood in the corner of her living room, alarmed. She wasn't going to let Ted do the questioning. She had questions for him, too. Probably not as many as he had for her right now, but that didn't matter.

"Whatever I need to talk to you about, I need to talk to you about it in private," he said, trying to be calm, but clearly upset at how the situation was turning out. He wasn't envisioning this at all. He noticed Barney fidgeting in the corner of his eye, and he snapped back to his interrogation. "But why is _Barney_ here?"

Robin panicked internally, but she decided to put on a brave face. _Try not to lie too much, Scherbatsky._

"Because I invited him over."

Ted felt a surge of jealousy, but he stopped himself from saying anything spiteful. "Why did you... I mean, you two aren't even friends."

"Ted, we _are_ friends," Barney interrupted, rolling his eyes. Both Ted and Robin turned to face him. In his silence, they had forgotten about his presence. "Robin invited me because I have problems with Piper and I needed her advice. Right, Robin?" He raised his eyebrows, as if to tell her to play along.

"Yeah," she responded. "They were having... problems. And since I know Piper well- I mean, I don't really know her _that_ well, but I work with her, so I feel like I'm going to help him out somehow, one way or the other."

Ted turned his head back and forth, interrogating them with his gaze, feeling sceptical about this whole thing. He didn't know much about the situation, but he did know one thing - Barney was a pro at lying, but Robin was embarrassingly bad at it. She squeaked and talked in a high pitched voice every time she tried to manage a lie. She had been like this ever since they met, so if she had just been doing that - so if she had just been lying, she would have tripped up already.

"Is that really all there is to this?" Ted asked again, just to make sure.

"God, Ted. _Yes_," Barney confirmed.

It was awkward, the three of them standing in her living room, and no one knew what to do. Ted needed to talk to Robin about his feelings, but Barney needed to talk to her about Piper. All the while, she just seemed indecisive about everything.

"Do you want me to... go?" Ted offered, knowing he had interrupted their meeting.

"No," Robin said quickly, feeling bad about pushing him aside like that. "I mean, you haven't told me what you were going to tell me. You can at least... talk to me about it. You made it seem urgent. I don't know."

"Yeah, I was going to talk to you in private, though. And without... disruptions."

"Sorry. I'm sorry. For dragging it out. We can still talk," Robin shrugged, and Barney took the cue to stand outside her apartment. _Sorry,_ she mouthed as he was closing the door, and then she turned to Ted.

"Alright. Let's talk."

* * *

"No," Robin said, biting her lip with uncertainty. She frowned apologetically. "Ted, I'm so sorry, but... I can't do this again. You know I can't."

"Can't we at least give it one more shot?"

"No," she lowered her voice, but her response was firm.

"But we had that spark - we had it right from the beginning. Why are you so keen on trying to extinguish it? It's like you're afraid of being happy."

"We _had_ that spark, yes, but that was ages ago. You can't... you can't base my feelings on something that happened so long ago. It makes no logical sense. People change their minds." She was trying to be calm, but at this point, she was feeling awful. She hoped her apartment door wouldn't be thin enough for Barney to overhear their conversation. She didn't want him to hear about any of it. Not because she was guilty of anything, but because she didn't want to burden him with this additional information. She didn't want him to be unnecessarily defensive about her.

"Well, I haven't changed mine," Ted pressed on urgently, trying to make her see his point. Why couldn't she just take a leap of faith and believe that if they were to try again - this time harder - and do things right this time round, they could be happy?

"But I've changed _mine_."

Ted stood up and paced the living room with his brows furrowed. He took a moment before he looked at her in the eye and started speaking again.

"Is there someone else in the picture?"

During their conversation, Robin had managed to sneak in a couple of white lies, and she had lied by omission. But she couldn't blatantly lie to him like that. Barney had told her that sometimes, people _need_ to be blatantly lied to. It was a necessity, and in the end, it never mattered as long as they never find out they had been lied to. But she couldn't do it to Ted. He was a good friend, and she didn't think that was how friendship worked. He was asking her a simple yes or no question, and sure, she was desperate to keep her secret, but she felt that the least she could do was be honest about one thing. She couldn't bring herself to twist it around. She couldn't do it. She took a deep breath.

"_Yes_."

Ted took a step back, contemplating what to say. He had not expected her to be frank with him. He had half-expected her to beat around the bush, and to play the 'guess what I'm thinking!' game she was used to getting him into when they dated. It was the one negative quality she had in his eyes, and he had never felt good about their relationship when she played that game. But she had clearly grown out of it, and she had clearly changed quite a bit, as all people do.

"Well..." he shuffled his feet, focusing on her carpeted floor before he looked at her again. "I'm glad you're honest with me, in the very least. I mean... this really sucks. To hear that you're never going to consider _us. _You aren't, are you?"

"No, I'm not." She was quiet now.

She didn't know Ted still had plans to pursue her until tonight. They had called it off long ago, and it was, as he liked to call it, _amicable, _even though after the time of the breakup, he had refused to leave the couch for an entire week. He declared he was to stay in the apartment for the rest of his life until she took him back. And of course, she never did take him back, which only caused them to grow further apart, even as friends. At that time, they were stressed and annoyed with each other, and she made her choices clear when she refused to talk to him until he agreed to get dressed and to start functioning as a normal human being again. _Amicable, huh?_ she had thought. _I don't think you know what that word means._

_"But-"_

"Ted, listen."

"I am."

"_I don't love you_," she stated honestly, feeling numb. "And it doesn't matter who else is in the picture, because the problem isn't them. The problem is us. The problem is that I don't know how to make myself love you. We're complete opposites. And... you're a _romantic, _Ted. I know you're not going to believe this, but you're going to meet someone that will make you forget all about me and you two are going to work out fine because if you believe in this soulmate thing, you're going to get one. I know it seems impossible and a little stupid to be hearing it from me, but it's going to happen. I'm not trying to shake you off. I'm trying to be honest. Please don't hold out for me like this, because I don't deserve your affection, because I can't return it."

"Robin."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. She didn't know what else to say.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I just... I just thought we had a shot, and it was kind of stupid of me to try to ruin everything after what happened the first time round. I should've gotten the hint. And... you're right, possibly. I mean, I know you're right in the way that we're opposites, and... it was just _wrong_ of me to be pushing you like this."

Normally, she would have considered him to be petty, but with his defeated retreat, she found it upsetting. She didn't like the feeling of saying 'no', of turning people down, of disappointing people. Ever since she was young, she had wanted to please. For the first sixteen years of her life, she desperately wanted to impress her father, and even though she was an adult now, some things never fade away.

"I..." She had heard what she needed to hear, and she would call this situation resolved. She didn't feel like apologising anymore, and she didn't think he did either.

"You're right. You have a point. You're never going to love me. God, this sounds so depressing when said aloud. But... you're never going to love me, and that's said not as something to bring me down on purpose. Just a cold, hard fact."

Robin nodded.

"Can we just pretend this never happened?"

She nodded again, still silent. She was still trying to process this.

"Can we just go back to the start of this conversation and start over?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "Back to the start."

"The start." He paused, she looked up at him from the couch hesitantly. "Robin, I have something to tell you."

"Yes?"

"Will you go out with me?"

She frowned. "Ted-"

"I wasn't done talking. The full question was: will you go out with me - as a friend? We can get ice-cream."

A tired smile crept up on Robin's face. She could tell he was trying to make an effort, and despite feeling exhausted, she was glad.

"Yes. I'd like that..." she hesitated, and she placed her palm on her forehead as she remembered Barney was supposed to be standing outside her apartment. It had been half an hour since he stepped out. _God_. "Can we let Barney in now? The poor guy's been standing there for half an hour."

* * *

**AN: I'm really, really sorry for disappearing and not getting back to your reviews. The past week and a half had been particularly stressful - I had assessments and presentations, and those grades were going to determine my placement for the year so I dropped everything and channelled all my energy into studying. On another note: I actually wrote two versions of this chapter, and the alternative was Barney showing up, but I didn't know where I was going with that one so I stuck with this one. And it makes sense, I guess. I mean, Ted's borderline creepy with his affection sometimes, but at the end of the day, he's also a good friend and he's definitely the type of person to want to make sure everyone else's happy if it meant he had to compromise. Anyway. I hope you're having a good weekend!**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: UPDAAAAATE! Woo! Hope everyone is having a fantastic week!**

* * *

**One hundred and sixteen days before (cont.)**

"How was the talk?" Barney asked softly the second Ted left the apartment with some sort of newfound perception on love. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know-"

"That's enough talking in one evening for me," Robin responded, locking the door with one hand as she turned around to fiddle with Barney's collar, loosening his tie. She turned him around and pressed him up against the door, her hands all over him, and though surprised, he returned her affection.

"Can we not do it... _right at the door_?" he mumbled in between her urgent kisses, and she nodded, pulling him into the bedroom, knocking into things clumsily in the darkness. She pulled his tie off, kicked her bedroom door forcefully and let it shut with a loud bang. She could only focus on him right now.

* * *

**One hundred and fifteen days before**

"I just wish we could start talking about things now," Barney said, sitting upright on the bed. Sunlight streamed into the room and he noticed dust particles floating in the air. He turned to look at her, who was still lying down, with her face buried into a pillow.

"No."

"Robin, I know what Ted talked to you about."

"No, you didn't. You think you do, but you don't have a clue," she flipped around and lied on her back, mumbling and cringing at the night before. It was resolved, yes, but everything about it had been so wrong. Everything about it made her want to hurl. "Worst night of my life."

"Whoa, wait," Barney interrupted, holding a hand up in midair. "More like _best_ night of your life, thanks to me." He corrected, before turning around to kiss her all over her face, poking at her ribs to make her crack a smile. He loved when she smiled, but she had not been doing that very often lately, which bothered him as much as whatever bothered her.

"No," she said, but she was finally smiling as she tried to protect her sides. "Don't poke me. Stop it."

"Admit that it was the best night of your life and I'll stop," he said, tackling her gently while scrunching up his nose, and she almost did. Last night was good. _Barney was good. _But she still felt weird about the thing with Ted, and she had tried so hard spending the whole night forgetting about it that everything came rushing back to her mind in the morning.

He stopped poking her, and she paused to take a breath. "Hm. Never."

"Come on!" He prodded, wagging his fingers, and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, fine. Just to humour you." She cleared her throat. "It was... _good_."

He shook his head. "_Good_ is not the adjective. At least use a better one. Like _amazing, great, mind-blowing_-"

"It definitely was not _mind-blowing, _mind you. I'm not going to be feeding your ego all the time."

"What ego?"

"You know."

She sat up, tucking her chin onto her knees as she covered herself with the duvet.

"Right," Barney said. "I know. And I know what you and Ted were talking about last night." He knew she didn't want to share, but he also knew he was clever enough to trick her into talking about it. He was going to slip bits and pieces into their conversation, and she was going to respond to him naturally, and soon enough, the 'talk' would be over before either of them should know it. He had it all planned out.

"Barney-" She figured him out on the spot. "I do not want to talk about it, OK? What part of that do you not understand? I'm speaking in perfect English-"

Barney snickered. "_Canadian English_."

She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, that wasn't funny," he apologised and looked at her square in the eye. "But we _need_ to talk about this."

"It was embarrassing."

"I know, and I blame myself. I should have told you about it before he came trampling into your apartment like that so you could have prepared a script or something."

"You can't blame your- wait, _you_ _knew_?" Robin asked, taken aback. "Oh, OK. So you're trying to tell me you've known about this all along, and you've not told me a single thing about it, for whatever reason." She crossed her arms.

He was surprised at her sudden change of mood. She looked sour.

"Yeah, I knew. But I didn't tell you because I didn't think you needed to know just yet. I was biding time..."

"For what?"

"I thought I was going to come up with a plan to talk him out of it and you wouldn't have to know."

She looked at him, and she thought: _Ridiculous. _"You thought I didn't need to know, and you thought it didn't concern me, even though it was _about_ me?" She asked, trying not to be mad. "Barney," she said his name again. "You need to stop thinking you've got it under control, because half of your so-called 'plans' never really work out in the end. Prime example being Piper, or _not, _because you can't even manage to keep track of one human being!"

"In my defense, I _was_ going to tell you-"

"After everything's happened and I've embarrassed myself well enough for me to never leave my house again for the rest of my life? That was when you were going to tell me, wasn't it? When _were_ you planning on telling me?"

"I was going to tell you last night! I was heading over to tell you about it, but Ted beat me to it, and honestly... I don't know how he read my mind about coming over to your place, but I sure as hell didn't know he was going to confess right away." He said, wiping a sweat from his brow. "You should not be so caught up in this."

"How long have you known about this?" She looked at him, feeling repulsed by his remark.

"A while."

"And how long was that little while? A week?"

He bit his lip.

"A month? Or longer than that?" She said, watching his expression carefully. "Oh my god. I can't believe this." She buried her face in her hands, trying not to overwhelm herself as she attempted to stay composed.

"Why does it matter? This whole thing is done now. It's over. You did a good job turning him down and he did a good job not blowing it out of proportion." He was frustrated at the response he had gotten. He had been half expecting her to go, _'Oh, Barney, you and your bad timing!'_ and laugh it off should she ever discover he was trying to have a proper talk, but now she looked cross with him, and he didn't know what to do to make it better. He knew he had done the wrong thing by dragging Ted's plans out and keeping quiet, but it wasn't entirely his fault, and she definitely shouldn't be reacting like this. He had been keeping it from her for her own sake, and she had always been cool about their faults.

When he looked over at her, her shoulders were shaking.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, but she didn't look up from her hands. "For my outburst. But you have to realise this isn't... it's not funny. It's my life."

"God, don't apologise," he said. He was frantic, and out of reflex, he put his arm around her to draw her close. She stayed there, huddled beneath his embrace, and they both closed their eyes. "It was my fault."

"But you're right. It's done. It's just... it's been horribly awkward. And I felt so bad about the whole thing, and in that moment, I was actually _scared_ at how it was going to unfold."

"You're alright," he said gently, stroking her hair. She peeped up at him, and he opened his eyes. She nodded and sat up. "But I have more bad news."

"What?" she choked up the word quietly.

"The bad news is," he tightened his lips into a line. He looked solemn. "Piper and I kind of broke up last night, because we never got around to talking about our problems... because the person who was supposed to offer advice on saving my relationship ended up sleeping with me."

The edge of her lips curled up. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry about this. Tell Piper I'm sorry."

"You can't sleep with someone's boyfriend and just tell them sorry. I'm afraid it doesn't work like that."

"It was an accident, I swear. And it's not my fault her boyfriend is actually co-dating me. He's a two-timer."

"Hey, now. That was cheeky. Don't be sarcastic about my relationship."

"Don't worry about me being sarcastic. Worry about the gang reacting to your breakup instead."

He sighed.

"Brace yourself. They're going to be crying about it for the next five weeks."

* * *

**One hundred and twelve days before**

Ted seemed to have moved on pretty quickly. Either Robin had finally managed to knock some sense into him with her improvised speech four days ago, or he was just really good at hiding his true emotions. Either way, he didn't seem mopey at all, which was a great news to everyone.

"Guys, I have bad news." Barney said when he plopped himself onto the chair at the end of the table.

"Am I dying?" Marshall asked frantically as he turned to Lily. "Baby, you know the blue bank card I have tucked in my wallet? The PIN is 42-"

"Don't be ridiculous," Barney said, dismissing Marshall, while Lily patted her husband on the hand as if to say, _Barney's right._

"What is the bad news?" Ted prodded Barney.

"The bad news is..." he started, and everybody leaned in. "I broke up with Piper."

Lily gasped audibly, and Marshall's face fell.

"Barney, you did... _what_?" Lily exclaimed, nudging him in the rib hard.

"Ow, _ow_!" He jumped up, swatting her hands away from his torso. He settle down and delivered the news again. "I broke up. With Piper. Yes. That happened."

"Did you cheat on her and did she somehow find out about it?" Ted asked.

"Or maybe she realised you don't own the railway stations you told her you did," Robin commented as a matter-of-factly. "She probably found out you're not a millionaire and decided you're not worth the time and effort. It happens."

"Or maybe she just dumped you because she realised she was a ten and you're, at most, an eight. Sometimes a nine, but she would need to be quite drunk." Marshall chipped in.

"Uh, no, guys. Stop saying that. You're my friends! You're supposed to be supporting me through this very tough time. And she didn't _dump_ me. _I _dumped _her_. Subtle difference, but it matters, because Barney Stinson doesn't get _dumped; _he dumps people." Barney corrected them, and Robin cracked a discreet smile at his defensiveness.

"OK, your poor thing. She _definitely_ dumped you," Lily concluded, shrugging before studying him seriously. "Right in the middle of a business trip, too. I bet she met some hot Spanish guy and decided he looked better in suits than you did."

"Lily, that's actually offensive," Barney said, secretly pleased with how the gang was reacting. They liked to tease and they liked to make fun of situations, but beyond those layers of banter, they really cared. That was their thing, and he knew that. "Nobody looks better in suits than I do, so don't even talk about that again because you're just embarrassing yourself."

Lily smiled, and then she looked at him seriously. She extended an arm to rub his back, and he let her.

"Are you sure you're alright, though? You know we're here for you."

"I am. I am very alright. I am more than alright. I am pretty awesome. What gave you the impression that I'm not?"

"I don't know... it's just... you never really talk about your feelings." She said, retracting her arm. He shrugged in response. "If you're upset, you can always talk to me about it. Or if you want to talk to a guy instead, then Ted and Marshall are your best picks."

"Yeah, I'm not upset." He said, and then he paused when he realised the gang had been looking at him, studying his features for the longest time, trying to figure him out, searching for clues. "Honestly, guys. I'm not being sarcastic or bitter or anything. I am a grown-up. I'm not going to cry on the floor eating ice-cream while listening to Taylor Swift on repeat. That's Ted's job."

"Hey! That's a totally reasonable thing to do," Ted pointed out. "Sometimes I feel like Taylor Swift just gets me. It's like she reads my diary or something and just understands."

Robin pulled a face.

"Ted, really? You keep a diary?" She tried to keep her drink down, but she was on the verge of spluttering in laughter. "What do you write in it? Book reviews for _The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants_?"

"Personally, I thought the second book was better," Ted offered genuinely, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Stop it, you guys. This is Barney's depressing moment," she said, before turning to face Barney. "Whatever you say, as long as you're alright, OK?"

"I am _fine, _Lily. Really. It wasn't a serious relationship anyway," he explained, and Robin raised an eyebrow in amusement, watching him try to get himself out of the mess. It was amusing... _sort of._

"Well, we just want you to feel better," Marshall said sincerely. "Because we care about you."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I just thought I should let you guys know before you find out from her."

"How would we ever get to find out from her if you guys had broken up? We barely know this girl," Marshall said, and Barney shrugged. "If you guys break up, it's not like we're going to invite her over for tea or anything. That's just... _weird._" He narrowed his eyes, looking at Lily. "_Totally_ weird, right?"

"No, baby. We're not doing that. It _is_ weird." Lily brushed him off, and his shoulders sank by a fraction.

"Well, I don't know. She's a newswoman. Maybe she would decide to appear on the news at 5 o'clock and decide to talk about how I dumped her and how she would never trust a man ever again in her life, for as long as she lived, because the scar I had left her with was too much to bear for her poor, innocent heart." Barney joked.

"You're ridiculous, Barney," Lily said as she took a sip of her beer. He was going to be OK.


End file.
